It makes me sad that I can’t stand being around my own family often. I can’t stand their negativity. They’re never in a good mood. They say I’m just being super sensitive and maybe I am but anyone else would be able to feel their negative vibes. I run away from them often. Anytime I sense a negative situation unfolding I run away from them. I often just go on long drives to get away from it all but its expensive after a while. I believe each one of my family members have some deep insecurities that they don’t want to deal with so they […]
Not one is left. I don’t know where to go from here. My dad has unconsciously made this household anti-social. All my brothers refuse to talk with one another all because my father couldn’t let go of his anger. I’m the only one who has escaped his tight manipulative grip over my mind. He holds me and my brothers back from our true potential more than anyone else. In his anger he has made his sons afraid of him. This is the truth. I am afraid of my father. His anger towards me shakes my world unlike any earthquake. That is why I must leave […]
How do you think its gonna turn out? I’m in college right now but its a small community college. Is it worth trying? I don’t desperately need friends but it would be nice to have a real one for a change. I keep attracting fake friends who only want to drink and get high all day everyday. They don’t have any goals except getting faded and they exhaust my drive. My last “friend” manipulated me, and only got me in trouble whenever we hung out. I stopped hanging out with him.
I must admit that I enjoyed the experience. As weird as that sounds, it’s true. I felt like I was non-existent for a while before I awoke again. And I was okay with that. It was like a better version of sleep. I knew how non-existent I felt when I woke up. It’s strange but I remember the feeling or rather the inability to feel anything. Before I woke up i saw a bright white flash like a Nintendo being reset. When I woke up I was very cold and it felt like my whole body was numb. My muscular system wasn’t working very well. […]
wow….growing up in a foreign family in the US really can make you socially awkward. I shook hands with a new coworker today and he said “whoah!…lets try that again”. So I gave a firmer handshake the second time in which he replied “that’s better! ” I guess handshakes are a really big deal here in the US and probably anywhere else from what I’ve researched so if that’s the case then I will start giving firmer handshakes. I’ll show them that although I may be somewhat socially awkward, I can still sell furniture just as good as them if not better. This situation happened […]
My best friend just got mad at me for not hanging out with him today. He said he wanted to hang out at the mall. I was planning on doing so but I ended up falling asleep due to the fact that we had been drinking last night until the early morning today. I was actually gonna go but I didn’t because I passed out on my bed and slept for 10-11 hours. During this time he had attempted to call me but I never heard my phone ring due to the fact that my earbuds were connected to my phone at the time so […]
I don’t know if “enjoy” is the right word to use. I kind of felt at peace but not really at the same time. I don’t know but a part of me kind of enjoyed fainting. It felt like I had died. And it felt like I was suddenly non existent. All the fears and anxieties were gone for what felt like a short second. I then saw a bright white flash like someone just hit reset on the Nintendo. I woke up on the floor in an awkward position. In those short waking moments it felt like I was lost. I didn’t really know […]
I wonder why I keep hanging out with this friend of mine…he’s cool for the most part but he can be quite immature. He tries acting like a tough guy but it makes him look stupid when he overreacts to things that typically wouldn’t piss someone off that bad. He didn’t grow up with a dad so he exaggerates the manliness thing to a higher degree than necessary. He keeps getting in trouble for stupid s***. When he gets mad he starts breaking s*** and making a mess. I’ve personally never pissed him off cuz I’m really laid back. I get embarrassed to be seen […]
I used to think I was afraid of death and maybe I was years ago. But I recently found some strange spots on my skin and I thought I had cancer. I actually don’t have cancer. It turns out that its actually just some rash or fungus. Its still something I should take care of ASAP but a couple weeks ago I thought I was gonna die. I really thought that I had cancer and that I was gonna die soon. One thing I noticed was how hard it was for me to shed a tear. It actually took lots of effort to shed a […]
It had been a while since I’ve allowed myself to resurface until tonight. It happens every once in a while. There comes a point where I desperately want to feel it again despite the fact that I live in a world full of evil. I did just that tonight. I allowed myself to be this way tonight. I remembered my past and I didn’t focus too much on the negatives of the past. I remembered what my mind was like back then. I remember not knowing many realities. At the time I still hadn’t discovered what violence really looked like. I didn’t know […]
