General

This is my first post. I recently lost a family member to suicide. My family member used helium. I never knew about this was of suicide out of all my years of searching for a method. I did see that ******** will cause the person not to panic as the helium could. Having a panic disorder this is my only turn off. But both seem very painless. Before discovering this method sole only reason who I never went through with it was because of pain. Now that I have found a painless way to go I have to start saving the money. I want to […]

I will share a very brief intro about my past, I have attempted suicide 9 times in my past, 5 times ending me in a Psyche ward but none have permanently helped.
I do it to escape my life, because it gets unbearable sometimes, seeing as I lost my sister Match of this year, my engagement broke not too long ago, I was physically and sexually abused the end of last year (I am away from both the people who did that, luckily), I struggle with Bipolar disorder, my pain gets intense from flare up from Fibro, I have seizures, panic attacks, severe PTSD, etc… […]

That is all.

I’ve been severely paranoid for years. To the point of isolation, eating things that only come out of sealed packets that I buy, only drinking bottled water ect… I got better with the help of quetiapine and haloperidol. I’m currently looking after my niece and nephew and still taking my meds.. Before I came to care for them one of my best friends stopped talking to me.. She just ignored me and still is, at the same time another close friend that I had lost contact with started talking to me constantly.. The same day.. It wasn’t me that made contact either or provoked the […]

Hi,

I’m 23 and I feel like that’s all the time I need. I’ve been awash in suicidal depression since 9th grade. Right after high school me and a girl fell in love, and I was able to be happy occasionally. Well a few months ago she broke up with me, vaguely saying our lives were going different directions. She later admitted she was over me at least by December and broke up with me as a formality so she could immediately sleep with a guy from work who seduced her without technically having to cheat on me. I asked her how and why it could […]

Plain and simple I’m a fucked up person. I’m in horrible pain nearly every day of my life unless I’m doped up. And yes I do mean physical pain. It makes me treat the people I love in a way that shames me ever time I think about it. The bills keep piling up preventing me from seeking professional medical care, and because of whatever it is that’s wrong with me the only job I can manage to work is a minimum wage desk job. Every minute I’m at that job is agony. I just got married to the most amazing man in the world […]

I wanted to leave this as a sort of enduring statement, simply because it’s my last opportunity to leave one. Or at least it may be.

There is something seriously broken with this system. It is often said that suicide is irrational or insane, but I would like to state for the naysayers that it is the system we have created which is insane, brutish, cruel, unnecessary, and irrational.  If someone is no longer capable of living within the confines of this system, and lacks the resources to escape it, then suicide is the last option and the only remaining reasonable option.

For three years, I have […]

Well, after chatting to noonoo (like everybody does it seems haha) and telling her that I am an ‘aspiring’ singer and that my ‘hope’ is my singing, I thought I would share a couple of my newest links! :)  .. actually I dont know how to get video’s to go straight on to the page, So I’ll just do one … My hope .. My voice .. Wrathchild   (I think it plays  in windows media player) … btw  only for people who like iron maiden!

If anyone can tell me How you can get video’s embedded in the page, then let me know!

Whatever I try to do to get away from this, and to show who I am.. just fails.

I’m just labeled. You know what it’s like, to go anywhere in this town and have people talk down to you, or warn you? To work up my already dwindling self image only to have one word or evil glance just shatter it?

‘You’ isn’t anyone particular, it’s just a way to scream into the void.

I’m not posting my thoughts for any agenda other than you try and write my mind down. I’m not looking for your pity or sympathy. I’m not looking for your guilt.

You don’t have to […]

You can tell me your whole story below, explain why you’re not happy, why you are happy, anything.

ive gone for so long without slicing my skin. but the feeling of want has come yet again. i stare at the metal for hours on end. I dont want to smile. I cannot pretend. I swear the sadness is eating my soul. ive been made empty. no longer whole. ive gone for so long without slicing my skin. the feeling of want has come yet again..how long until i relapse again… (Psycho)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH2efAcmBQM

Maybe I should cry for help, maybe I should kill myself…

This is my first post and I’m ready for oblivion. My name’s Rob & I’m 42 and I’ve always known that I would commit suicide. My life sucks. My wife wants a divorce and I understand. I’m totally fucked up! We’ve been married for 18 yrs. and I’ve spiraled out of control in the last 5. Prescription drugs have been a monkey on my back for a long time. I use the pills to try to feel alive, without them, there’s nothing but a hole where others have happiness or at least contentment. I come by my on little flavor of insanity honestly, my father […]

This is kind of random so bear with me.

The thought came to me the other day that every time we think about killing ourselves that we are in fact killing a part of ourselves. Every imagined attempt, every longing not to be here on this earth, I think it’s slowly killing our hope, our chance at  joy, and our soul. I know we are all hurting or we wouldn’t be on this website and yet I feel we are here to look for hope, to openly express our brokenness without fear of being rejected, to draw the poison out of our systems. The desire to […]

Recently my house that I’ve lived in for my entire life has burned down and my family has moved multiple times since from house to house never actually settling down again. My parents got divorced soon after and I learned that it was because of an affair my mother had had with my soon to be stepdad not to mention I live almost completely full time with my mother so I see the man that ruined my parents relationship on almost a daily basis. I’ve read through a lot of posts and thought it was time to tell mine no matter how insignificant it might […]

A child
on the shore
combs for sand dollars and snails
empty houses of stone
from the remains of oysters and urchins
where once resided
scallop and starfish
mollusk and whelk
holding a conch to his ear
hears the empty conversation
from what once was inside.

Eagerly approaching the shore empty
on the tides for decades
they float along waves for miles
until they land upon the beach
and become buried
to be collected in pails
where hollowed things
can be pondered
with naïve curiosity
by the child.

And if he looks out to sea
from high posts
on mountains
and skyscrapers
he can see too the […]