PainNlife

Not sure if some of the people here are depressed because they have fucked up lives…

Or

If they are depressed that life isn’t perfect for them…

Reading some of the po–Reading a lot of the posts here will lead you to ask the same thing….and believe the latter…

Sometimes when I reminisce about the past I tend to not include bad memories….but that doesn’t mean I don’t remember them..growing up I had a very dysfunctional family and I’ll admit some of the things I did were deserving of punishment but sometimes you go too far …

I remember in 9th grade….me and my cousin got busted for report card fraud….yup, we were cunning little bastards. You see we came up with a scheme …a very….good scheme….we would copy the report card right? so you have 2 copies…take some scotch tape and scissors and cut out any “A’s” or “B’s” and then cover the bad grades […]

Hmmm….I think about how religion keeps insisting that god needs money and that he is so interested in tax free organizations …. So God can collect but he can’t contribute towards the national debt? ….Jesus saves though right?…yeah saving your fucking tithes for his holy mansion because he not paying Uncle Sam shit!! …

I’m just saying if YOU believe in god why can’t you keep it to yourself? God has no need for money (when I say “God” let me be clear this is in reference to the Christian belief this is NOT me indicating a belief in anything but for the purpose of discussion […]

Maybe life is just worth 50%….we say its more than that to hype the sanctity and value of it….but what if it’s really just 50%?….If you are alive and healthy then wouldn’t that be a good thing? Of Course that is just depending on those 2 things….we are excluding the bad things but if we do shouldn’t the fact that you are alive and healthy be a good thing?….50% of your total existence should be just being alive ….the other 50% would be bad things and the suffering we endure in life…. So maybe societies expectation of a good life is not reasonable because if […]

I’ve said many times on here that I would NEVER have children….but I know if I did I would be the perfect parent….how do I know this you ask? because I would only have one rule….what kid or teenager wouldn’t love to live in a home with only one rule?…..and that sole rule would be….”if it doesn’t hurt anybody else its okay”….meaning if you do something to yourself…okay fine you only hurt yourself…but if you  aren’t doing anything to hurt anybody else then its allowed….that would be the only rule in my household because it encompasses everything that is good there is no possible way […]

Today…. I had a thought. A very interesting thought…. I was astonished at how long I never put it together before but its all fogged up by bullshit. So…you can’t really see whats going on….

On this site…if you stick around long enough…you’ll see religious debates recurring frequently….and you’ll listen to people argue back and forth about whichever is right. The main battle being “Christians VS Atheist”. I listen to both sides and I realize both sides are right but wrong at the same time. Like why can’t evolution and the BBT be true and you just say “God” put it in motion?…

Religion fogs up the […]

You’ll find on this site people who pride themselves over being in a “worse” situation than you….They will tell you that as if it is a badge of honor and automatically is a “co-sign” of sorts to anything they say… You’ll see many people judge others and criticize them about the reason they want to kill themselves and nothing is inherently wrong with this because sometimes we do need a different POV to maybe think about things differently but you’ll have people who will feel validated and sort of “get off” when they see someone contemplating suicide over a reason or reasons they deem to […]

You see how this bird puts his head in the sand as if that does anything to alter the world around him? This is pretty much how I feel when I stay locked in my room and refuse to go outside…it doesn’t change the world…pretending it doesn’t exist means nothing….it goes on….whether you bury your head in the sand or not.

Why are parents so happy at the birth of a newborn?

They didn’t bring a child into a loving good caring wonderful world….they basically sentenced a new innocent being to a life of strife and turmoil and ultimately a death sentence….and sure some will say “but not everybody life is bad” I never said it was….but this world is bad….and somewhere along the line it will reveal itself to be bad to them…. if I had a child I would feel so guilty….I know this life is shit….I know this world is shit….so why would I willingly bring another person into it to be subjected to […]

I looked at an old picture of myself and I feel like I was looking at someone that was deceased….I am not the same guy as in the photo….don’t think the same, don’t look the same, don’t feel the same…..nothing is the same…. I feel like that picture could have been an obituary….do you guys ever feel like that when you look at really old pictures?

Oddly named post since we are well beyond Halloween but nonetheless a suitable title ….

Today I received a sample of ******** from a possible source free of charge so that he could prove that he is legit. Problem is I have no way of testing it without risking possible harm to myself as I am the only test subject I have. I have no money to buy a 245$ kit from Exit international and if this isn’t N but something poisonous and painful my plans will be thwarted. Does anybody know of anyway that I could test my sample?

Trick or Treat….

Lets hope this is a […]

Maybe its just the Fall…maybe its just the upcoming holidays….who knows….but I am really getting sick of this site….I know I know I can just leave if I felt that way but then again it isn’t the site itself that disgusts me….its all this bullshit being posted lately….Idiots looking for dates, Help with Math homework, People claiming depression over cell phones, People making up outrageous and outlandish “Resurrection” bullshit, people faking their death for laughs, Morons posting shit about steps to correct life  etc etc like its becoming a cesspool of bullshit….I know people can post whatever and that’s fine but that doesn’t mean I […]

I had been planning my suicide for months….

Researching methods…

Throwing away my possessions and clothes…

Writing my note…

Coming up with a good plan…

Then the day slowly rolled around and the closer it got… The more unsure I became….It was easy to tell myself in June that I would die in November….It liberated me from all my worries about the future… “knowing” I was going to die… I didn’t even attempt it…My heart wasn’t in it like last time….if I had tried to do it it would have been half assed and insincere…. I’m really angry with myself and I feel like an Idiot….All this fucking time WASTED […]

When I first came here I did a post about this topic….but recently while in a Chat Room the debate was started up on if money could solve everything….My stance was that it couldn’t because some problems can’t be solved by money alone….others proclaimed that money would allow you to buy happiness in the form of material goods and great experiences….They brought up some good points so…

So I’ll ask this…

If you were given a 100 million dollars tomorrow….would your problems be solved? would you be able to obtain some form of happiness? would you prefer to live? would your depression vanish?

A highly publicized suicide of an attractive or talented person is commonly greeted with the sentiment, “what a waste!” The substance that is wasted may be named as talent, intelligence, beauty, or life itself, or may not be named. But, whatever is “wasted,” is it fair to blame a suicide for “wasting” it?

“Waste,” in this sense, connotes an immoral misuse of resources that might have been better directed elsewhere. It is wrong to misuse or fail to use scarce resources, because they might be better used by others. Wasting may often involve depriving someone else of the resource that is wasted.

The problem with describing suicide […]

Disclaimer: This is an article that I found on another website wandering around the internet.  I did not write any of the words but I found this to be very interesting….so I thought I’d share it here. 

I have been unlucky enough to be the guest of two different psychiatric hospitals. In addition, I have worked in nine psychiatric hospitals in a professional capacity. Most people, even professional psychiatrists, have a rather naive view of what happens in a mental hospital. Private psychiatrists who spend most of their time treating private patients for depression and anxiety may have very little experience with a real […]

It has been brought to my attention that the mere mention of positivity on SP brings harsh and swift opposition. I notice that sometimes and I want to share my thoughts…

I think positivity needs to be applied in moderation. A little bit at a time…. Too much and it kills the effect because it makes it seem unrealistic and kind of condescending….For example….Instead of bombarding people with numerous reasons about how good life is how special it is etc….you could simply say something like “it isn’t all bad” and leave it at that….but if you go onto specifically name all or many reasons why life […]