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I love all kinds of music. However there’s few songs that grab hold and this is one. I could die listening to this. Â (Not that I am, just saying)
So what would your last song be?
I used to smile all the time. I never cared what anyone said about me. Then they started getting meaner meaner. They hit me and called me things like “slut” and “*****”. My own friends had turned on me. Like they didn’t even care about me anymore. I thought for a long time. Then I started cutting. I never thought I would be one of the people who started doing this. I actually felt really good. The bullying just got worse. I got so tried with it. I decided I wasn’t good enough because that’s what they told me. I got a bottle of pills […]
I don’t know how to be the way I used to be. Happy, caring, and ignorant. I have such a hard time when I get sad. I’m not depressed, I don’t think so. I’m happy, or at least semi-happy at times. I’m not a person that is miserable all the time. But when I do get upset I hit rock bottom. I lock myself up and cry and scrape my fists on brick walls.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what the hell happened. It’s as if someone snapped their fingers and I turned into someone started to disprove of, […]
I wish I could redo (or undo) my entire life.  Like guhhhhhh’s post above, I have tried to reinvent myself, tried several completely different jobs, moved countless times, met tons of new people,  and yet somehow the cloud of darkness and pain follows me wherever I go.  So I guess it’s just me then.  I suppose I am the problem.  Perhaps as long as I exist, I shall always be in misery… :/
So I haven’t been here on SP for 1,5 month I guess. It’s because I’m doing really bad. In that time I quitted school, had an intake with 2 mental health institutions, going to start therapy next week, got a cat (it’s really a sweetheart and I’m so glad my parents agreed with a pet), and yeah, the only thing I do is sleeping and sitting. Not going outside anymore, see nobody. Actually I have no life anymore. And the thing is: I don’t give a f*cking shit, I don’t care.
Last week, I grabbed my knife and started to cut, made a cut on […]
IMO, suicidal people are stuck between Life & Death as the result of a conflict: Intellect vs Emotions
on a purely rational level, we realize human life is meaningless, especially from a cosmic perspective
whether humans are or not, the Universal Mind will continue to create .. when man has disappeared, I really doubt It’ll pause to think: “wow I really miss mankind :'( Let me recreate man to fill this void I’m feeling”
unfortunately, our emotions get in the way .. thanks to social conditioning
social conditioning says: every life has a purpose ; it will get better ; you wouldn’t appreciate life if it only had ups […]
I don’t believe that I lack all strength. I just don’t have enough to do anything with my opportunities. I don’t want to wake up, and I don’t want to look for jobs, and I don’t want to get a new job or keep mine. I don’t want to go outside. I don’t want to talk to people, even family. I don’t want to get a paycheck. I don’t want to have a home. I don’t want to call this nice young lady I’m dating. I don’t want to go to dinner tonight. I don’t want to act or play music or teach or be […]
I’ve been taking Saroquel for just under a week now.. i dream every night and they’re so vivid. It’s like i’m myself.. but a different branch? Like i’ll dream about things that are happening in my life, but i’m a different version of me in the dream. It’s weird. Anyone notice anything similar on it?
Today is some sort of miracle for people around here, because it’s almost 70℉ (that’s something like 21 â…‘ ℃) – a radical change from the wintery, disgusting crap we’ve been getting over the past few months. The sun actually exists now, and people are throwing Frisbees around campus (I was dumbfounded, too) just for shits and giggles, I guess. I’ve read journals that say that winter is typically a shit time for depression, because there’s no sun or Vitamin D or much else interesting in that area.
So, here’s to a less depressing spring. And summer, and whatever else there is.
Oh, […]
im sorry
scared nobody will like me
scared to be alone
scared more people i love will die
scared my life will get worse
scared people wil see my scars
how can i not be affraid
hey guys im back. please dont hate me for what happened. glad to let u guys know travis is gone.
I’m currently 17 at the time of writing this, and to cut a long story short, for the past 4 months or so I’ve been having suicidal thoughts which have been getting progressively stronger up to now, for various reasons. I am in a rut with my life and I don’t know who there is to talk to about this. I fear that if I talk me wanting to kill myself with my friends then they’ll mock me, take it as a joke or even completely start to ignore me as I’m sure that some people can’t handle talking about this subject. I’m not very […]
I can’t believe i’m here, after 20 odd years on this years this is what I have to show for it. As I look back now all I see is wasted opportunities & a life spent wasting my time on menial tasks trying to please people that never really gave two shits about me. The nights I spent awake for them the sacrifices ivé made, DAMN. I should be able to fill my resume with everything ivé sacrificed for my so called friends. I don’t blame that, no. Im gonna be bigger then that but it still leaves a lingering feeling in my heart of […]
I struggle every day with mental illness. The type thats never quite medicated correctly. I am also a recovering alcoholic. I could never bring myself to go to AA, I just stopped so that I didnt lose my family. I think about how my whole life has always been about waiting and how I have made stupid choices to try and make a quick new outcome and how its just dug me deeper into this pit. I was raised Catholic, so there was always that […]
As a child I started hating everyone. 2 years ago it got worse and i stopped going out, i didn’t go to School anymore, I stopped eating and never left my room. My mom started worrying but she didn’t know what to do so she just argued with me before she called a psychiatric and a lawyer which said that they will hospitalize me in some time. I had to wait about 3 Months before the could take me, they said. I was glad to be free so far although I was just sitting in my bed all day. Then I decided to end this pain. […]
I just have to sit and watch her from here.
Um, so… Hi?
Google suggested I come here and I really don’t know if that was such a good idea or not. I’m Pro Choice and this site doesn’t look like it gives you much of a choice. “SP” looks like a “No Kill Zone” and that’s fine, but I’m more a “Living Optional” kind of person. It kills me when people make choices for you, but don’t come up with a solution. “It’ll get better…” they croak, but the sad truth is, no it doesn’t get better; it gets worse.
If you’re young, wait a few years; If you’re old, […]