Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

The stigma of a suicide failure.

by nemo 11/27/2012

written by nemo

It has been four months since my attempt. I feel muzzled and constrained, i have no family except my husband and children, they are too young to understand and i do not ever intend for them to know. There is so much I want to talk about, things and people i expeirenced while in hospital for 20 days. But I have been forbidden to talk about it. My husband has had a long standing rule I am not supposed to say things to him longer than a paragraph. But on this I can not make any reference at all.Ever. He told his family who now […]

11/27/2012 8 comments

I cant stop flinching

by Alayna 11/27/2012

written by Alayna

He hit me. Just once he hit me. I cant forget it and I cant stop myself from flinching everytime a man/boy gets near me to fast. My life has been hell for the last 3 days and I feel so scared all of the time. I’m scared to leave my bed, I’m scared to argue with him, scared that if he gets angry I am going to get hurt…

should I report him?

11/27/2012 15 comments

Dear Lemon

by thirteen 11/26/2012

written by thirteen

There’s so much pain in this place. I thought I’d write something at least a little hopeful (if still bitter and morbid) [and as an afterthought, clumsily worded].

Dear Lemon,

I haven’t really, truly trusted anyone in a long time. Sure, I trust people to do work-related things, but I’ve never trusted anyone to care. My doubt has always been one-sided – questioning the potential goodwill of others, but never the “malice”.

I realized that’s why it’s been so hard for me to be alone. Whenever you “blow me off”, or fail to speak to me for more than a day, I immediately start wondering if our friendship […]

11/26/2012 1 comment

The light at the end of the tunnel just went out…

by Alayna 11/26/2012

written by Alayna

I said things where better and I thought they where. I was wrong though. just hours after my last post all hell broke loose. My dad went crazy he got mad at me and he threw me on my bed and was shaking me and hitting me and I screamed that I hated him. he grabbed me and dragged me head first off my bed and slammed me to the floor. He saw my mom at the storeÂ and heÂ told me that she didn’t want me. Nobody wants me anymore… My family has abandoned me…and I don’t know what to do.

The only reason I am awake […]

11/26/2012 3 comments

Four.

by YouAreNeverAlone 11/25/2012

written by YouAreNeverAlone

Breathing, gasping for air as you are shoved through a long, tight, narrow space. Brightness. Everything hits you so hard. All of the sudden you are no longer safe, the warmth and comfort of the stable darkness quickly vanishes. Unexposed to anything bad, this is the beginning of your life. What will your story be? You could be anything, do anything. Your innocence is perfect. You are perfect. Everyone loves you, it is overwhelming. So many hands, so much touching. It so different than floating freely. But your happy, this new world is nice and it welcomes you with open arms. You drift slowly to […]

11/25/2012 0 comment

Please let me cry

by thirteen 11/25/2012

written by thirteen

The only thing about being abandoned is that there’s nothing to cry about. Nobody yells at you, nobody calls to tell you that they no longer care. There is no email carrying theÂ time-stampÂ of the end of your friendship. There is nothing to cry about because being abandoned is precisely when nothing happens.

When someone walks out on you, it’s easy to wish that they slammed the door behind them. You almost want something to happen – anything, good or bad – just so your pain makes sense. When people break up or fight, everyone knows. The hugs and kind words add up. Having someone sneak out […]

11/25/2012 3 comments

I’m failing at everything

by Runningtostandstill 11/25/2012

written by Runningtostandstill

I can no longer stand being alone. I have multiple friends…but I feel alone in this world. I feel like I have nothing anymore, even though I am surrounded by things. But no matter what I cannot do it, I cannot end it all.
I have been feeling like this for years now, and i have been cutting for at least 4 years. And I feel like a cannot be a normal person anymore. Everything I do, everything turns to ruin. I cant do anything right! I ruin peoples lifes, for instance, there’s this boy that likes me, allot. And he tells me everyday. But […]

11/25/2012 15 comments

Talk to me?

by brokenheart15 11/24/2012

written by brokenheart15

Someone help me get over this pain please. Everything I do reminds me of him.

11/24/2012 0 comment

A Pact

by Chicane 11/24/2012

written by Chicane

I do know that there will be people who will miss and judge me. That’s one of the reasons that keeps me from killing myself. But what if I come up with some omnipotent supernatural being for myself? I would then make a pact with it that it will make sure that people left behind won’t judge me, that people will not miss me, that I won’t cause suffering by going away. It works for some religious people. I guess that’s just a thought experiment.

11/24/2012 1 comment

My Broken Family

by Life Death 11/24/2012

written by Life Death

About a week ago I found out how fucked up my family is, my mums an actress so she goes on tours alot and my dad is a psychotherapist who has been trying to get his quilification for 11 years!

