Author

Itscolourlife

Its colour life.. I wish my life can get more colour.. Yes a bright one..

“What is your dream..?” he asked

by Itscolourlife 11/30/2018

written by Itscolourlife

When he ask me
” What is your dream..? ”
I keep silence

And he said
” I just want to live right now.. at least ”
I keep silence

And when I finally say my thought
I say..
” Nothing ”

The time keep going for him
But the time already stop for me

I really want to say this
To you..
To the world..

” I want to fly and die beautifully surrounding by flower petals ”

It will be an unreachable dream
And like a gift
For me..

To you..
To whose birthday is 2 Dec
I dont want to hurt you
For the sake of the first love […]

11/30/2018 0 comment

A Hat in Time

by Itscolourlife 11/28/2018

written by Itscolourlife

I step out..
Im trying to step out today..
In my heart
I feel the burden
I feel sick
Thats why I want to step out
Finding the reason why Im still alive

No one there
For me.. so..
I step back
I open the door
With hesitation I lock it

Its okay
Im telling myself
Its okay
Im trying to smile
Smile
Instead the tears drop

Im asking
Why Im still here
Dying is so hard to do
Living is so hard to do
I realize
Im just leftover
Wilting by myself
Deep in the sea
Out of this world
Craving to breath the happy life

I crawl […]

11/28/2018 0 comment

I dont belong to this world

by Itscolourlife 10/22/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Its not me
Its me
I want me
Its not me
I hate me
Its me
I love me
Its not me

This place that I dont belong to
Where is the place I belong to
No one care about me
The good deed I did
The other receive the happiness
Me?
No one remember me
Why?
A?
A?
You dont belong here
Dont you hear me?
The hell is your place to go

You hate everyone in this world
You hate yourself
No one care about you
No one love you
You are like satan
Since a kid you are just..
Satan

Useless
Till now..

Be normal..
You […]

10/22/2018 2 comments

I have no one

by Itscolourlife 10/4/2018

written by Itscolourlife

They said your family, friends, or someone in this world
There must be someone who can help you
No..
Ive tried it..

I try to tell them but they are not there
I try to tell my friends but they got annoyed and leave me at the end
I try to tell my mom but she just said get over it
I try to tell my sister but she just said im stress too
I try to tell my dad but he said you are worthy try your best

Im trying but i never been there
What I want to be
What I want to have
Kill […]

10/4/2018 8 comments

Out of My Face Boy

by Itscolourlife 9/20/2018

written by Itscolourlife

I will never ever try to or fall in love again to anyone
Cause no one will understand the pain I got
Even tho I tell you all about it
You still dont understand
Am I to selfish to you??
Yes I am
Am I too moody?
Yes I am
Im already told you THIS IS ME
Im still under depression and still hating everyone around me
You said I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE
But YOU DONT
Look what you have done ?!
You make it worse
Just go away from my life
Im not here to share happiness with you
I cant […]

9/20/2018 0 comment

Reason… No Reason…

by Itscolourlife 9/20/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Yesterday I find a reason to live
Today I find a reason to die
Tomorrow what is the reason ?

Go back to my old self
Thats what I want
But it wont
Cause its already gone
The reason behind it

9/20/2018 0 comment

Yes Im a Baby

by Itscolourlife 9/11/2018

written by Itscolourlife

I just want you to be there

Ask me
Whats wrong
What happened
Are you okay

Tell me
Your story
Your pain
Your love

Is it too hard as a family ?
Im at my limit

My smile
My laugh
Its fake

See through me
Love me

PS :
One day if you read this when Im gone…
At least you know what I feel
How I longed for your love and touch like a baby

9/11/2018 0 comment

United happiness

by Itscolourlife 9/9/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Never leave your happiness
Never abandoned your source of happiness
For someone that will give you happiness

It seems like its the same happiness
But its not
Its impermanent happiness

Never leave your happiness
For another happiness
Because it should be united as one happiness in the end

9/9/2018 0 comment

World of Scar

by Itscolourlife 9/9/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Ive been in pain for so long…
I want to die..
But Im still alive until now..
Its getting worse and worse..
And worse… and worse…
And worse… and worse…
And worse… and worse…
How long I can hold my scream…
How to live..
How… but how….
But how… but how…
Someone kill me…
This is so hard…

9/9/2018 0 comment

My Last Wish

by Itscolourlife 6/26/2018

written by Itscolourlife

A wish thay I always wish to come true
A wish that will make my life better
A wish that can end my suffering
Is a wish to die

Im always wrong
Im still here why …?

No more reason to life
No more smile
Every breath is painful
I wish to die

6/26/2018 5 comments

Hang in there

by Itscolourlife 3/6/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Because I smile when I can see your smile
Because Im breathing when I can see you live
Without you Im dead inside
The death is no different with what I feel without you

If I can switch my life with you
I would love too
Ill be happy to die first
Than seeing you off first

Or should I just go with you
The pain I hold
The scar I have
I cant stand with my own feet

Should I just go with you..?

3/6/2018 0 comment

My Path… Your Path… My Dream… Your Dream… ?

by Itscolourlife 2/10/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Hello Im back again !
So.. this is what I feel right now..
I want to be loved by my parents.. I want them to hear my stories.. chatting and laughing with me..
Im stuck here..
The doctor said that I suffered from depresssion and stress right now..
I thought that they will understand and love me after what they heard..
But its still the same..
What makes me sad is..
I try to live like what my parents want since a kid..
I will try to live up to their expectation..
I even stop pursuing my hobby as what my parents told me.. Actually […]

2/10/2018 1 comment

Hi Itscolourlife !

by Itscolourlife 1/30/2018

written by Itscolourlife

Hello my friend !

Im new here.. so.. I wish I can get some friend..
Maybe..?
I will post whats in my mind when Im down here..
I wish this place can help me to overcome my stressfull life..
See you again sometimes..
???

1/30/2018 5 comments

Newer Posts

Older Posts