I don’t need a thing, and i don’t need nothing.
I don’t need grammar, and i don’t want confusion.
I don’t need to sleep, and I don’t need to be awake.
I don’t need your prejudices, and i dont want your praise.
I don’t need money, and i dont need poverty.
I don’t need wealth, and I don’t want the privileges that come with it.
I don’t need community, and I don’t need isolation.
I don’t need love, and i don’t want hate.
I don’t need your Sunday passion plays, and I don’t need your political Mondays.
I don’t want to have my cake if […]
Angry gets shit done.
That’s my new motto.
Why is everything always a complicated disaster everywhere?
Screw it. Withdrawal jitters finally gone today.
I had a pretty bad day Thursday night. Last night of the week for me. I only put in 8hrs but by midnight I was having a full-on breakdown from stress/wd jitters/nausea/everything else. Texted some rambly awful crap to my roommate and, when quitting time came around, I just started walking towards home. Roommate drove into the parking lot after passing me on the road (didn’t see me), then txt’d me asking where I was. I just kept walking. She found me about half an hour later. She’s spent the last few nights hanging out with me making […]
I’ve decided I need to stop talking / typing / thinking / etc. It’s just plain bad. I put my foot in my mouth so much that all I can taste are nasty dirty socks. Especially when I’m tired and have been pulling loads of 12’s and got loaded up with modafinil to plow through it. I took too many last night and now I won’t sleep today, and I’ll do it all again tonight. And our lead is on medical leave, so I’m in charge of running this stupid freaking electric furnace the size of a house while coordinating our team and managing production. […]
But if I am wrong
In judgment I stand
I will not repent
‘Cos I don’t give a damn
You can send me to hell
With the rest of my friends
The alarm is already blaring.
None of it matters to me very much. I’ve reached a point of numbness and confoundedness that has left me adrift and unsure why I was so concerned about anything. I’ll just work some 12hr shifts forever until I can afford to buy some crap I don’t need and cat toys. Why worry? Everybody dies eventually. There’s not enough time to spend being upset over stupid nonsense that isn’t worth the time or energy in the first place.
…and the ammo. Kthnx.
They’re always the worst kind. Well, I’m doing my best to bust up the routine, smash all the edges and see where all the pieces land. I usually feel more human when I’m in a fresh mold with fresh possibilities. The trick is to keep the momentum going. I’ve been there before, got some progress along the path in front of me, but I always seem to wind up in a ditch because of something I’d rather not loose or a feeling I’d really like to get back. Life doesn’t work like that. I have to keep telling myself that the only way out of […]
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
Me and God may not see eye to eye, but I totally get what the old sage was on about in this passage. I can understand that sentiment so well it makes me nauseous.
Do you know how hard it is to meet new people these days? It’s next to impossible, especially if you’re a guy. Try online dating sites? Women get bombarded with messages at a ratio of like 100:1. Good luck breaking through that wall.
So I live with this chick – roommate, I have a thing for her. Her boyfriend did live here, but he choked her out to the point she nearly passed out and I escorted him out myself.
About eight months later, she’s still seeing him, still getting routinely battered by him, and even despite knowing I like her.. okay, you’ve probably heard […]
Do you delve deep into yourself to find out who you truly are, or do you delve deep into your dreams to create an idea that you call yourself?
It’s all a bunch of words. Words, words, words. It’s amazing how little people say so much of the time. Have you ever spent time around people who compulsively jabber? It’s like they need to fill in all the empty space with meaningless noise, as if they’re terrified that they might stop existing if they don’t. Or that you’ll forget about them. My team lead at work is like that. I can only play the receiving […]
I have this feeling like I’m waiting for something. It’s been there so long that I can’t recall what it is. Will I know it when it happens, when it arrives? Or will it pass by like anything else? It’s a feeling that never connects with anything. It strives for itself, to justify its own presence. And it never goes away. Things could be looking up, I could feel a little hopeful, but it’s always there nagging me about nothing, for no reason. It’s in a dark corner counting the seconds as they pass by in a mechanical haze. It’s been over 35 years. That’s […]
…of stupid world. Can I exchange it for different world?
Please wait for a representative to become available.
*elevator music*
Just passing the time.
They say hi to all the SP people.
Why is it that every single thing that ever happens in life is just a rehash of things that have previously happened, and I’m always surprised by it? Wow, I didn’t expect that to happen. Oh-well, pass the booze. I’m gonna be here for a while, I bet.
It seems like this thing we call society is made up of a vague impression of what everyone around us values, and how they think things ought to be, or how they think things are. I don’t like talking about society because it feels like I’m assaulting all the people who don’t fit into whatever generalization I’m thinking about, and reinforcing the reasoning of the people who do fit into that generalization. And I would never want to reinforce bad qualities in people who have them. I also don’t want to tell anyone what they should think or how they should feel about something according […]
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