Drawn partly while listening on loop to The Funeral by Band of Horses
No shit, our little mudball just got done with yet another long, dreary circuit around the big fireball! For the 2,019th time since Jesus. And here we go again for Round#2,020. Hold tight, fellow astronauts, and try not to get bumped off, for it might get a bit bumpy this time around.
Good hope for y’all. Farewell to the fallen – RIP.
Rifling my garbage of memories, kind of auditing my choices and mistakes I’ve made, I realized how many speedbumps, potholes, ditches and wrong turns there had been en route to Shitlifetown, where I’ve taken up lodging. Why did I keep going like that?
I just couldn’t apply the brakes and stop for any course correction. I had no map for my life in front of me either. Okay that’s a dishonest excuse, I guess. Nobody got it except freakin’ Nostradamus. But still so many people make it to Disneyland in season.
Fact is, they made use of their compass and I pawned it off upon hard times. […]
I feel like I’ve lived out my time of life. I find the world around me increasingly unfamiliar. It’s only natural, I suppose. The law of life – the old making way for the new. And I’m fine with that. But it’s happening all too suddenly for me. Too fast to grasp my new place among things. It’s like change accelerated manifold.
But it’s a universal phenomenon. Look at evolution; took us millions of years to get here and now they’re talking of bionic man coming this very century. Take climate change; for ages temperatures varied just a few degrees and now we’re looking at being […]
Wonder what spectacular, momentous events are taking place right now in places out of human reach. As I go about my days fretting over my sorry lot – lack of money, poor health, sucky job, low social status, zero relationships, no dreams and pathetic desires, there is something grand happening far out above, unconscious of me. Planets are floating, comets zipping by, stars exploding, molten lava furiously churning, gas clouds sparkling with the birth of stars, chaos amidst silence. Eternal unlike my time on earth and infinite unlike the ground I amble upon.
Sure they’re just dead matter whereas I’m a sentient Human of the 21st […]
“However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is. You may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours, even in a poorhouse. The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the almshouse as brightly as from the rich man’s abode; the snow melts before its door as early in the spring. I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there, […]
…this is the only ‘social’ media that I’ll grace with my presence from now on.
Months ago I read a serious article online, advising netizens on their way out to make sure not to leave behind their digital footprint lest it be misused after their exit. Decided to act on the advice now.
Never been on snapchat or instagram. Put facebook for deactivation more than a month ago. Checked outta linkedin and behance last week. Left my whatsapp groups (except four that’d raise questions); will uninstall it after quitting my job next to next month. Deleted an alternate email account (wasn’t using it much anyway, tbh). I’ll […]
The infinite void outside this planet is so perfect and sublime precisely because its limitless. How silly of me for seeking perfection all the while being trapped within a limited body.
Truly the best of all existence is one that does not exist. They can never point me out at my grave because the chunks of meat being feasted upon by maggots down there are not the person they define. That person is indefinite – nowhere and everywhere at the same time.
The dead of all time are free. They’re above the mediocrity of existence and they’re infinite like the universe. I’m just wasting my time here […]
…but even Once is too much.
Had a bad day at office. I’m not one of the gunner kind but rather dumb. Just some pathetic faceless employee right at the bottom of the pecking order. Today I was the last one to leave after a hectic project delivery. I felt so bitter thinking about what a chronic loser I am. Drifting half-assedly through life, working for peanuts, and even then not knowing what to do with whatever spare dime I’m making. I just couldn’t make any sense of my being in this world.
But then, while waiting at the bus stop, a strange peace descended upon me, like a whiff of cool […]
And I don’t belong in it.
‘Where are we, exactly?’
Simple inquiry but no answer.
So, let’s just keep distracting ourselves with whatever, in order to avoid being bewildered out of our wits by the reality of our existence. Let’s just live it out, goddamit. Study and work. Succeed and breed. Love and laugh. Enjoy the ride while we can. And this and that.
Wait, but that brings up another question- Why? Again, no answer.
So, let’s just fucking die. Or whatever.
I’d disappear from society and die this minute but I know there are a few good-hearted people who care, family and friends who’d go crazy over my sudden absence and ruin themselves with worry. I’m fucking chained to them, so I know what it is like to be a prisoner and I guess that’s I’ve got this pathological hatred for all those smug assholes who keep birdcages and fishbowls in their dainty fancy sweet little homes. Who gave you the goddamn rights to hold back the birds from flying and the fish from swimming freely out in the real world. Why not just kill and […]
Suicide is the routine. The balancing act. No one left behind hurts and mourns. The worlds move on.
Death is not news anymore. Life goes on. The value of existence is relative. Meaning of life is what one assigns it.
Winners live and breed. Losers bow out with dignity. All fair game. Humanity doesn’t need so many of its kind; only a few harbingers of the voyage into the future. Let their tribe increase. All the rest are dispensable.
They who know their role in the cosmic play (or lack thereof) are free to slip behind the curtains of being. The audience and the critics of society pay […]
I’m moving to a big city full of corporate bots into a new job I’m not fond of. It’s a new phase of my life, but I hope deep down that its the last one too. I look forward to fuck up at work and get fired (Again. I was fired on my first job). I’ll have no friends or family in that city so I guess it’ll be easier to take the plunge when I’ll be on my own.
I’m too tired for new beginnings. It’s too late to make a comeback. I want out.
It might not seem relevant on this forum, but I got to the question upon thinking all night about my death. I need to know opinions of wannabedeads like me.
What do you think? I guess it is.
My thoughts are fluctuating between extremes. I want to run away from everything and vanish forever. I want to seize the day and live into the next century. Both on the same day.