General

I guess my poor soul ain’t worth a damn.

Well, I can’t really say that. My mom is currently working her butt off to wrap presents, she doesn’t want any help, even though I said I’d help. My eldest brother is listening to rap blaring in my room (aka living room, and I hate rap.) and the only fun I’ve had to far is going out with my other brother for a half hour doing doughnuts in the parking lots around us, in the street, and in an open field. We ruined some damn good daisies and weeds, but it was awesome!

Mom says that we’ll open […]

WHAT THE FUCK ?!? I just woke up from a coma like  today o.O i guess stabbing myself in the stomach wasn’t good enough. humans can be so pathetically resistant. my mom gave me my laptop back. i’m in hospital now (D’uuuuh) hate the smell … hate the white shits everywhere. hate myself for missing myself. i mean what kind of idiot except for me takes a goddamn samurai sword, plunge it into his stomach, litterally bleeds to death, and still lives? seriously is it some kind of bad joke from the creator? giving my mom the only gift she wanted?  i refused to take […]

Why do I feel so lonely? Could never imagine before that it’s possible to feel this lonely and I can’t shake this feeling. It’s holding me down and it hurts.

I finally found something to take away this horrible pain in my heart and keep my mind off things… It seems alcohol really does help me forget.. and helps this pain in my heart! I know what ill be doing from now on.. never been much of a drinker but finally! I found something to take my mind off him and I don’t get that terrible knot in the stomach feeling! YAY!!

This may get deleted as this may be considered “hateful” in some peoples eyes, but maybe this post can at least be seen by some of you guys, and reach out to you.  This website does not help you in any way.

But you see, I am upset. A very close friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago, and he was subscribed to this website. This website may have been created for people dealing with depression as some type of support group, but from what I’ve read this is just a bunch of people saying how they hate their lives or talking about how […]

my mom used to get fucked up fuck my friends and beat me but in sept. she tried to commet suicide because ima pice of shit to days later my hole world falls apart… my dad died on sept. 23 i was the one that found him i looked at him and i knew but i didn’t want to i walk up to him say daddy and put my hand on his chest it was the worst coldness iv ever felt i still knew but i still didn’t want to i ran to my best friends house holding back tha tears as soon as i […]

I don’t know why i keep trying to fix my life when i have no control anyways. My dad committed suicide when i was 3. I was sexually abused when i was 6. my family is broken. I wanted to go to law school but i can never focus to study because i feel like such a loser. I finally start to lose weight and then something happens and i get depreased and start emotionally eating again. I dont think anyone truly cares for me. I feel so alone and im tired of hurting myself. I just want everything to end.

so much pain coming from all the posts and no one that wants to talk about it.

Why are things like this? I just hate all of this. I dont want to be here, or anywhere. I want to be gone. Im tired of feeling alone. Im not happy. Im tired of going to school and running to the bathroom to cry, and cut, because of the shit people say to me. I dont want discouragement. I want more push. I dont care who it will hurt. Itll make things so much better. Believe me. I dont have him anymore. He used me. Left. My parents hate me. I cant do anythimg right with them. Im a walking failure. The imperfect daughter.thats […]

“Fuck a friend I dont even trust my own shadow”

SWHTX,BST5600

Holidays,they SUCK NOW!!!!What ever happen to qoinq to my cousins house?What ever happen to one of my family members dressinq up like santa clause?Now every christmas I qet dropped off a block away from house so I can have some time to sober up.I qet home and Its time to open presents.After that everyones up for another hour and then they fall asleep while Im alwake on youtube smokinq a sweet In relief that Its over

Oh wait theres new years,damn It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When i was around 13 a close family friend took me on holiday. He abused me. Not badly in fact i dont even think what he did was bad. Until a medic told me so. Anyway i started dressing strange in ways that would bring attention to myself. When people were shocked at what i was doing i liked the attention. Then i got married to a wonderful wife. Then after around 7 years i went into self destruct. I hated myself and wanted to be abused again. I would sleep with anyone that wanted to sleep with me. I got divorced and desperately wanted […]

I want to write a poem for everyone on this site. I just need some help on what to include in it. I know everyone is capable of helping! so please do.

There are people out their who love you more than you will ever know….

I’ve taken all the pills I’ve been saving in my little plastic bag. Not as many as I hoped but I still figure there’s maybe a 20% chance I won’t wake up tomorrow. Now that’s the first happy thought I’ve had in months

if i die let it be known that I neveplanned to kill myself on Christmas eve, and it’s had absolutely nothing to do with the dayBut it just so happened that I checked the mail today for the first time in weeks, and I got a letter… two actually… That sent me over the edge.

But Christmas really is a good day to die. […]

It’s only an hour and a half until the annual Christmas party for my dad’s side of the family.

I used to dread this day. It meant seeing my cousin that touched me under the guise of “wrestling” when I was eleven. My dad would always ask, “What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you just be normal for today?” Yes, he knew but my mom always told me that he never wanted to believe it. Now I’m an adult and like the rest of the family I just tell myself it never happened.

Oh, but who cares you got your white Christmas.