Author

king nothing

Can’t cope

by king nothing 7/5/2016

written by king nothing

I’m really struggling to cope at the moment. My car’s MOT is literally up in 2 days. I have to get it sorted because I need my car. Yet, I can’t call a garage to book it in. I’m not scared or being wimpy. Every time I think about doing it, I feel paralysed. It is like there is a lump of asteroid in my throat, going down onto my chest and stopping me from breathing and swallowing.

I can’t stand the thought of going out, having to talk to people. I couldn’t even go shopping, I had to order it online. I’m good to go […]

7/5/2016 10 comments

Be careful what you wish for…

by king nothing 5/3/2016

written by king nothing

Please, can somebody help, even if it is just to talk? I’m at my wit’s end.

I’m no kid, I’m well old enough to remember the 80s. So, couple of years ago, I was getting on for that age when life begins (you know when I mean?) and thinking about being lonely. I’ve never dated anybody…hell, I’ve never done anything even most 13 year olds have done. Total level 1 noob at my age, ha.

Sure, I’d had offers but I was a robot who couldn’t feel romantic love. I felt nothing for those who had offered, so I turned ’em down (in a nice way, I aint […]

5/3/2016 44 comments

Bluebells

by king nothing 4/28/2016

written by king nothing

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Aha, they appeared! Here are my bluebells.

4/28/2016 8 comments

I love my bed

by king nothing 4/26/2016

written by king nothing

My bed is warm and safe. I like to be in bed because then I can hide away from the world.

I can dream and do all the things in my dreams that are virtually impossible (at least at the moment) in real life.

My cat sleeps on me and comforts me. I can play my 3DS and get lost in computer game worlds.

Sometimes, I get anxious and scared if I’m not in bed. I feel guilty because I feel as if I am wasting my life. But I don’t get any pleasure in going out where I live. It reminds me too much of the horrible […]

4/26/2016 12 comments

Thank you

by king nothing 4/21/2016

written by king nothing

Just a post to say thank you to the awesome dudes/girls who replied to my first post and helped me out. I am truly grateful that you cared enough to reply and offer me support and sympathy. And especially for not preaching the feel good bullshit that is on 99% of help sites online.

I kind of feel as if I’ve hit a point in life, as if I am waking up to who I really am. It is terrifying but I have to be me. No matter how I am on the outside, my soul and brain are still me. It’s time for me to […]

4/21/2016 7 comments

If life was a computer game, I’d hit the reset swicth

by king nothing 4/20/2016

written by king nothing

I am sick of my life. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is my cat. I have promised I won’t leave him.

I am trapped in a life that I never chose for myself. There is no way out. I’m tired of carrying on, day after week after year, with no hope for a future.

I have tried everything I can think of. Everything I can realistically do. I’m not depressed. I’m just tired of my life.

Please, don’t anybody give me the usual bullshit that’s found on the internet. “It gets better” Really? It’s been shit for the past 28 years and *really* shit for […]

4/20/2016 12 comments