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i feel all alone.
sometimes i just do not think i am going to make it.
one of these times i will be right.
maybe tomorrow. maybe tonight.
it is a nice night for a flight.
It’s nearly midnight and what’s happening? The thoughts are returning…..The voices are speaking..no, YELLING at me >.< I can hear them now….. “Die ***** die!” “Who says you’re worth living?” “You don’t deserve to live. Your own parents didn’t even want you. HA!”
The thoughts destroy me, kill me, suffocate me, eat me alive. My demons…they’re real. They exist. I don’t want to go on but..I have to. Not just for myself. I’m not living for myself anymore. I’m living for him. And her. For them. They may not care about me but I love them with all my heart.
It’s like…I can scream at them and […]
There’s a club, if you’d like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
http://youtu.be/O8bHRFm85hM
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home
And you cry
And you want to die
When you say it’s gonna happen now,
Well when exactly do you mean?
See I’ve already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
I’m a weak person but just a few people keep me strong enough to survive!
I’m a weak person but these few people won’t give up on me so unless they and my docs give up, I can’t…
I can’t remember when I haven’t felt like I am  just waking up because I have to. If it was physically possible just to continue to sleep – I would. I hate facing the day. I drive home hurt and scared and angry every day. I fail as a wife, I fail at being what I feel I should at my job…I am a burden of misery to my best friend whom I ***** to every day. She moves to Germany soon and I know our friendship will fade away. Every day is the same. Most nights during the week I just cry myself to sleep.
People keep […]
I don’t know why I feel this way
I don’t know why I do this to myself
I don’t know why I cry so much
I don’t know why I tried to kill myself
I don’t know why I push everyone away
I don’t know why I feel so alone
I don’t know why I am anxious
I don’t know why you hate me
But then again i think i do.
This Girl That I Love That Is MY Girlfriend cares about another guy and not me i love her so much im so bliend But i still love her she hurts me cuz she kisses the cheek of another guy and kisses him i love S and it hurts me knowing she just playing with me
I never keep promises unless I reeeeeeeally have to
The only reason I keep any promises is when either the law or the medical establishment forces me to keep them…
I’m a survivor and haven’t yet killed myself, nor have I gone with counting down five years from now to die at my own hands, because I was made to swear that I wouldn’t attempt suicide again, nor ask to be helped to die again, by who? The fucking doctors. I love them, yet they give me a hard burden to bear. I love one friend in this world, a few family members only.
I never believed in […]
Kinda reminds me of Marilyn Manson a bit. Â It’s fitting to my state of mind. Â For some reason I can’t get embedding to work, sorry.
I’ve posted about my mother before and how we really don’t get along. I am so sick of having to sit and listen to her complain about my dad, and now she’s saying that he’s making us move house for his own reasons (I don’t live with my dad, he won’t have me). Then she said it, that when we move house she wants me to go and live somewhere else. She’s happy for my 22-year-old brother to stay with her and my 19-year-old sister, but not me. What are you supposed to do when even your own mum doesn’t want you?
Thirteen reasons why
Learn from Hannah Baker’s mistakes
I did
Today i am accepting the fact masturbation ruined my life and i am tired of masturbating everyday is there anyone in the whole world who masturbate a lot i am very tired of doing it and i do not know how to stop this habit but i am just in shame today too much because i am very much tired of doing it and i do not want to do that anymore it is not stress reliever for me it is eating my life my body ruined because of masturbation i look very thin and i always use to be tired because of this habit […]
i did it again, i’m just sitting here waiting and wondering how is it, in all this years you never realize the marks on my arms, or the blood on my clothes.
i wonder how would you feel is you knew that every single cut i make myself is because of you mom.
it really doesn’t matter anymore. Im just tired.
im just waiting for something that tell me that is time, that i should cut deeper and try to sleep.
She is cutting again
she cant hide here pain
blood flowing from her veins
and they call her insance
She is insecure again
but the marks she made
in her room last night
with the only way she finds
She is pulling her sleeves down
she is crying all along
the way to her school
is not so far
She is afraid
to face the crowd
she better know
they will make her drown
she don’t want
to go back to the place
full of insults
and an unwanted pain
they call it school
she calls it hell
because that’s the only place
where she lost herself
And now
she is down again
but it’s not her fault
why every time she should pay
She is going back
to her home
but she cant bear
this […]
Nothings getting easier but I think I’m slowly getting stronger.
I’ve been on a slippery slope for months.
I have a health problem that has driven me demented, lLiterally have not been able to relax or think straight for so long now and there is nothing anyone can do to take away this mental anguish.
I feel close to the edge. I have a beautiful Family and Friends and had a fantastic life before the onset of this ailment but now I feel the day is coming where I can’t carry on.
I am so ashamed to do this to the ones I love, but I’ve reached a point where I am beyond coping, my lust for life […]
i started hallucinating about 4 days ago. Â i also have a voice in my head. i fight with it a lot. it tells me everything it hates about me, about how i don’t deserve to be happy no matter how much i wish i was.. and it hurts. i used to say those things to myself, and now a part of me got cut off and just lives in my head. i’ll have a good time with my friends, and it will tell me not to smile because my smile is ugly. i’ll put makeup on and it will tell me nothing can fix my […]
They say that when jump off a building, before you touch the ground, your whole life flashes before you. Sometimes I want to try and do it. So that I may know if what they say is true. And if it’s true, I wanna know if the life I have been living is a good one.
I am facing a lot of problems lately. I am already at my 8th year in college and still have not graduated. I already have a son but I am not in good terms with his mother. I have a lot of debt; I just been kicked out of my […]
“What’s up?”
“… Nothing.”
I had to steady myself before replying. Thankfully my voice comes out normal and calm. I don’t want anyone to know about it.
I calmly walk to my room, collapse on the floor, lean against the door and just cry.
I’m selfish. Stupid. Arrogant. A waste of money. A waste of time. A waste of energy. Fat. Lazy. Ugly.
Sink down, lying on floor.
Gay. Retard. ******. Dirty. Liar.
Even if I did leave, there would still be those at school who would just laugh at me.
Lol. She’s such an emo.
I’ve been crying to the point that it hurts […]
You look into your drawer
to find your thing
which can hide your pain
give you relief
But
i want you to know
before you pick up your razor
i love you
and this love is much easier
I will pick you up
when you feel like falling
i will hold you tight
when your razor is calling
i will kiss your eyes
when you tearing apart
i will give you everything
and all the love you want
I will sit with you
share your pain
i will love you everyday
this love will never end
when you will be alone
with your razor and knives
i ll come and say
baby you don’t need this
come with me
i will show you what i believe in
I will take you on […]