I don’t really wanna die (although I’m gonna) but I don’t wanna live as me. It wouldn’t even have to be as Tom Cruise, just some normal dude that didn’t have these sort of problems. A lot of “normals” probably do have some problems, everyone does I suppose, but not to the stage where the scales are just totally drooped on one side, and there’s no balance at all to them.
Woody
This is my biggest fear that I won’t actually make it. It’s terryfing. I was planning to be gone by halloween, and then by xmas, and then by valentines day, and now fucking easters approching and I’m still here.. .It’s probably something to with the brutal metho, err techinique ‘s I’ve got.
I’m not someone who wants help, I just want out of here. My brain must know it’s only a matter of time, yet It still insists on getting one more sleep.
I think this one’s been done a few times on here, I think I might have done a previous thread on this myself, but it’s surely the worst feeling in the world. Takes 10 seconds to realise your back here when you wake up, then another 10 seconds to fully become aware of things, and then you think FUCK I’m back here again. It’s ridiculous. It would be a lot easier to be in dreamland all the time or be in coma and never wake up.
My last post a few weeks ago was all bullish, yeah here we go goodbye everyone, then I pussied out at the location… It won’t happen a second time, once but never twice… I just wonder how many people on here post goodbye threads then don’t post again because they didn’t make it? We’re all anonymous on here, but I was embarrassed to post again really tbh… I should just have enlarged the cajones..
We all know it’s not easy getting over that brain wiring or the scale of fear over the method though..
PS- I’ve just woke up again and realised I’m back in this shithole […]
I think I’m going for it now. “Better off dead than lying in bed” Good luck to you all, hope you find the peace or help you need. Mr survival instincts just gonna have to take me middle finger…
My last meal I hope was a Big Mac and Fries. I recommend it to anyone..
Obviously you won’t miss anything if you’ll be dead, but there is simply not one thing I’ll miss anymore here, that’s the truth. Maybe booze… but that’s about it.
At least two people have managed to get over the finish line and now they don’t exist anymore. Damn, I’m jealous of them whoever they were.
Mines is James Purefoy in HBO’s Rome “This is it then, anything to get to away from this fucking hangover” Great line.
What did you feel at the time? Fear? Relief? Excitement? or a mixture of all of them?
I guess it’s different degrees depending on the metho , err technique.
About this earth now,the noise of the place, I wish I didn’t have ears to be honest.. Or a nose to smell it.
I’ve seen this disussion on here before, but when your having a nice dream, and you come back to reality, maybe takes 20 seconds to be aware of your surroundings, and then you realise your back here again. Worst feeling in the world.
And talk about methods! Maybe have a chat about hanging or jumping. I’m feeling in a rebellious mood.
It’s quite a bizarre thing. It’s mine, and I should be able to do whatever I like with it but I can’t. Want’s to keep me a prisoner. How can you beat the damn thing? It’s being tortured but it still want’s to go on and on and on. Damn you brain..
To past members, I only joined in September, but some of the people that were making posts in that space of time have obviously gone. Gonna happen on a suicide helpsite I suppose, but godspeed…
Had a really nice one there, can’t remember what It was now, but I woke up and thought “shit I’m back in this place again” Went from a nice dream to a nightmare within the blink of an eye. Quite inspiring to think we don’t know were dreaming so we won’t know we were ever her in the first place when we head into the great unknown.
I could have my old life back. It was a pretty shitty existence really, but it was managable (although barely) I’d give my left leg to go back a few years though.
No one will give a shit about all of this or the year 2017, It’ll all be over and we can celebrate the fact we’ll be out. We are a blink in the eye of this world, although it seems quite a long blink.
How can you work this one out? Get another few hours sleep and rest ya body or get some eternal sleep?
Begins again, I liked that movie. Bill Murray’s great, but I don’t like actually living it..
All the people you’ve ever cared about, and you’ve got all of this shit in ya mind what is the point in going on? Stupid fucking brain keeping me here. Being left in this shithole is too much. It’s all a load of bollocks. Might be some sort of Matrix thing, hell itself or some sort of prison planet, I’m undecided about that
Seeing people going about their daily existence, seems so silly to me now. Why try when you can die?
Gonna get a sleep and sober up now 🙂