Author

lifekilledthelifeinme

Born to Suffer.

by lifekilledthelifeinme 8/12/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

Maybe I signed my life away before I was born. Maybe we were meant to suffer. Maybe suffering is our best friend. What is Happiness? What is Peace? When did I become so mentally wounded. Wounded by thoughts, wounded by anxieties, wounded by depression, even wounded by mass paranoia. Maybe I’m skitzo, I invited it in didn’t I. I invited it all in. Surrounded by suffering, when will it end.

I had a dream I was thrown into an abyss, heard the Devils voice and pleaded mercy to God. Where is God? Why does life happen the way it does. What’s the purpose of it […]

8/12/2013 5 comments

Scientific Mind.

by lifekilledthelifeinme 8/6/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

I hate having a scientific mind, it’s like I can’t have a normal life because I’m thinking of things along the lines of “I feel like we are made of nothing, the whole concept of how we live life and how we sleep is unexplainably weird. We have eyes, mouths and ears.. We are walking limps.” It all sounds funny but it gives me this really nasty hopeless feeling. Trapped in my mind kinda thing. I wish I could think what normal people think but I’ve bypassed that mentality long ago. I’m living for my family and boyfriend in whom I love dearly. […]

8/6/2013 2 comments

Uhhh.

by lifekilledthelifeinme 7/28/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

So apparently I should be doing something with my life. Yeah, cause chasing after the wind makes perfect sense. Work a job I don’t wanna work at and make money that I could really care less about. This life is chasing after false hopes and dreams. Why are we even here? I don’t get it. Apparently to live this human experience I suppose. But there’s nothing that the world has to offer me. I don’t care about anything. I’m just accustomed to waking up, eating, taking a shit and repeat. Play some candy crush and drown myself in music, that’s life for me. […]

7/28/2013 0 comment

Here we go again >.<

by lifekilledthelifeinme 7/27/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

I don’t know what to do. I’m writing this and it’s all so sketchy. There are days I’m not paranoid and then there are days where I question if I should trust the world and my loved ones. I’m just a fucked up statement of life. I hate life and everything it consists of. I don’t wanna see the sun shining and the clouds passing by. I don’t wanna see the grass and the food we eat that in the majority is micro-processed. I feel so burdened with my thoughts, for they consume me entirely. I am not me anymore, I am a […]

7/27/2013 7 comments

P A R A N O i D

by lifekilledthelifeinme 7/19/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

Omg, like I’m mad paranoid. I’m paranoid to even be writing this right now. I feel like everyone is against me. Like my life is the Truman Show. I struggle and misery is my best friend, it’s like after awhile you enjoy the pain. A sort of frenzy begins to happen. I’m just really in a dark place. I feel like music is talking to me and sending me subliminals from my boyfriend. This happened before with someone else I cared for. It’s like I’m getting all these subliminals and signs from everything. I’m always freaking out and no one knows. No one […]

7/19/2013 8 comments

There’s no magic, there’s nothing.

by lifekilledthelifeinme 7/17/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

we think we are superior than animals, we are animals ourselves. our houses made of wood and rocks. that’s all we are, a speck, waiting to go back to dust. that’s all we are. why experience this life at all? what gives. it’s sad to think I used to believe in magic, magic don’t exist. happiness don’t exist. life is just some big joke, one big mistake. my thoughts are the cause of my very depression and anxiety. I envy the dead.

7/17/2013 3 comments

I hate my mind so bad, it makes me suicidal.

by lifekilledthelifeinme 7/11/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

Like I never thought I’d be the one to be suicidal but I can’t stand my reality and the thoughts I have. It’s really really agonizing and frustrating. Like I think of things that shouldn’t even matter. Like why am I human and why do I have to be human and see other humans all the time. Like humans are stupid and weird. I like weird but its unexplainable. I just feel very very repulsed as a human. I can’t stand it, makes me wanna kill myself everyday but I don’t cause I gotta live for my family and boyfriend. I also can’t […]

7/11/2013 5 comments

Life has killed the life in me.

by lifekilledthelifeinme 7/10/2013

written by lifekilledthelifeinme

I’m writing here to tell you guys how I feel. As one of the posts I read, this person implied that he/she isn’t suffering from anything dramatic such as a traumatic experience, death of loved ones, problems in relationships or family matters. I myself could say the same. Anyone would want a simple life like mine but guess what.. Even I’m suffering. I’m suffering in a way that doesn’t make sense at all. I think of contemplating suicide, some days more than others. Why? Because of these horrific and nightmarish thoughts I have. I can’t stand the fact of knowing we are like […]

7/10/2013 3 comments