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Today, once everyone leaves me alone, I think I’ll cut. Nobody ever took away my knife when they found out about my depression.
I though I would stop cutting, but I really feel very guilty for some reason. I feel like I smother her. If I didn’t dive in too deep with her, if I didn’t fall so deeply into love with her, maybe she would still care for me. It’s my fault.
will write my notes and clean my room this weekend. it’s over. it’s time for my exit soon.
One day I’m gonna lose the war. Bradley Nowell, lead singer of one of my favorite bands sang these words. Sublime’s song poolshark is an amazing song I have played on my guitar and sang quite a bit. He was addicted to heroin. he eventually died on May 25, 1996.
I offten find myself singing theese words and thinking to myself, yep, it’s gonna happen to me. I’m going to lose the war, not with drugs, but rather depression. I choose not to drink or do drugs, because I don’t need that.
Today I took a test that once passed, you can graduate from […]
I haven’t left my apt in days, not since last Sunday. Â I’ve run out of real food and have been subsisting on potato chips and other really bad junky food. Â :/ Â Feel such crap about my life and me being depressed and not getting out isn’t helping. Â I guess I’m too chicken to want to face the world. Â So I hide in my little broken world. Â Don’t want to see normal functioning people out and about, especially those annoyingly happy people. Â Been sleeping during the day and awake all night. I’m barely functioning.
I’m tired of life… Â 🙁
When I try to justify the point life I consider what I’ll tell my child when they ask why we exist. Not only do I not know the answer, I don’t believe that there is one.
When discussing my own belief in the futility of life people try to remind me of the good things in life.
Try to convince me that there’s always something good.
Occasionally reminding me that my own loss of life would be devastating to those around me.
Carey’s death was devastating to me. It’s devastating every day.
So yes I know how you might feel. Now maybe you might know […]
I feel like I’m losing who I am. Little by little. Piece by piece. Slice by slice. Chunk by chunk…
I don’t post very much, but I read everything, every day. I’ve seen some pretty insane stories here. Rape victims. Divorces gone terribly awry. Abusive parents, siblings, or other family members. People who lost everything. The list goes on and on; the list of, for lack of a better name, “typically depressed” people.
It’s incredible to me how the “typically depressed” crowd (and I say that with extreme respect) can be so strong. Lots of people have bounced back from these insane ordeals better than they were before. Sure, they’re depressed for awhile, but they “get over it,” […]
Hello there. You may remember me as the fairly young boy planning to commit suicide as soon as I reach the weekend. That was exactly one week ago. You may remember that the only person in the outside worldthat know of my suicidal thoughts and cutting is also the sole person I love. This was my undoing. Two days before I would hang myself, she stepped in an contacted the school guidance counselor. Naturally, this is a rather large issue, and long story short, my father, a police officer, picked me up from school and was require to Baker Act me. I was taken to […]
So I just got this idea in English class that I could write a story thats 365 pages (they’re practically gonna be chapters) and each one is going to be journal entries for each day of the year. But on the very last day of the year, she is going to commit suicide and succeed. This book is going to turn out very well i hope. I might post it page by page on here. Maybe two pages/chapters a day, but that will only happen when I finish the entire book/story thing.
My dad drives me insane, and I don’t think I can take it anymore. That’s why I want to run away. My dad has really bad anger problems and their only getting worst as he gets older. He yells at me everyday for the smallest problems in the world. And when I say everyday, I mean everyday …..that is unless I’m with my mom but she can be too careless. And when my dad gets really mad at me he gets in my face and screams really loud as if he were the incredible hulk. Sometimes he hits me really hard on the side of […]
I’m completely new to all this. I’m not use to throwing my thoughts out into the open because I don’t believe people actually care about what you have to say. I’m a pretty reserved person, doesn’t talk much or engage in social activities. So I’ve decided to turn to this site for all the shit that weighs on me, because I don’t what to do about it anymore. Eighteen years old with no desires or dreams. I find it pathetic. This should the high time; experiencing different things, graduating high school, going to college. Nah, it’s all been ripped away from me. I use to […]
what i just found out.. last night that ..
well like almost a month ago i got rapped.. by my used to be step dad. and then my neightbor was talking to my mom about it last night .
that he could have killed me..
if he didnt want anyone to find out about it.. it breaks my heart. for my mo to live in so much pain alone.. she still cant handle me getting rapped and then if he killed me ?.. my mom will be just left here alone. with no one helping her and her having nothing to do any more. my […]
If you have nowhere else to turn or need someone to confide in please email me at rsr216@gmail.com
so yeah, its been one long time since ive been on here but yeah, imm still kicking… barely. within the time spent from my previous posts my life has hit an all time low, my recent fuck up has left me with not a single friend honestly, and im not just saying that i have 6 contacts in my phone all of which are family nobody has the ever so slightest inclination to talk to me ive failed two suicide attempts and no longer have the drive to continue whatsoever. i am being bullied so bad i cant put it into words and yet […]
Hello, I’m new to this forum.
Having lived with sucidal ideation for nearly all of my life, and having survived several botched attempts, I have evolved towards a philosophical position that asserts a right to suicide for adults. Â It seems that our culture does not fully respect that each of us come in to the world against our will and consequently develop vastly different attitudes towards life. Our will to live is largely dependent on our individual experience, usually from early childhood, as well as whatever neurochemical makeup we may have inherited.
It’s true that many overcome traumatic experiences, but then again many do not. Those who […]
I am in dispare i dont know what to do i just want the pain to stop.
I’m suicidal again and have no one to tell. I feel no point. . . No happiness or sadness really. Wheni have many reasons to be both, but instead I would just rather jump onto some train tracks and be forgotten.
So, I’ll start with some background information.
My name is Sarah, I’m 15, I live in the United States, have a rocky relationship with my parents, have one younger brother, and I’m struggling.
I’m struggling to keep myself alive. I’m struggling to feel confident and accept myself. But I’ve found something to help. Color guard. So what is color guard? It’s a team that spins and throws: 6ft long metal flag poles, solid blocks of wood in the shape of a rifle, and sabers (swords). And yes, it’s a sport.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 10 years old, so that’s a grand total of 5 years. I […]
http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/16/us/snake-salvation-pastor-bite/
A pastor died recently from a poisonous snake bite. He believed that if you are “anointed by God” you can handle deadly serpents without getting hurt. Adherents to this faith draw their inspiration from a passage in the Bible. Mark 16: 17-18 “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name they shall cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing , it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover”.
After the pastor was bitten he refused medical treatment. He’d been bitten […]
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