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My feelings

by afriend4me
written by afriend4me

My past is a bad one   
I’ve learnt to hide
But some of you know it 
I can see in your eyes
So what do I do 
Where do I hide 
What are you thinking 
With misunderstood eyes
I carry my shame  
It’s all my fault 
 My life full of torture
I hide in my house
The silence not lasting
I am just the mouse 
The look in your eyes 
It drives me insane 
 Maybe just a smile 
Can ease my pain 
You don’t know my side 
It’s story untold 
With pen to paper 
All soon will be told 
So as we reflect 

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Dear Anyone Who Will Listen

by Nachtigall
written by Nachtigall

This is a journal entry that I wrote on the night of my 18th birthday a little more than a year ago. Recently I revisited it and I wanted to share it with you, both to hear your thoughts and to reaffirm my own. Here it is:

I’ve been thinking a lot about depression and by extension suicide lately. I’m not thinking of planing my own death (or rather carrying out the plans that I’ve already made). I’m just trying to think about it on an intellectual level. This is difficult because Suicide and depression are matters of emotion but I though I would try anyway. […]

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Please read this and tell me what you think

by I.cant.breathe!
written by I.cant.breathe!

She doesn’t know how to cope.
She doesn’t see any light.
So she picks up a blade
and cries the whole night.

He drowns his demons
With whiskey and pills
He’s fully aware,
of how much it kills.

She dreams of flight.
But not like the birds.
She just slices through air.
Without any words.

He’ll catch his train,
To the land of dreams
While the life he left behind,
Tears at it’s seams.

I’ll go soon enough but for now
I’ll just wait.
For my demons to guide me to my
dark,
dark,
fate.

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A friend 4 me

by afriend4me
written by afriend4me

The last 3 years off my life has been hell and I have suffered from suicide attempts and self harm. I have wrote my story down but it is 500 pages long and too big for here. I am trying to publish it to promote awareness for mental health. I have made a video of it on YouTube. You can look up a friend 4 me – diary of a suicide survivor. If anyone can point me in the right direction I would be very greatful. Thankyou.

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this is the end

by Stacie
written by Stacie

i realzied iam the biggest pieace of shit that can exist i somehow make others around me to try to commit sucide somehow by just being myself there is no help for me anymore

at all  I have called people tryed to reach out and i have a love that i dont feel is been returnted i know its stupid to say goodbye on the computer like some kind of attention ply mabe i do want attention but mondays are the hardest i dont care anymore no one cares about me i might as wel be invisible right now so goodbye iam sick of it i […]

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Again?

by Cyd
written by Cyd

Haven’t I done this before? Shouldn’t the shaking hands and bone aches and sniffly nose have stopped by now? I mean it’s been, what, seven months now? Isn’t that enough? Jesus. Sobriety isn’t worth it if this is what it comes with. I thought physical withdrawals were supposed to stop after a couple months. Does anyone know if it’s even fucking possible for them to go away and come back again later? Or is this all a mental ting? I don’t want to relapse 3 days before I graduate, so I would love to know if I’m just losing it or if this is just […]

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Undertow

by Ignorance
written by Ignorance

Rip currents choking me constantly. No matter the amount of pot smoked, or the amount of Prozac consumed. Torturous and stabbing thoughts barge into my mind and kill the newborn happiness and peace with their burning hot swords. The pain is sour, hot, liquid fire. It erodes the walls of my mind that act as a nursery to the best parts of me; the healthy parts of me. Trying with all of it’s might not to tumble over and lose the battle, the walls of my mind rattle and shake to stay erect and guard over my inner happiness. It sends shock waves down my […]

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do i deserve to belong here?

by Hiphopanddrop
written by Hiphopanddrop

Hi people, been like this for as long as i can remember, most of my problems are from me being lazy, i mean apparently a doctor says i’ve got depression too but truthfully i just think its my own stupid fault. I’m a big, lazy fat, 20 year old who spends his days indoors doing nothing, I see you great, amazing people and i wonder am i allowed to complain, you people are having to live through the real problems and i don’t feel like i should be allowed to complain. I’ve wanted to kill my self for such a long time now, though I’m […]

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by MichelleJ
written by MichelleJ

I’m watching The Bridge documentary, and someone reckons they have no answer for why people commit suicide. That’s because they don’t understand tat the answer is simply that people are in too much pain to live any more. Suicide is an answer. Just because to some it’s the wrong answer, doesn’t make it not the answer. And saying “Oh I don’t know the answer to why people kill themselves”, doesn’t make the answer any less deniable. It’s right there in front of these religious goody-two-shoes if they’d choose to open their eyes. They may be caring, some of those people that is, but that’s not […]

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Reaching out.

by sdell
written by sdell

We all know why I’m here, so let’s get straight to the point.

I’m not totally unhappy with my life, but… I honestly feel hollow and depressed, and I lack a purpose for existence. I know that should I end my life my family would be devastated, but don’t I deserve to be happier as well? I’m convinced that killing myself will bring me peace, yet I don’t want to be so rash in my decisions. Can anyone give me some advice?

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by MichelleJ
written by MichelleJ

I had a good day today. I went for a walk, came home and cooked lunch for myself. If I have good days like these, it means I won’t be killing myself for a very very long time. If all goes well, I’ll be an old woman when I die, even if by suicide.

