Just any1. Any1 at all. I need to talk to anyone. I don’t want 2 feel like this I need to let it out. Im tired of holding it inside. I dont want to cut. I need a friend. I feel alone and scared. Im tired. Just someone 2 listen and not judge. please.
I just wish my sanity would just stay. I hate it when my head plays these games. I wish the panic attacks would just stop. It is not that big of a deal. I’m so insicure and you can see it in my face. I’m so ashamed of it. I wish I could just talk about things instead of bottling it. Instead of dealing with shit I get lost in work. I enterlenize everything. I’m destroying myself. And then the anger. It just builds in my system. It fucking boils. I can’t stand it sometimes. It’s me. I know it’s me and it sucks I […]
i need an idea, something to write about, anything to take my mind off of things. plz
The Anger came back. It feels like poison. It takes everything out of me and to compensate, I take it out on everyone and everything around me. I wish I didn’t I feel sorry after I do. But it just doesn’t seem to go away. It’s a punishment. I can’t sleep at night. I drink so I won’t dream. I have such an overwhelming guilt. I wish I could go back… Not to change the outcome. I don’t think anyone can cheat death. When it’s your turn. It’s your turn. I just wish I could have gone back. Not left her alone. I wish anyone, […]
anyone wanna talk?
i hate being alone. any1 want 2 talk?
i cannot sleep, again, it has been about two weeks, the voices will not let me be. the feeling is just so overwhelming. i am trying to listen to his music. i want to get into his head. i want to feel what he feels when he listens to this. but then again maybe i shouldn’t. i do not deserve him. he deserves better. a lot better than me. i am not good for him. i wish these feeling would leave me alone. i hate being weak. i hate being alone with these thoughts. in the moments i feel most alive, they bring me lower […]
i can’t stand this, it just happened all of a sudden. had such a great time last night and right now i’m having a fuckin panic attack, i need someone 2 talk 2, some 1 2 talk me through this, fuck i can’t be alone with my thoughts. anything, tell me about the weather,music, i just need this to pass!!!!!!!!!!
i just want to disappear.
Anyone please help. I’m so tired of being angry. I’m so tired of being sad. I’m starting to plan it out. I’m getting thing ready to end it. I’m so sick of these thoughts. I just want to feel important to someone. I want someone to care. Please someone help.
The pain inside was so bad it would hurt to breath or talk. Their were days that I hated opening my eyes in the morning because it meant dealing with this bullshit one more day. It hurt so bad. Everyday for a while now I’ve asked myself, with no answer, why did they break my heart? It had to be an accident right? No one every intentionally hurts you like this, do they? I was asking questions I already knew the answer too. I think I deserved it. I had too. The pain inside is so bad, your body is just not able to handle […]
Tonight I will close my eyes, knowing, that what is at the end of a needle or at the bottom of a bottle is more important than me. It is not a feeling or a thought. It is a fact. My life is worth less than a $20 dollar rush. I have had two days to ponder this and it has finally sink in. If God did not get his message through the first time with the first guy, He definitely got it through the second time with the new guy. I am not worth the effort or the time. I am a waste of […]
need something to write about. anythin to distract me from what im thinking
Why did he tell me he loved it when I smilled if he was just going to make me cry? Why did he hold me tight if he was just going to let me go and not come back? Why did he tell me he loved me if he was just going to break my heart? It’s not fair. Same stupid heartache. That boy makes me feel so special and low at the sametime. I want to pick up what I can carry and just run away. Forget his name. Forget his face. Forget all the kisses he gave me and the […]
Why did he ask me for a kiss? Why did he have to tell me he loved me? How come my heart told me over and over again he meant it? I felt like I was floating even though he was wrapping his arms around me, telling me to never go. His laugh made me smile. His touch was felt everywhere and the way he kissed me tugged on my heart. Why did he have to fill my head with all these lies? Why couldn’t he just tell me he wanted one thing? It would have been easier. Why did he make me feel higher […]
I’m tired. My body detests me. I’ve put it through hell. The scars can attest to that. I can’t fall asleep without a drink in me. I close my eyes at two in the morning and wake up to non existing screaming a couple hours later. The men in my life have all disappointed me. I’ve been bought off with money and sex. And yet, whose to say that it’s not my fault as well? I can’t find worth in myself. I don’t know if I’m pretty or pretty stupid. I don’t know. At the time I sure as hell didn’t care. I just want to have that […]
very bad day at work… anyone up? just don’t want to deal with these stupid thoughts by myself or drown them in a bottle.
bad day at work. i know that everyone has a bad day but why do they have to be mean and take it out on those around them. anyways, i walked out, trying to avoid the situation. it wouldn’t have been as bad if it weren’t for that fact that as i was walking down the hall i overheard them saying my name. i slowed down just before i turned the corner and listened. they were making fun of my scars. i know it’s my fault for doing those things to myself. it’s my fault for placing them there, up and down my arms and […]
It is scary, that I use to find comfort in the idead of being able to die, well, no, kill myself. But now, I am able to find comfort that I am going to work, save up money, and just leave this city, this state, this country and move somewhere else. Just leave everything, all this mess. No one will be able to follow me. No one will be able to find me. I will start fresh, somewhere new. Somewhere else…
I hope everyone is doing good and find their freedom from pain, just not through death. Not through death.
Is this how it feels to have a nervous break down? I can’t be having one right? I mean, can a person who is having a nervous breakdown just sit down and write? I don’t think that’s possible. Maybe… I don’t know. I got more questions than answers. It’s been like that for the past week. I don’t think I can handle going through the “withdrawals†again. No, I don’t do drugs and I don’t judge those who do. See, I have panic attacks and the really bad ones, I call “withdrawalsâ€. They sure as hell feel like it. I go a while without sleeping, […]
Newer Posts