December 8th, 2011 by U.N. Owen

Nobody outside the internet knows about my plan to end.  I even feel rather bad by writing such to people here because everyone has their own issues.  My fsmily thinks I am going to a monastery somewhere.

Have been on these types of sites for years after my first attempt years ago. And many people have suggested many ways to keep living.

And the strongest way it seemed was to help others.  However what I learned was that no matter how much I did that, nothing changed. I was glad for them but I needed at least one rational aspect for me to stay.

And I could think of none. But I do thank you here at SP for reading. Here I can express things that have been bottled up for years because everyone I know in reality has accepted the black, white, and the gray for what it is while I still dream of a utopian place where there is no pain and no harm to anyone ever.

Some of you advocates of life may feel I’m weak, cowardly, or similar things. Be my guest.  But by choosing to end things on my terms and on my time I feel that it makes me strong.  Strong enough to defy destiny and strong enough to defy the universe.

Maybe I will be around tomorrow. Maybe I will not.  But I do know that before the end of 2012 I will no longer be here on this earth.

I am grateful to have read people’s stories here and to have corresponded with many of you. It has added to my knowledge and perspective…. even though I have alwasy been a rather free minded person.

Hoping you all have as good as a day that is possible for you individually.

Buenas dias.

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