U.N. Owen

Apathy.  Only feeling I have is compassion for those in this board and those in dire straits.  Not enough to keep me wanting to live though.  I just wish that I could find a way to make some fast money without having to resort to illegal means.  Not that I fear death by those means but prison is an experience I’d rather not deal with.  Adult prison anyway. 

Of course I could just go now.  But I want at least 3-6 months of slothful and decadent pleasure before I kick the bucket.  Having worked since I was 14 and working two or three jobs most of […]

Not saying that some twisted situation will come along that prevents me from killing myself.  But I’d have to be either severely crippled or under the influence of drugs and locked up.  And if either of those two happen I’ll just hopefully die from the complications or my mind will be to blasted to worry.

But the fact that I have no fear of failing a suicide attempt again has made everything look different.  Bills, work, day to day responsibilities I can really shuck off because they are not an issue.  Nothing in life is an issue because I know there will be no future repercussions […]

Warning to those planning on exiting.  Please make sure you do not do it impulsively.  Took three weeks off work.  And let’s just say I was in a certain place under the influence of chemicals and alcohol and the thought occurred to me to go ahead and do it and die.

Needless to say I failed.  Paid no attention to my environment and ended up with nice short stays in places where they keep one confined for one’s own safety  over the holidays.  Lucky I did not lose my job.

But I did discover how the last two people who wronged me left themselves open. Not normally a […]

Just got word that in a few months our positions may be terminated if we do not get any more business.

Worked two or three jobs for the last several years and took this position because the pay scale was such that I could survive off one now.  Even after they cut our income I cut back and still made it. 

Now there may be nothing.  Years ago when I still had hope and goals fresh out of university, I probably would have been dismayed.  At this point however it is no big deal at all. 

Feels fitting somehow.  Although I did hope that someone would be able to benefit […]

I only knew you from a few postings on here.

But you really seemed like a really kind and caring guy.

Even in your pain you encouraged others.

And you also said quite a few things that added to my education and wisdom.

Your last message seemed to be when you were on your way out.

Out of respect I do hope you found the peace you were looking for.

Yet in the same breath i hope you found a living way to ease your pain.

Wherever you are caucajun, you will be missed.

My brother in life and death…..

Be well wherever you may be.

Quite a few people on here want someone to love, to care, to understand.  And to do so in truth and action and not just words and platitudes. I myself am past the point where companionship would make me want to stay.

However , why don’t those of you who are seeking true friends try exchanging emails and maybe then numbers.  I know it does not make up for offline contact, but you will at least have someone who understands.  Who may be more willing to accept you for who you are.

And with the new phones they have the ‘facetime’ and other video technology so you […]

The below is not my work.  It is the opinion of someone else I ran across online.  It may explain why some people, especially those who are religious, choose to deal with so much.  No offense meant to anyone by this. 

http://www.inhabitatiodei.com/2009/04/28/love-is-fucking-stupid/

Love is Fucking Stupid
Posted by Halden on April 28, 2009
 

First Corinthians 13 is one of the most famous of oft-quoted scriptures in existence. How often have all of us found ourselves at a wedding in which the folks getting married may not even be Christians in any sense in which this Scripture is movingly quoted? It’s everywhere. […]

Sitting here at work bored from the tedium.  Do not really want to be here.  And I know I have hit rock bottom because I am posting from work.  All they can do is fire me and although I may not have the funds to go in the method I choose, it will help me to leave earlier.

Have already spoken on certain things on here.  But I refuse to take treatement for any ailments.  If they cannot cure it then I prefer to let the disease take me out.  And death seems to be the cure for life.  Because all these years I have just been […]

Yes I may have diagnosed mental problems.  But that does not make my choice to die a wrong or a bad one.  I have successfully been able to make it through our warped educational system and  be strong enough to maintain a job and support myself except for the years i was jobless and homeless and at present because my salary was cut considerably.

Can a person not of sound mind actually function as such. Because either the standards that you psychs use are off kilter or there is really no normal and it is as false as those ideals of democracy and communism.

There are innocent […]

Had I been told this or been wise enough to realize this as a child maybe things would be different. Instead my family beath the whole “hard work” and “do nice things” all the time credo into me.   Certain events made me go numb my teen years and well like many of you drugs and the streets were my catharsis.  Thing is as long as I kept my grades up, seemed like my family did not suspect me of doing anything else.   Birth parents were drug addicts and dealers during my conception so probably why my brain is messed up.

Antisocial and schizoid, being forced into […]