I am sick of my life. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is my cat. I have promised I won’t leave him.
I am trapped in a life that I never chose for myself. There is no way out. I’m tired of carrying on, day after week after year, with no hope for a future.
I have tried everything I can think of. Everything I can realistically do. I’m not depressed. I’m just tired of my life.
Please, don’t anybody give me the usual bullshit that’s found on the internet. “It gets better” Really? It’s been shit for the past 28 years and *really* shit for the past 20.
I’m no wimp, I can tough out most stuff. But after all this time, I’m starting to wear thin. Too much pain. Too much grey, dull, weariness. I don’t want to go on existing in this hopeless prison. With a fake smile on my face, pretending I am coping.