Author

kthxbai2u

I am 26, and have been living with Depression (later catagorized as major depressive disorder), Social Anxiety Disorder, and ADD my entire life. I have no friends (okay, 1 or 2 or so), and I do not socialize. It's as if I was left behind in school... Read my story "Left Behind" when I am done publishing it to find out more about S.A.D. and how it was more than likely caused in grade school.

I lost my last possible chance at happiness

by kthxbai2u 8/15/2012

written by kthxbai2u

After all the bullshit, the hospital, etc. I felt no more ‘better’ than I did before all of that crap (read my other posts to find the other shit I have been going through). I actually feel much much worse than before (this post explains most of it).

I was trying to find just one reason to stay alive, and figured I could make one with my XGF. I figured we could try things again. I figured I could stay permanently, and make the kid’s life better. Now that she has no chance, the poor kid will go through “father” after “father” after “father”. She claims […]

8/15/2012 1 comment

I was just locked up…

by kthxbai2u 8/14/2012

written by kthxbai2u

Recently, I went for a visit to my psychiatrist and after I had plans to go visit my xgf afterwords. You will never guess what happened…

He decided he does not want to play “russian roulette” with my life… I concur, I would like to try and win that game. Anyways, so he asks me how I would feel about staying at the hospital for a bit… I said I would rather not. He then said he was going to take me for a walk around and show me the place (mental health ward). So he shows me around, and next thing I know I am […]

8/14/2012 6 comments

Thinking about it again…

by kthxbai2u 7/30/2012

written by kthxbai2u

I seem to have screwed up by wanting time to myself….

Anyways… I feel like shits all going down hill…. I just got a bill in the mail. A quick recap, I have had a credit company call me, my brother piss me off just by waking up and watching tv (not his fault, just odd reaction), I thought I lost a friend, and then when I needed alone time and came back, looks like the friend is now ignoring me…

And now I am being told im not being ignored…

I am just too fucking confused…

I hate this, today is the shittiest.

I just want to go grow […]

7/30/2012 14 comments

I want to hack both my wrists up :(

by kthxbai2u 7/30/2012

written by kthxbai2u

Everything today has gone to shit….

My brother just waking up and going to watch tv somehow got on my nerves

I had a credit card company call and leave a message

I had a bike stolen a while ago which was given to me by my landlord and she just asked where it was…. (least of my problems)

I lost a friend and I don’t know why… I just woke up and all of the sudden shes unfriended me…. 🙁 this one hurts the most…

I ruined my plant – I was trying to change the cycle to make it bud, covering it with a garbage bag, and now […]

7/30/2012 19 comments

Saved by a skunk…

by kthxbai2u 7/29/2012

written by kthxbai2u

Just a little preface, I am a 26 year old male who works for the biggest telecommunications company in Canada (I cant say who….) as an Install/Repair technician. I am only mentioning this because it will tie together further on.

Well, I had this one REALLY bad day, and I had suicidal thoughts which would not go away. I wanted to die, just like most other days… I have this one way bridge near my house, and I figured it would be good to hang from. It is a one way bridge, and a few people I know would see me there… The bridge is for […]

7/29/2012 12 comments

Thanks for wasting my time (seriously…)

by kthxbai2u 7/29/2012

written by kthxbai2u

Thanks to SuicideProject, I have been wasting time writing about my problems for the past few hours, rather than cutting myself. Unfortunately I cant be on SP 24/7/365.

Note: I was being sarcasticÂ when I said “seriously”. Everyone knows that doing something OTHER than cutting is good… Even those who do cut.

7/29/2012 23 comments

Left Behind… – My struggles with Depression and Social Anxiety

by kthxbai2u 7/28/2012

written by kthxbai2u

This is a sad story of a now 26 year old man who was “Left Behind” by everyone. I am sorry, it is a bit long, but I respectfully put it all in one post. If you have these same problems, read this. Especially if you are currently in school.

For those of you who don’t know, I have Depression, Social Anxiety Disorder, and ADD. This story revolves around how I believe that the public schools I went to are responsible for plaguing me with this third disorder – whichÂ doesn’tÂ help the depression one bit.

Way back in grade school (jk-grade6) I was having issues with ADD. So […]

7/28/2012 2 comments

Been There, Tried That….

by kthxbai2u 7/28/2012

written by kthxbai2u

I did have a different title – which was funny – but I forgot. Oh well.

My name is “kthx” (for privacy reasons). I am a 26 year old Male, plagued with three conditions (that we know of so far) which are Major Depressive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and A.D.D. (ADHD minus the hyper component). I was diagnosed with the ADD and depression as a child. I have lived ever since then in a depressed state. I always have a low mood (dysthymia), and things never seem to work out for me.

I have been through so many psychiatrists and psychologists officesÂ throughoutÂ my life and not one of […]

7/28/2012 0 comment