For general topics related to the site.
not sure what sociopathical syndrome it takes for someone to come to a forum like this and try to push people over the edge for fun. but please get rid of him, it’s the last thing this site needs.
People facing “willing” death always tremble before jumping in front of train or from a building. Even it is sure, fast and free of charge. Then some maybe try to provide themselves a little bit of privacy in their last moments, but gazing in the eyes of death with strangulation or hanging (maybe newbies trying cutting and pills) that is really scary, even if your will to die is strong.
Yesterday tried hanging, after quite planning, found nice strong easily accessible tree in an abandoned forest (which is feat on its own) and that stupid rope teared itself up. I am no light weight, but tried the […]
you try to act normal
you don’t want them to know
too ashamed to tell them
you don’t let it show
they think your happy
they think your fine
you try to keep it up
emotions walking the line
you don’t want anyone to ask
yet you wish someone would
you wish someone cared
you wish they could
she doesn’t like you
you don’t blame her though
you don’t like yourself
she still doesn’t know
when they find out
(cant keep it up much longer)
you give in to guilt and shame
and wish you were stronger
I had typed several paragraphs and this sight deleted a good portion of it. Thank you suicide project for driving that final nail into my coffin.
Fuck the world.
Throughout my life I’ve been rather fearless but there are a couple of things that always scared me – death by suffocation or drowning and being burned to death. Maybe it’s the fact of having no control in the moment. Like being trapped in a burning car or having something heavy fall and being pinned to the ground, unable to breath or fight in any way.
But last night I had a dream. In this dream there were no circumstances or long, drawn out situations. Just the perception of burning; burning away all my useless flesh and taking my physical pain and disabilities away with it. […]
ok i typed a book here a bit ago, but apparently it was in the wrong place. Â figures.. Â ok breifly now then here is my story so yall can tell me i have so much to live for.
have never completed any thing. Â highschool i got my ged, army i took medical discharge, college went for 1 semester got screwed by student loans and now 7 years later i still owe 3x the original ammountand my tax returns for the last 5 years have been taken to go towards paying them. Â the longest ive ever had the same job is 1year. Â ive been homeless3-9 months out […]
I wish…
I want…
I…
You…
It’s complicated…
Im ready to be done, with constant hurting and sadness. Ive been broken for years and I cant be fixed. I want to end this. But i cant hurt people. I cant hurt my family and friends. Im so miserable. I cant do this anymore, but i can let go.
I have no bonds with people. I’ve been abused and alienated. Deep depression, constant migraines, always tired, can’t concentrate or think straight, memory issues. I’m chronically stressed. People are just rude and hateful and judgmental and prejudice. I’m in a town with very little opportunity literally just a dozen different places to work, with no transportation. I’m living in poverty which means basic needs go unmet. It sucks everyday is a struggle. Nobody to help me out, don’t qualify for state benefits.
Cleavername is super Awesome!!!
We lie all the time. Some do it to avoid hurting others, or being a bother to others, or because you just can’t trust anyone anymore. The most common lie is “I’m ok.” We all know we aren’t ok. And for me at least it hurts more each time I have to pretend that I’m full of sunshine and shit rainbows. The truth? I’m not alright. I’m not ok. Hell, I’m not even stable. I keep hearing things, and kinda seeing things. I know the manager is sitting in his office watching the live security feed from where I am, making sure I don’t screw […]
I only love N… forever <3
She doesn’t know
pure empty awareness no self transcendent infinite skylike mind indestructible primordial eternal peace that your true self or ur reborn as a fkin ignorant worm dont roll the dice with the youniverse remove those created barriers and become free <3
No one saw her the way she truly was until she jumped.
I suppose a fire that burns that bright is not meant to last.
-Allegiant
I was just wondering. Everytime I tell my closest friend (but this is my view of our friendship) what I am feeling, for example last night, I told him that I felt like complete shit and everyone would go along their merry ways if I die without even caring, he just says, ” If that’s what you think then okay.” And the subject stops there. He quickly jumps to another topic and I assume that he doesn’t really wanna hear what I have to say. I try not to get hurt by his words but I feel like it’s just one bigger proof that even […]
Where are you now? I used to feel you in everything I did. I used to feel you in the wind, the water, my heart. Now.. I feel nothing. It’s like you never existed. It’s like you were never apart of me. You could make me cry, in a way that wasn’t tragic, but beautiful. You brought me joy and happiness. You brought my heart and mind peace. You took away the darkness and the pain. You stopped the tears and the hurt. Now you’re nowhere to be found, and I feel everything more than ever. I feel the pain and hurt like someone stabbing […]
Out of respect, names will be changed for privacy.
yesterday was a horrible day. My mother was the first person (who knew Tom well), to discover Tom’s dead body in his hotel room. My mother and Lisa, a friend of moms who barely knew Tom apart from the occasional light teasing they shared back and forth, searched the city for him after no one had heard from him for a week. The search lead to a small area in a bad neighborhood by two restaurants and a cheap hotel, a waitress at a restaurant he used to frequent took mother to the hotel manager and got […]
Why does it seem so hard to be able to get your own mother (even though she did adopt me) to not hate you, to actually love you. How do you get treatment before something really bad happens. How do you get away from your prison when you don’t know where you are and can never ask. Is it just me or is escaping impossible.
i can never understand why society is that way it is. My mom treats me like she doesn’t even care, im certain by now that i’m just a waste of space. My dad left when i was born but came back a couple years later only to just beat me and yell at me, my brothers and my mom. I struggle in school because i’m bisexual, im supposedly going to burn in hell. No one gives me a chance to get to know me, just one look and it’s obvious  i’m an outcast. I don’t want to fit in with society. I’m not gonna live […]