if i cant find a job, i will end up homeless eventually. i dont want that. i went to college. i want to work, and have a life. i dont want to end up homeless. i want a job, so i can afford to see doctors about my little health issue (that is easily fixable if one has just a little money). there isno reason why i should end up homeless, but it seems that is what is going to happen eventually. i have no siblings, and my cousins all have thier own families. im scared to die, im scared of death. im also terrified […]
I love those two so much. they are why im here. i dont have many people and its a cold world out there. i cant find a job, and im tired of this. i miss my friends on this site. i dont want to die. but, hey, at least i wont grow old. i love u all.
hey ya’ll. i know what meds i need. i just cant afford them. I dont wanna be homeless, but it very possibly might end up that way. Im so close to getting healthy, oh well. I will continue to fight to find decent employment and to get my own place (through HUD or section 8 or something). I miss my friends on this site? Where did you all go?
i realized i am not alone with my slightly suicidal feelings, loneliness, and sadness. If worst comes to worst and there is no afterlife, at least there is peace at the end right? And if there is a heaven, I think God would open his arms after us suffering so greatly. its rough, but hey, thats the truth. last year i dealt with some pretty rough stuff, and i hope it may get better. I learned alot about my illness, and realize there are many others out there with things, and are too poor to have them fixed. i feel better than i did last […]
been a while since i been here. hope everyone is doing ok, or at least staying alive. I hate having suicidal thoughts…but here they are tonight, first time in a while. im quite lonley, and i need a better job, or my gf might leave me. I already only have one friend. crap, im scared of being homeless,in jail, or dead. maybe as a 29 year old black male without a good job (although very educated) i have just seen all the good i will ever see in life? maybe…i should just take the easy way out. i hope this mood passes quickly.
beautiful song.
the pasts haunts me, even more than my future haunts me. it hurts to remember how happy hopeful, and loved i felt. before i felt different and faced my depression. the bipolar. my failures my health problems. the judgement of others. it hurts, to know my future. i dont know. im trying to live. but if i cant do this last job, im so outta here. i would be better as a memory than what ive become. i am so upset i dont have an appetite. i wont put a new post here or awhile, unless i get fired from this job. then its one […]
im being hopeful for this sucky job at wal mart (not what i went to college for). its my last chance to provide for my family, get away from my my folks (blood family) and pay through school. if this doesnt go well, well, yknow.
i confided in 3 people about thinking of hurting myself, and they all judged me and abandoned me. i can never tell anyone about these feelings ever again i see. people always judge me. i lost friends and its like i never had that many friends at first. i wish i never told anyone, but just killed myself. it hurts deeply.
i think i have sleep apnea. im excited, cause if i do, i might be able to get my life back! even though im frustrated that i took medicine that i didnt need,and they damaged my body, but that might be reversible. i hope this works. i need it too. its either this or suicide….
and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pK2WJd5bXFg
just check em out
i cant believe my life is turning out this way. i gotta stop it. for the love of all that is good is there ANYTHING i can do to help my family? if not….i may just have to pack it in, cause there wont be any more reason to live.
Despite my best efforts, i think ive become my father. when i look at my son, i get torn up inside because he will feel the same way about me that i do my father. i love him, but he is homeless, and will likely stay that way. he has mental illness, though he will never admit it. I have mental illness and health issues. im black, and i kinda wish i wasnt. i cant bare to see my family witness me become homeless too. im trying not be, to find and hold down a job, just like my father is trying to get a […]
my life is crap. it will always be. i have bipolar disorder. i will always have it. why should i keep going? im not even sad right now, im just being honest. I have two people who im living for, my gf and my son. I cant provide for them because of my issues right now, plus horrible economy. im poor, and black. i have health problems. i couldnt find love if my gf left me, which she might. I have 1 other friend. I live with my folks, and my family is sick just like me. Im thinking of killing myself, and writing a […]
it wont get better. my life is ruined and over. i will always be sick. i might exit today. if i work up the nerve. i just miht. no bs.
i posted earlier. if i dont get my own place soon, i will either go to a homeless shelter, blow my brains out, or end up committing homicide to the woman who gave birth to me. wont post again for a while (hopefully never lol)
i hope this week i really do it. to all on this website who have encouraged me: thank you so much. I will probably wuss out and be here again next week 😛 If for some reason i actually do it, i love u all, and i hope to see you all in heaven.
i hurt today very badly. but im trying to live. im trying to live.
thinking of ending it. i hope this passes
I went to college and did well despite being bipolar. I studied hard. Just to find out i cant get a decent job, or hold it down. Im now a loser. im going to die soon. no help is coming. suicide is my only option. my only option. my only option. i cant live with this shame anymore.
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