We do not know what will happen when we die until we die. There is no way of knowing ever!!! we cannot even come close, all we can do is hypothesise about it
There are no quick and painless ways to die. Unless you have access to some pretty potent chemicals like potassium cyanide you can forget about it. Other ways like, Falling from a height (which is one of the ways I want to go) may seem like a quick death and for all I know it could be? but certainly not painless. The body does not just switch off when we die it needs to […]
wastedlife
Breeze still carries the sound
Maybe I’ll disappear
Tracks will fade in the snow
You won’t find me here
Ice is starting to form
Ending what had begun
I am locked in my head
With what I’ve done
I know you tried to rescue me
Didn’t let anyone get in
Left with a trace of all that was
And all that could have been
Gone… fading…Everything…All that Could have been..
All that could have been.
Please, Take this
And run far away
Far as you can see
I am Tainted
And happiness and peace of mind
Were never meant for me
All these Pieces
And promises and left […]
I know my life is empty
And I hate to face this world alone
So I’m searching for an angel
Someone who can make me whole
I can not save you, I can’t even save myself
So just save yourself
I know that we’ve been damaged
Our souls have suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
Please don’t take pity on me
My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely, I think I’d rather be alone
I think I have come undone
You can not save me
IÂ can’t even save myself
I […]
What if when I die I immediately realise that I was wrong “they” were right and now I am stuck with my decision. I’ve made some bad decsion in my life that this seems so plausibly real. I mean I don’t care what happens when I die because I don’t enjoy being here right now but what if……?
Part of me knows there is nothing but part of me is what if? Life is all about choice, I dont want to be wrong again
“if there was no desire to heal, no embrace to see me through this tedious path I’ve choosen here, I certainly would’ve walked […]
I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole,
Defeated, I concede and Move closer
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness
How pitiful
It’s calling me…
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret – my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me
Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting
And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don’t wanna be down […]
Well I have not posted on here for a while as but I figure it is a good place to vent without fear of consequences, anyway I am just so tired of it all. I’m just running through the motions, yet another day, exhausted and lost. wishing it to be undone. I’m stuck in limbo, can’t go back and I can’t or don’t want or too scared to go forward…I just don’t know. all I do is think about ways to leave
I’d thought that I share some song lyrics as this song plays over and over constantly and I feel it very apt  for me, even tho it’s about something […]
Nothing, seems to kill me
No matter how hard I try
Nothing’s closing my eyes
No matter how hard I fall, nothing can break all
I’d give you everything you need
I’d give you everything I own
I’d give in if it could be mine alone
I’d give it everything I could
To blow it to hell and gone
Someone, tried to tell me something
Don’t let the world, bring you down
Nothing can do me in, before I do myself
So, save it for the your own and the ones you can help
Blowing it to hell and gone.
Interesting analogy
I have read an article by stephen hawking and some posts on here linking the human brain to a computer.
does this mean that i’m that program does not finish installing or website that doesn’t run properly and no matter how many times you try to reload the program or refresh the page it always ends up getting stuck at the same point and you have to start again? kind of like a really scratched CD that won’t play passed a certain point no matter what you do. Because it sure does feel like this. I even try rebooting the computer to fix the problem but that just makes […]
I didn’t want to hear that, I didn’t want know, but it’s to late, I asked. I already knew the answer and now I have the thought and the image that entails.
I wanna scream, I am trying here but I am by far not out of the woods yet. So yes it does still hurt but I will pretend for you that it doesn’t.
TOO many memories I wish I didn’t have and now I cannot make them go away….      ….
Another weekend gone and it most definitly was an up and down one. it started with me wanting to and trying to drink myself to oblivion, literally, I wasn’t goin to stop until I physically couldn’t then keep drinking some more, I ended having a really good night but then I happened to get a txt the next night and it threw me right back into the shit.
I thought things might be looking up but no it is just the same shit and I cant deal with it, my friend pretty much doesn’t want to talk to me because of how depressed I am and I […]
Every time I see or hear about someone who has died, been in an accident or killed in some way I can’t help but think “lucky bastard” or “I wish that was me.” Why can’t it have been me that died? why am I still alive when other people die who want to live?
even when I was holding my mum’s hand as she passed I way I wanted desperately to trade places with her. That is an image that I can never forget.
I want to die but I dont want to kill myself, I just don’t see a point to go on living so I […]
Now I see the times they’ve changed,
Leaving dosen’t seem so strange.
I am hoping I can find, where to leave my hurt behind,
All the shit I seem to take, all alone I seem to break,
I have lived the best I can
I was once the most happy, carefree loving life, kinda person once. Somehow things have taken a turn for the worst, I know why they have, now I just want to leave it all behind. I have nothing to live for, I care anymore. I dont want to cause anymore pain to those that do care by them thinking they could have done something about it. Thing is they cant do anything about so the less they know the better, they don’t have to live with they pain that I do….Im am still hoping that there is something around the corner to convice me to return […]