I’ll never have a girlfriend, a wife or a family. There are no wives left. Even if there were I’m the ugliest man of all time. Quantifiably so. I can never be loved because of it I have to shoot myself so I don’t keep trying and perpetually break my own heart in permanent loneliness.
Eyedontmatter
I cant stop eating I’m too depressed to function so I eat to cope. I want to cut myself so bad so I keep eating as a way to cope but I’m so fucking fat I’m driving myself crazy. I have to die soon this life isnt completely worthless I believe in the most high and that to even be alive is a gift. I just want to be better at it. I hate being undeserving of love because I eat too many calories. I hate that I dont have a better way to cope. I hate that I’m so alone.
This is literally true about me. This isn’t an opinion it’s a factual statement. If I were viewed as an objective study there would be no other determination to make. I hate dealing with it I hate not being able to ignore it. I hate being so fat that I can never be loved. When I eat I want to kill myself. All I have to do is fast and maybe I’ll be attractive enough to matter to a woman. Women have literally chosen getting beat up by someone better looking over me. I’m disgusting I repulse women and now my dead end job has […]
After hundreds of attempts I know it wont though. I just dont want to be here. I never have I hate the reminders of ugliness. I hate being so ugly in such a shallow world. I hate that I am so out of touch with modernity that everything fills me with such angst. I hate this entire path that has lead me to the dead end job working fat FA loser in his 30s living at home with mom. I wanted to kill myself at 12. Things have gotten so much worse in the 20ish years since then. When can I at least have a […]
I can tell in my therapist eyes she’s realizing what I already knew before I walked in. That I’m beyond saving. I hear it in her voice that she doesn’t think she can help. Its still early I haven’t had the time to talk about everything. What happens when we get to the real heavy stuff? I have to escape this pain soon. I have to kill myself. There is no escaping the ever present pain. None at all. Hopefully I can finally have a heart attack and die. Prevent the trouble involved with suiciding.
There is such a little point of my life. I have literally been suicidal longer than many of you been alive. I have no place in this world and have to kill myself so bad. I dont understand social media it makes me more suicidal than I already am so I haven’t used it in years. In the time it has shaped the world around me into a place I dont recognize. I’m so alone poor and ugly and incompetent. I want to die so bad I’ve been so alone and depressed and suicidal for so long. I have to blow my brains out in […]
I have been on this site off and on for nearly a decade. I’m tired of being permasuicideal. I know in the next 18 months I’m going to finally blow my head off my shoulders. I’m so sick of explaining my situation under different screennames I’m not going to detail my situation. I’m just screaming here so I dont cut myself. I hate all of the anxiety I face I hate being too ugly for a woman in the most promiscuous era of human history. I’m fractured im old and I’m fucking tired of everything.