So my best friend told me i’m to negative and that my life would be better if i would just look on the bright side and stop putting myself down. So i looked on google and found a list of things to say to myself while looking in the mirror
I am beautiful.
I love myself.
I’m smart strong independent women
thats all i found.
but um I’m sitting in front of my mirror but i can’t say these things to myself. I either laugh my butt off or look away. Idk why. i guess i will have to look at my ugly face in […]
Latley been feeling like i need to cry. But no matter what i just cant. Somtimes crying helps. My world is crashing down around me an no matter what i cant cry. But i really need to….
I don’t really know what to do anymore. I’m done with the denial. I have Meniere’s disease (self diagnosed), I can’t hear from my right ear, I probably never will and there’s nothing anyone can do. The doctors tell me i’m fine, my friends say it will pass,and when i try to talk to my parents seriously about it they get mad and say my hearings going to come back. I’m tired of it. I want to be taken seriously damn it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. All I really can do is wait to get blood tests,wait to get a hearing […]
My mom and dad split when i was 4 because he was addicted to crack. I didn’t see him again til i was 10. Now he has a wife and step kids.i’m not important to him anymore. He lives in a huge house and he’s a successful psychiatric. But he’s to selfish to even pay for my insurance. So i have a disease that went untreated for 2 years. I am now permanently deaf in my right ear. and he doesn’t event know. Because he doesn’t call.
The only thing that’s making me feel any better right now is the song a trophy fathers trophy […]
Sometimes life gets so sickingly boring I find ways to leave it. I begin to obsess over things to get my mind of life. I obsess over anything from a band to a tv show. I even obsess over ideas. For example one day i was so bored i looked online for a specific jacket that a guy from a band i love wore in a music video. I spent the entire day finding this jacket. Then once i found it i realized it was already 4am. I hadn’t eaten the whole day. I hadn’t even left my room for anything but bathroom breaks. I […]
I have never been rich. There was never a time where my mom had money to throw away. We always have had just enough. But it has never been this bad. My mom has never really bothered me with financial problems. Usually if we are late on a bill or something she just finds a way to pay it. But its gotten to the point where there is no way. My step dad doesn’t work enough to pay for everything and my moms disability check barley pays 1 bill. Everyday something new is getting cut off. Now my mom is selling pot to pay the […]
I remember a time where i could cut and then go on about my day with a fake smile as if everything was all fine and dandy. Cutting use to hold me together. It used to keep me sane. But now no matter what i do, or how much blood is shed i just cant seem to even pretend to be happy.I feel like i will never experience true happiness.
I’m loosing hearing in my right ear due to something called Meniere’s disease. I haven’t been diagnosed yet but i have had symptoms of this disease for 2 years. I thought they where nothing and I eventually got used to it and ignored it. I treated it like if it was just normal. I would get dizzy and fall over,faint, hear ringing in my ear, get bad headaches, and a weird pressure in my ear. The dizziness was a regular kind of daily thing. The ear problems came 1 or 2 times a month. But when the ear pains would come everything else would get […]
I was talking to someone a couple of months ago threw a post of mine and she helped me out alot. I know her screen name but how do I find her so I can email her?
Seriously, think back to your teen years or if you are a teen think about it. Everything suck.For me it’s like no one listens,caring, or understands anything about me. I have like no friends so i bury all of my emotions deep down inside. I’m extremely socially awkward. I’m supper shy and it’s hard for me to make friends. I only have 2 friend and one has moved so far away that i will probably never see her again. I’m stuck in the poorest city in america and I really don’t belong here. I hate it so much that I isolate myself in cyber school […]
A few weeks ago I went to therapy and my therapist was giving me substitues for self harming. But i find her substitutes un-useful to me. She told me to snap a rubber band on my arm,write out why I’m upset,or talk to someone. The reason these methods don’t work is because if I use a rubber band I do it until I break skin and see blood which is pretty much the same as cutting or burning. I’m tired of writing out what I feel because I honestly don’t know what I’m upset about most of the time. I also really don’t have anyone […]
A friend of mine told me something exstremly offencive. She said” Depresssed people are kinda stupid like if you want to be happy then just put a smile on your face and stop moping around like if you have an uncorible deseise”. I need to know if that is how most people feel about depression beause that is not at all how i see it. My mother smoked cocain her entire life. She smoked until she litterlly lost the “happy part of her brain” (im not sure what its medical name is). She smoked once when pregnant with me and I was born with no […]
I woke up at 5pm on Saturday and haven’t gone to sleep since. At about 7 o’clock I took a shower because that always helps me to fall asleep.I don’t want to make this long so I will spare you the long details of my boring life and why I’m so miserable so to summery it quickly
-I have family problems
-I have no friends
-I have depression
-I just went threw a bad break up
-I feel alone and empty
-I have self atem issues
-I bottle up all my feelings and try not to bother people with my problems
So basically when I […]
im crushed. im hurt. ive hit rock bottom.im screaming for help but no one cares no one is listening.
I very much hope that at least one person
in the entire world reads this,because
it would make me feel as though someone
somewhere gives one single flying fuck about me.
I did a stupid thing I put my heart out there
and ended up getting crushed
So here’s the story is:
Jasmine, her boyfriend James,and his brother Nick where having a
sleep over at jasmines house.They only invited Nick because
Jasmine thought I would come over to keep him company.
He had recently been dumped and he was a bit sad.
But I was at my dads house for the weekend.
So since Nick felt like a third wheel James asked if I would […]