My dad is a lazy alchoholic but he dosent hit me, but he manipulates my emotions until i’m crying in your room for an hour or 4. My mum hates him because she has payed about 250,000 punds on his training so we’re broke. My brother ignores it by doing working and other activities. My dad is very….. destructive, of people and my stuff. He has […]

11/24/2012 2 comments

My life as a fail, Death sounds, easier.

by LostOne23 11/23/2012

written by LostOne23

My name is ryan, im 23, i have been shy and quiet all my life. I have severe anxiety, nobody understands me, i am hard of hearing i wear hearing aids. I dont consider myself ugly, but people make me feel that way. I have been a screw up most of my life, when i was 11 i started smoking weed, which then became the root of all my problems since then. I meant an amazing girl at the same time, i dated her from the time we were 11 to 17. In jr high i started getting addicted to marijuana, i skipped school, i […]

11/23/2012 0 comment

Which one???

by oemh 11/23/2012

written by oemh

i think i want to quit dance. sure i love being consider “a good dancer” but this year isn’t like last. I’ve joined cheerleading this year and its really fun and so are the people! dance just doesn’t feel the same anymore, i wish i could go to the past and be happy. the truth is i feel really selfish i have alot more than some people have and i know i should be happy and myself but… im not!Â I dont even want to compete anymore. i just want to be happy again and cheer makes me feel like that i love trying to […]

11/23/2012 1 comment

SP and its importance..

by Abselom 11/22/2012

written by Abselom

SP is so important to you my dear! dont leave just because im here.. you see the horrible things i write, and i see what you write.. its not like we dont know whats going on in each others heads.. were just seeing it in ‘writing’.. dont let my presence chase you away. its helped you through too much, more than i probably have.. so dont leave because of me, thats not what was meant to happen.

11/22/2012 4 comments

advice please!!

by Abselom 11/21/2012

written by Abselom

My best friend has already decided she wants to die. she already has a plan, and she plans to do it very soon. probably over thanksgiving break (but i really really really hope not!!) i have told her so many times, and in so many ways that i want her to stay, and that she can get better, and things WILL get better if she lets them. but she has decided that she doesnt want toÂ get better, she doesnt want things to get better, she just wants her easy way out of it. which i do understand.. i suffer with these problems myself, i […]

11/21/2012 11 comments

Confused

by Abselom 11/21/2012

written by Abselom

I am straight. Completely straight. But i will not deny that making out with another girl while under the influence does not bother me at all. My best friend and i do that every now and then and its never been a big deal, its always just been something funny that we sorta joke about. But as she has been deciding to take her life more seriously the last few days.. i realize more and more every second how i feel about her. and i love her. i truely love her. but its not in a “I want to marry you” way… but its alot […]

11/21/2012 16 comments

Small Reasons

by noname714 11/21/2012

written by noname714

compared to others, my life doesn’t suck. my life actually is awesome. but to me, my life is fucking horrible. im a sophomore in highschool, and i dont have a best friend. i dont have someone i can turn to when im upset, or someone that i can hang out with. heck, my only few friends constantly hang out without me. i also cant turn to my parents for when im upset or when i have friend/school troubles. they fucking hate me. they yell at me every 5 minutes, for nothing. they literally think im retarded. today everyone hung out with their friends after school […]

11/21/2012 2 comments

Wanting and Needing

by Abselom 11/21/2012

written by Abselom

Whats the differnce between wanting and needing?

You need food, water and air.

You want nice things, espensive toys, amazing cars.

What do I want?

I want you. I want your life to stay.

Your soul, Your heart, Your body here with me.

Untill the day we are both meant to go.

Not for either of us to die before we have really lived.

What do i need?

I need you. I need your life to stay.

Your soul, your heart your body here with me.

Untill the day we are both meant to go.

Not for either of us to die before we have really lived.

What I want, and what I need, are the same thing.

It’s […]

11/21/2012 1 comment

Promises don’t mean shit

by Abselom 11/21/2012

written by Abselom

the title speaks for itself. why would i make any more promises when you have broken EVERY single promise you made me. if this is truely what you want. then fine. just go. leave. but your angel wont do shit for me compared to you actually being here.

promises are bullshit things so people can munipulate others into doing what you want them to, or not to do.

11/21/2012 1 comment

Me.

by Her_withCuts 11/21/2012

written by Her_withCuts

Hi. Call me eve. I’m new so yeah. I do self harm Â Okay so I guess I’ll start of with my cousin. My cousin and I are in the same grade. She has a great body and is a real beauty to guys… Me on the other had I’m flat chested that’s said by others and I don’t get the guy that I really like . You se this dude Rafael we had. Lot of past and like he was so nice to me and helped me keep on going in life . We started talking and BOOM I started to really like him. That’s […]

11/21/2012 5 comments

Confusing and overwhelming emotions

by solace 11/21/2012

written by solace

My emotions are so confusing.

Right now i am laying on my boyfriends bed, listening to wind chimes outside his window, feeling the heat in the breeze as it sweeps the scent of freshly mowed grass into his room.

And all i can think about is how wonderful my blood would look right now, running down my arm. The buzz from losing blood and self harming, the feeling of happiness.

Overall today i would say i was indifferent, which is a nice change from constant misery and helplessness. Today i could potentially feel happy. It’s as if happiness is just out of reach, it’s in the back of […]

11/21/2012 1 comment

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