Anxiety? Social, specifically. I do – mine is so bad that I’m totally non-functional in life. I can’t do what other people do without extreme anxiety. I don’t see this getting better, at least not without a heroic effort (which I don’t have in me anymore, and anyway, I’d have to spread my heroic effort energies among lots of other problems which would mean none would truly be solved.) So, anyone…?
My Gosh. Every little thing makes me cry these days. I was at the supermarket today, buying food. An old song came on. I was transported back to my childhood. Emotion! I started to think how this person, this mind, this consciousness could so easily and quickly come to an end. Every single experience I ever had – gone.
I saw a lady, hobbling around on what seemed to be an arthritic knee. I was reminded of the small amount of money I had set aside for when I’d imagined I would buy another home. And how I had thought that money would be much better […]
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I haven’t really planned much I’d like to do in my final days or weeks. I see others like to treat themselves to an expensive meal, or visit somewhere special before they go. Me, I just don’t want to give my children’s father the chance to continue poisoning their minds against me for the rest of time. So maybe writing something for both of them to read when they’re older…. I don’t know. It all seems like so much effort. I’m beyond exhausted, every day is damage control. What about you? Have you thought of some things you’d like to do before it’s your time […]
From really young people – teenagers – who are suicidal. There seems to be a theme in that most of them have parents who they feel don’t understand, support or love them. It’s so sad. And even worse that they feel like they can’t talk to their parents about how they feel.
In this world of materialism, I had somehow forgotten how important all that was. It had seemed like all they wanted was the latest iphone, and to be in the popular group at school. It kind of gives me new hope that I can actually be a positive influence in my kids lives, although […]
If I really think about this question, it comes down to basically two things. The people in my life who would be affected and the fact that I’m scared of something going wrong with my attempt. Another odd thought came into my mind. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE A BODY!! I don’t want somebody to have to come across me – lying there dead. I’ve always had a problem with blood (not that my method involves it) but, you know, just general messiness. I just want to disappear. I don’t even care if nobody remembers me. I just don’t want a fuss. In fact, it […]
I used to own a house where I lived with my two children. For various reasons (main one being that I became ill with what the doctors tend to call CFS – Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,) my children had to go and live with their Dad. I was, at the time, on solo parent’s benefit and, of course, once my two babies weren’t living with me anymore I had to come off of it… and could no longer afford to live in my house. So, I sold the house (and got a small sum of money back from it.) I then went to live with my […]
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