Author

Yorubara19

I will find a way to die

by Yorubara19 6/3/2012

written by Yorubara19

I live in a spiritual community and I finally realize how unhealthy this whole place is. There is no love here everyone here is so judgmental and fake. Its all political. You go away for a while and no one greets you with even just a smile when you come back.

I only feel good now when I am on my meds, and they always wear off in time.

I’m in hell. My boss here is a manipulative a-hole who has no boundaries. I had to tell him I needed to go to the hospital.When I came back, he asked me how it was in front of […]

6/3/2012 3 comments

Panic Attack

by Yorubara19 3/12/2012

written by Yorubara19

I just had one, simply because someone else posted something moronic on their facebook. Some bible quote:

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men

My thoughts were like this; that is right, I am trash, I am going to be trodden upon, because I have no savour, and I can’t fight for myself, I’m horrible and pathetic and damaged, with no morals, no motivation, no drive.

Its like pearls before swine, and I am swine. A […]

3/12/2012 3 comments

Abuse of Power

by Yorubara19 3/10/2012

written by Yorubara19

Saturday’s, because they are my day off, seem like my day to post on this thing. I only have like three posts so far, but I feel drawn back to this place. Its a place for my tough thoughts that no one else wants to listen to. ..

Just reading the last post was almost to much for me because the person reading it was very angry about their situation saying *** you to everyone and saying they want everyone to suffer as much as they. How ironic that they are crying for help, but at the same time snarling that that. I understand it all […]

3/10/2012 1 comment

Thems the bums

by Yorubara19 3/5/2012

written by Yorubara19

Feeling better today after I spent about 3 or 4 hours in pure physical and mental agony. Agony! I wanted someone to come lift me out of bed, to carry me downstairs so I could function and work, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. So I went on the internet trying to solve it that way. I had to go on the internet and look up those groups of people that write about common experiences. The one I was looking at today was “people abandoned by their moms” (share your story!) and I really did not expect to feel better at first, but […]

3/5/2012 0 comment