I remember a time where i could cut and then go on about my day with a fake smile as if everything was all fine and dandy. Cutting use to hold me together. It used to keep me sane. But now no matter what i do, or how much blood is shed i just cant seem to even pretend to be happy.I feel like i will never experience true happiness.
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You are becoming desensitized to cutting as a coping mechanism.
This might be a good time to reach out and find omeone to help you.
Do you think you could call a help line?
Peace