Was drunk out of my mind last night…it was another one of my cowardly acts to try and escape reality for a couple of hours.
But I can’t get away from the thought of suicide. In a drunken state I decided to open up to a really good friend, I just dumped everything on her. She is the only person that knows Im suicidal.
I feel so guilty for dumping all my problems on her. She doesn’t deserve it. I didn’t mean to make her cry. I didn’t mean to cry. why was I so heartless?
I’m so stupid!! I don’t want her to feel guilty when […]
I went back to school today, it was the worst couple of hours ever! Was hoping for a fresh start but kept getting dirty looks from people. I feel insecure as it is. I can’t stand the way I am. I hate myself I don’t need someone else to tell me what a fuck up I am. Thought I would have a fresh start with people I considered friends instead I was greeted with a “fuck you!” and someone else shaking their head at me. The thought that kept running through my mind was ‘what am I doing here? Why didn’t I just end it […]
Why did you bring me back? I had finally succeeded. I was dead, but you brought me back!
Society forces me to thank you, but I hate you inside. To them you’re a hero, but to me you’re the one who brought me back to a life of pain and missery.
You should have known that this place is not for me! With every breath and every compression on my chest you should have noticed the scars on my wrist screaming at your to stop…stop trying to bring me back!
You heard my cries once I was back…you heard me cry out “WHY….why would you […]
On wednesday night I went on a wild night of drinking with friends, I was feeling pretty down from all of the shit that has been going on in my life. I just kept drinking, I couldn’t stop!I drank so much that I passed out and my heart stopped. Someone revived me but then it stopped again. Why couldn’t that person realise this was how it was meant to be. I’ve been trying for such a long time to leave, leave all of this pain behind and I managed to do that, but here I am feeling worse than ever.
I lost all faith I […]
Welldone to all those people who have made my life a living hell.
You did it, you accomplished your goal and broke my spirit. You did this to me so now you can bask in the glory of your accomplishment!
Go on, live your life while I perish behind these walls that Ive built all because of you.
I hope you sleep well at night, because I don’t. Your words follow me to bed and replay over and over and over again in my mind as I shut my eyes and hold my tears, anger and frustration back.
Go on, keep talking, you think I can’t hear what […]
I have been suicidal for a very long time, and the thought of me dying and leaving all this pain behind is constantly on my mind. But when ever im with a friend or family member I think about how that person will be affected by my death. Im going through this hard time but never ever ever would I want to cast my pain onto someone else. It’s easy to say no one cares or that I won’t be missed but I’m only fooling myself. Everytime I meet someone new I know that person will be affected in some way by my death. […]
There are 7 billion people in the world, yet I feel so alone 🙁
I thought today was THE day. but I was wrong …again .I got my rope ready and decided to hang myself. I was dangling for a while with tears rolling down my face and the constant sound of me gagging. The pain was horrific! I started shaking and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. My rope had snapped! WHY THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN AGAIN. I was so close, I could feel myself drifting off into a better place. But no! life has to screw me over again and again. Why can’t I just leave. Im tired of […]
I wish I had a moment where I said “i’m ok” and someone looked at me with open arms and said “I know you’re not” as they hugged me.
I wish I had a moment where I looked across a room and saw someone smiling at me.
I wish I had a moment where someone was there to wipe my tears away.
I wish there was a moment where I could talk to someone and not worry if I could trust them.
I wish I had a moment where someone stood up for me.
I wish I had a moment where someone ran across a room just to hug me.
I […]
I’ve had it! By the end of the day I’ll be in a place that is much better than this hell hole. I’ve tried to hold on but people keep kicking me when I’m down. Today was the final blow. So now I can finally say “goodbye cruel world”.
Im sitting here with all these thoughts going through my head….all these thoughts are depressing, heartbreaking, they make me angry and make me hate life even more.
Lately the only way I’ve been able to escape these thoughts is to go out drinking. Im only 15, but for those hours when Im drunk I forget about EVERYTHING!!! I’ve lost friends because of this but I am making new ones, they are what you would call the DODGY crowd.
It’s hard to stop because when Im sober up all those feelings hit me all at once and I feel so ashamed when I walk past poeple at […]
Its funny how my heart screams for help, yet my mouth says ” Im ok” out loud.
Its funny how I tried all my life to stay alive, but now I am trying to die.
Its funny how I walk around with a huge smile on my face that lights up the room, but inside me there is total darkness.
Its funny how I give people advice, yet I’m the one that needs all the help I can get.
Its funny that Im affraid of pain, but everyday I cut myself.
Its funny that people say “life gets better”, but infact its getting worse.
Its funny how the people that are […]
I’ve been seeing a psychologist lately. I was totally agianst it at first, but then I thought what the hell, life is crap already what else could go wrong. She told me that if she needed to she could have me admitted to a psych ward…WOAH! hold on! that would only make me feel shityer! I would have everyone breathing down my neck and I would be a lab rat that people just watch all day. I dont think I can talk to her anymore. she scares me and thats not how I want to feel as I went to her to feel comfortable and […]
I continue reading all these comments by people say that “life gets better”. I don’t know what their definition of BETTER is because for me life has become more of a shit hole. More people are leaving me as life goes on and soon I’ll be going through this ordeal all alone.
If life is so much better when your older, why are so many adults depressed, why do so many take their lives, why do so many run away? Yeah, I guess life isn’t that fucken great after all!!!
I don’t know who I am anymore. I sit all alone in my room in silence wondering what other people think of me. You see I’m like a chameleon, my personality changes when I’m with different types of people….one minute I’m a law abiding citizen that is happy and making jokes (this is an act as I’m falling apart inside) and the next minute I’m cussing, I’m out drinking and buying drugs.
It gets tiring putting on these different ‘masks’ and trying to impress everyone but the truth is I’m extremely afraid of being judged, thats why I hate going to the mall because […]
I feel so lost and I have no one to turn to. I can’t talk to friends about how I’m feeling because I know they are going to try and talk me out of ending my life. They’ll call me selfish, but they’re selfish as they can see that I’m not happy and I haven’t been happy for a couple of years now.
I’m in highschool and I thought I would have a fresh start at life, but boy was I wrong. I’m not the ‘over sensitive’ type and I don’t cry easily or atleast thats how it used to be. I cry everyday now […]
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