tiredofchronicpain

The world has many names. Some call it just ‘The World’, others, ‘Gaia’, ‘Mother Earth’. If you look at the vast religions, everyone has a unique way of referring to this pale blue dot in such a maternal manner, quite romantically.

Even though the world is the inspiration to my great minds, it is also the downfall to a great number of souls. I, for one, am amongst the ones this world has shaped in a not-so-gentle fashion.

Incidentally, life can’t get much worse. And for those who know my story, I would like to extend a parallel to what I wrote last time. I may even […]

Holy shit. Ok, so let me start with this long-ass story about how I am and why I deserve to die finally.

Rewind 15 years ago:

“Young love does not exist”. This was a sentence I read, carved on an oak wooden table by some teenager who did not even know what they wrote.
Teachers would warn me about playing too much, and wasting my years away, how it all would make us fail.

Fast forward 15 years, and here I am as a 31-year-old creature, I guess, with nothing to be proud of. I see an empty face in the mirror, a face I do not know anymore. […]

So what can I say this time? Just came home from work – I screw up everything I do. I sit around work, unable to focus. I hate meetings. I am so anxious during work and get brain-fog so badly I cannot focus on the task at hand. Why does this happen? I do not understand how unfair the competitive advantage is we need to have to sustain ourselves in this sanctuary of a universe. I am here writing to you all on a Friday night of a long weekend ahead. Is it so relative that it feels as if I already lost my job? […]

“who are you kidding? you said it yourself, you are a family of one” – over the hedge.

Recently I saw the infamous death scene from Blade Runner 2. This really struck an accord with me on many levels; the antecedent of my posts summarizes my everyday conclusions: I am a 29 year old man. I am a has-been. Around 20 years ago, when I was 9 years old, life was so generous; It was euphoric and forgiving. I sang along with the joys of my days.

And now? I read in-between the lines of Mad World “And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda […]

Which posts on here are your favorite?

And which authors?

Hi Guys and girls. Please post your favourite posts on here and explain why. I am eager to make a bookmark of them. It can be on any site, including suicideproject dealing with nihilism/wanting to die/suicide notes, etc.

Is it worthwhile continuing life when you are 29 years old, live with pain, rejected from social circles because of your looks, and stuck with your elderly parents, living day to day in a country with no job prospects, and no future to get better. I am simply alive for the sake of my parents, but they might need to house me for my whole life. My anxiety attacks makes it hard to keep jobs too; so what is this life worth? Please tell me what do do. Would you live under this extreme circumstances? Considering you are also viral on YouTube for saying “hi […]

I am not going to beat around the bush so keeping this short for a later longer version. I just feel quite frustrated. I have 2 back teeth that is giving me problems and I feel somewhat too attached to them to pull them. 1 has a root canal but the one next to it is very sensitive so I cannot tell where the pain is coming from. Dentists, again, cannot see anything showing up on the x ray. Stress trigger tooth pain, and the pain can stay for a day or half a day, and dissappear. I work hard in my shifts( currently doing […]

I think the title says it all. I am curious what anybody would do in my situation. I feel beyond repair: aged 28, living with parents after graduating with engineering degree. Yes, still live with parents at my age.

I am hitting a brick wall here. I am currently working a stressful cafe job where the manager already expects so much of me. The work has too many chiefs and few indians. I really am puzzled what anybody would do or if there is a reason to keep living this extremely difficult life and battle toe-to-toe with this existence, seeing that things still doesn’t show promising […]

I have this strange habit of going outside to my parents’s car and just talk to myself. I do a vitriolic rant on life, and the day. “Carpe Diem” is what the haves say who don’t know better; as the day ahead is one more day to your grave. And another day to regret…

Today was my first day of work. We moved overseas and I got a 1 month waiter position that seemed promising to do and not too stressful. Little did I know. The idiot running the place, in charge of the whole place is 10 years younger than me, worked there for 4 […]

I am back in South Africa, even worse off. I fucking HATE South Africa. I certainly do not see myself as a Saffa anymore. If the weird specimens with their foreign accents they taught themselves to look superior of only being overseas for a month at most, is not pissing me off, it is the domestic lot. The plane was the worst. You just want to grab the idiot by the ear with his loud winey, bitchy voice pretending to be foreigner while you can clearly here the strong accent lurking behind it, and the typical attitude. There certainly is no shortage of this extreme […]

Hi, I saw you replying on one of my posts. Yes, tell me more about yourself.

Since I was a little boy, I loved to write and tell stories. So now I guess, my new addiction is earning badges on suicide project and becoming a writer for those on the other side to read and enjoy. Something that could be vindicative to suicide itself. But I guess the better option is to foster my inner sense of altruism. So here I go.

So here I am, aged 28, going back to South Africa after failing to find work, still living with my parents, graduated with an electronics engineering degree and scoring only a 3rd class honours(basically just passed) – fought lifelong OCD. […]

Hi, friend. You are currently a regular member and I think your posts are brilliant and reflect my thoughts well. What I do hate about SP is no personal messaging and the site’s architecture is poor. I tried to click on your name a few times but it does not show any information…

Are you up for starting a discussion chat group or something with a few SP members? I personally would like to pick your brain and see how it resonates with mine on various topics.

I guess I just fear that an older and intelligible writer like you would disappear one day and never come […]

I guess the modus operandi of the world is now the consumerist mentality of cheap production, aka, the China complex.

Oh, hell. Yes, I am proud of being a 90’s boy. And you know what? Everybody complains about “90’s /80’s” nostalgia. Our generation, along with the 80’s kids had a wrestle back to decide which times were better: ’90’s or ’80’s’. You know why we are nostalgic?   Come on 80’s kids, we are one now….

The millennials have no frikkin’ personality with their “what can you bring to the table” expressions on their faces. I remember how many cults there were; trends etc., etc. I remember the […]

If you are  a member of Suicide Project, you might encounter very obscure groups known as “suicide prevention” groups. They might seem utterly harmelss, but they are sole reasons why Doctors aren’t liable to grant euthanasia, and thus have a vivio-centric view .

If you get a sniff in the nose and smell a rat, you are dead on. These groups are a trend going back to the 1960’s, They have existed under our noses all along and pop up for another profiteering market gobally. These groups are NOT driven by individuals wanting to have you having a happier life, they are there for another motive, […]

Hi, tired old aussie. I live in Australia too. What exactly are you suffering from? You mention “chronic pain”, what exactly cause this? How old are you?

I have had my toe-to-toe with existence(I am 28 right now)  and can attest to what every member of this forum has before:”life is struggle to nothing” . From the moment I woke up, I detested life. I knew I going to be here for a long, long time. I was a c-section baby with my back turned to the world, and went through intensive care after birth. The doctors had a pain getting me out as […]