I wish I never discovered porn. It’s destroying my life. I can see how it’s kinda f***ed up…..yet I allow myself to watch it when I’m stressed. I’m not even religious and I know how damaging it can be. If you take religion out of the picture your left with basic human morals. And if you take that out then I don’t know what you are. I know this is a very controversial topic but f*** it. I’m gonna admit the truth on how I feel about this….after all it affects all of us in different and similar ways. For me….it makes me lose confidence […]
I refuse to die at the moment when all of humanity is doomed. I refuse to die in a shocked crowd as we watch bright lights detonate all around us. I refuse to see the look of hopelessness, regret and fear in the faces of fellow brothers, sisters, and all other life as we await our final moments before the unimaginable pain of hell on earth is unleashed unto us. I deserve to die but I don’t want to see these images with my own eyes the moment I die. I want to die a peaceful death. So if I see a bright flash in the sky one […]
I just wanted to say that if you’re someone who’s going through a really tough time right now…..don’t give up on life. Really… just don’t. Stay alive……..Also stop getting so caught up with the media. Stop staring at the screen so much. And give your ears a break with those ear buds and those big bulky headphones. There’s someone out there making a profit off your inner sadness with those things. Don’t get me wrong ….music is awesome but for those of you who use it as a crutch to get through your day need to stop doing that. Stop using that crutch and start […]
I think I’m going down a dark path again…………..Just when things seemed like they were gonna get better…..F***!!!…..this always happens. One problem ends and then another arises, one problem ends and then another arises!. It’s an endless cycle. I wish I could know that things were gonna get better but I just can’t see it. All I see are the 4 walls and the ceiling of my apartment everyday; nothing else besides that and school; which is barely any different. I just want something to change. The only time that I really get to truly enjoy myself is when I’m at lunch with these five other […]
Love is beautiful. It gives you a reason to live. Just go out there and give….. It feels awesome.
My dad is always getting pissed off all day. I think he’s just really stressed all the time. And I get that but he lets his anger show all the time (a little too much for my taste) Anyways so I decided to type this up right now because I just recently witnessed my dad’s abusive parenting?(I don’t know if it was) My dad just got done screaming at my little brother for having bad grades. Not only did he scream at him but he also grabbed him tightly by the arms like he was some kind of dummy and started shaking him violently while […]
So me and my dad don’t get along very well…..we never have. I love him and he loves me but unfortunately I inherited too many of my mom’s genes……too many for him I guess. We’ve never really had time to bond, especially not in a family of 7 or what once used to be a family of 7……Don’t worry, nobody died. My parents just got divorced a couple years back that’s all. But anyways the point is me and my father are 2 completely different people. Sure I’ve got some of his genes in me but not enough to show. I’m a really calm, easygoing […]
It gives you an opportunity to overcome a challenge that will only make you stronger if you allow it to.
It teaches you that it’s impossible to please everybody in this world.
It allows you to realize what others feel when they get rejected.
I got attacked with lots of rejection today but……I’m proud to say that it did not attack my happiness……Today was a great day.
“Don’t let rejection steal your happiness”
My dad drives me insane, and I don’t think I can take it anymore. That’s why I want to run away. My dad has really bad anger problems and their only getting worst as he gets older. He yells at me everyday for the smallest problems in the world. And when I say everyday, I mean everyday …..that is unless I’m with my mom but she can be too careless. And when my dad gets really mad at me he gets in my face and screams really loud as if he were the incredible hulk. Sometimes he hits me really hard on the side of […]
I’m tired of religious groups going out and trying to make people believe in what they want them to believe. Especially the Mormons in my neighborhood. They think they can just come into my house and tell my family what’s right and what’s wrong. They think that they can just tell us a couple lame stories(or scriptures) and make us believe in what they believe. And they may have gotten my family to believe that but they’ll never do the same to me. I’ve got my own beliefs and as long as they aren’t hurting anyone then I’m not changing them. I’m just sicken tired […]