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My purpose

by C1223
written by C1223

It’s weird. I read everyone else’s stories and I see a light in every story. I feel like everyone can get better. Even when things seem hopeless. Everyone except me. I see no way out other than death. I know I will only be happy when I end it, or when god ends it for me. I pray at least once a day god will kill me naturally because it would be better for everyone that way. However, I guess since it would actually make me happy to finally die of natural causes, god of course keeps me here in this prison of a body. […]

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I Feel Bad For My Counselor

by thinkimready
written by thinkimready

I have a great, great counselor. We’ve been through a lot together but things took a turn for the worse in my life about a year and a half ago and then I became physically injured on top of that. I had a list of phrases he helped come up with that used to help but now they no longer help. Like “I’m bigger than this” but I’m not, what I’m dealing with is bigger than me. I have fought and fought fought and almost made it, almost won but then I got smacked down and I can’t seem to beat my physical problems. I’m […]

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I almost died today

by chairomy
written by chairomy

I was ready to die today. I’ve been afraid of dying by stabbing myself or my organs, due to having severe abodyemigphobia. But my house is fairly tall, I could jump, I could at least break something if I didn’t die. I’ve been wanting to commit suicide for a while now, I’m a worthless human being, who would care? I’ve even posted death threats and not one person cared. So I was slowly opening my window, thinking that I was finally going to be free, that this was the right thing to do. But I heard my mom come in, and remembered how disappointed my […]

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<3 transcends the youniverse

by inf1n1
written by inf1n1

we are forever in the moment as 1 this dream a shared illusion  an eternal cycle of being and becoming and non being untill we find what we are looking for without fear our trueself we follow the trend and look outward but we seek in the wrong places 1 does not follow any religion but quoting jesus “the kingdom of heaven is within”  for we are like elastic bands we drop ourselfs into shit make ourselfs feel and experience negative things untill we finally break and release that energy and let go surrender our egos and fly and be free oceans of bliss and […]

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Dispite the fact that this is not a personal chatting site I still hope I can fine some one to talk to.Dispite my my family and the friends I ,worked so hard to make, I find my self looking for some one to connect with.Dispite the fact that I found an awesome friend that got me in ever way that I couldn’t possibly crush on, becuase he was gay, I still ruined our friend ship by not being able to talk to him any more. Dispite finding and other cool person later one I still ran away becuase white guys don’t like tall black chicks. Dispite the fact I had a guy friend who liked me and was black I still couldn’t bear to let him hang out with such a boring, poor, unatractive person, when he can do much better. Dispite the fact that I am goraphobic messed up in most ways I still want to go out and just hang out with the people that shine brighter than the sun. Dispite the fact that I am a dark cloud pouring down rain and lighting. Dispite the fact i haven’t been lonely in three years I still feel the despair of being so diffrent that even is I was accepted by people no one should dare want to hang out with some one like me, even if they said they did I will only be a disappointment and a waste of time . I don’t know………….society is made for money, bright personalities,pretty people, and people who are smart. No matter how hard you try something’s are impossible to gain,I guess you only can work hard to fake it by make up, studying, and following thougths with the bright lives………….Dispite the fact this is not a personal chatting site I still hope for so e one to talk to even if it’s only short…..lol ……I like the terms for this site ….it’s ironic ……by reading it you still hope for what the terms say don’t hope for……lol….^^

by animerocks500
written by animerocks500
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No Exit

by Jon
written by Jon

I’m not expecting much. There’s little risk here.

A man jumps from the tenth story of a building. A crowd gathers – though not too close – to the scene of the act. You always need one person to alarm the ambulance; perhaps one to call the police, too.  I’d recommend someone to clean up the mess.

The rest are mere witnesses. In all, a heartbreak for a few, an inconvenience for some, perhaps an envious end for others.

Now, there is someone else: the person looking down from the ledge. It’s hard to see them, as they’re so high up. There’s the obvious distraction down below, as […]

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I’m trapped

by iFree
written by iFree

I’m not sure if I should post this but here is the list of why I want to kill myself

I wouldn’t think of killing myself if it was a temporary crisis

I feel so trapped in

1- my country

a woman in saudi arabia has no life at all only if she was lucky enough

in my case i don’t have the luck

women are not allowed to drive I’ve lost a job because I couldn’t find anyone to arrive me to workplace

and now I gave up trying to find a job .. it is like i don’t want to go through this again

anyway my dream is to continue my studying […]

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I’m a monster.

by Jayykeith3312
written by Jayykeith3312

I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore. The fear of being alone seems to consume me. These girls who say they love me, they can’t be serious. How could they love me when they haven’t tried to know me. I’m not trying to lead them on. I’m just too nice to tell them what I really think. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. I’ve been thinking about death again. But is death what I want currently? I don’t have the desire to sleep except when I wake up in the morning because sleeping is much easier than going through the day. Sometimes being […]

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Up At Dawn

by raincloudz
written by raincloudz

i think theres something up with me. it takes me forever to fall asleep (if i do). smoking doesnt do anything and i dont want to have to drink myself to sleep every night. i have no appetite despite my growling stomach. i know i need to eat and thats really the only reason i eat now, because i know i have to. i have no desire to do anything or be around anyone or talk with anyone lately and most of the time i wish everyone would leave me alone for a while. everything seems monotonous. everything seems banal. all i want to do […]

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