For general topics related to the site.
i don’t know why but when my life was maybe a little better i was cutting.
now, my lifes even worse and i don’t have the guts to cut.
what’s wrong with me? i just want to make the pain go away and yet i can’t?
everyday., im physically and mentally exhausted.
I hate waking up and i just want to lie there and never move ever again.
somedays i wish the world was covered in black. darkness all around.
someday i wish everybody would die. someday i wish i was all alone.
The needle for your soul and the steel and concrete for your body: double-barreled hell. It is known as desolation unknown. And yet, somehow, I don’t know how, it is known. From this perspective, it would be rather nice to have my brains blown out. So I used self torture as a focus to distract from desolation unknown, my only rule was: do not tear the skin. I urinated on my feet to keep them warm, but at least I had urine. Because after two days, I was given water. It makes very little difference if you are on the inside or if you are […]
plain and simple. I’ve gone through the motions, made people think I’m a positive and happy person, but the overwhelming, undeniable truth is that I’m miserable. I welcome death 95% of the time, wishing it would find me, as I don’t want my children and family dealing with a suicide. I live near a mesa, it’s beautiful, has large cliffs ….what if I could make it look like an accident? Oops, I slipped and plummeted to my death. What a shame. I’ve fantasized about this scenario almost everyday for a year….but every time I make it up to the top my endorphins are pumping from […]
I’m falling apart and I’m so sick of trying, I’m so fucking sick of it, because I’m fighting so hard and I have been for so long but things are only getting worse no matter what I do.
I’m 17 and this shouldn’t be happening. I’ve been clinically depressed for over a year now, been self harming for a while, and have an eating disorder (bulimia). I’ve taken 2 overdoses in the past and have been admitted to hospital for 1 of these. I’ve also been admitted another 2 times for suicidal ideation/self harm. So that’s my story I guess.
My […]
Another reason to kill myself.. Oh how ‘happy’ that makes me. My family doesn’t accept me for who I am and neither do my friends.. No one is there for me. Like I care though. Okay yeah I admit it- I am emo. And most people think us emo’s are heartless souls. Well that’s not true. Always sitting in a dark, cold corner crying.. Does anyone know what it’s like? It’s painful. Maybe some of you reading this will understand.. I always feel as if I am unimportant, unloved, and unwanted. Oh great I ju- Every ‘quiz’ I take says my life is fu(ked up.. […]
You know what feels like it sucks the worst about depression and wanting to off yourself? It’s knowing that really, when you get right down to it, no amount of therapy, psychotropic pharmaceuticals or loving intervention-type talks with family and friends is going to “cure” you. You have to go through the pain of taking steps and accepting help and being receptive to the above to make yourself well when you really have stopped caring (or think you’ve stopped caring) whether you get well or don’t get well.
I was making a presentation today for a job interview and I came to the conclusion that I don’t really care about it. It doesn’t matter if I have the best job in the world, or if im smarter than anyone else. If im alone then I am the loser in the end.
So I am going to organize my life around the correct priorities. So no more games. they just numb the pain of being alone. This site is kind of doing the same. I spend a lot of time here and I guess its probably not the best thing for me. I should be going places and doing things. Which is very […]
im a crazy cat lady, i know 😛 this is pickle, he has three legs, hes energetic, this is the best shot i could get 😛
“Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.”
Does this strike anyone else as true? Staring hypnotically at NOTHING (which accurately describes the content of most shows) cripples us spiritually, mentally and emotionally in ways that most don’t realize.
Kill your TV!
The fact of knowing that i might not get better drives me close to a dead end, maybe life its self is tryna get rid of me, pray to not take me away but then again give me a reason to stay ?
Today I stood there with 50 tablets infront of me. I could of done it but I didn’t. All I thought of was my best friend Charlotte. She tells me things will get better and people are there. Im fed up of the same speech from everyone. You’re not in my head or in my life. Nobody gets it. I just want to be happy
What’s the definition of insanity? I’m uncertain of everything now. Who I am, who my friends are, and who is actually there for me. Does anyone actually care? The amount of hate I get from everyone online constantly bitching about me and half of them don’t even know me. I can’t even get a bus without comments being yelled at me. People who promised to stay by my side have left me. I don’t know how much more I can take
I think it’s possible I might have the hardest life of anyone in the world.
I love someone, I’ve loved her for 2 years since we first talked on Skype. She is from Colombia, I’m from Canada. We have never met but we talk all the time, on facebook… & have talked many times on Skype. The only problem is… I was sent to a mental institution, because my parents called the police & told them I was psychotic. I was just visiting my parents house over christmas, & I think my meditations & abundance of energy kind-of freaked them out. Anyways, the cops came… and […]
Say a person is destined to suffer for the rest of their life, what are they supposed to do, learn to accept it, and live the remainder of their life in pain and anguish, misery and despair?
Dear God
I hate you, you’re an asshole. Why am I still alive? You can’t do this to me, this is not fair and you know it. You have millions for torture, why me?  Is this some kind of revenge? This is a mistake and you’re  wrong. Is not fair and you can’t do this, is the worst thing you’ve ever done. Why you didn’t kill me, as you promised? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never.
If you’re going through hell, keep going.
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
I used to think positively.. I used to believe that everything I could see beyond all the bull the world has put in front of me, of us, was beautiful. I used to admire what beauty the world offered us beyond the structure of tall buildings and society itself, beyond the pure ignorance of these fellow people who believe their opinions should rise above those of anyone else.. I’m simply disgusted. Disgusted that I’ve been alive for the years that I have and still feel like I’ve nothing to show for it. Disgusted that I somehow believed that after all I’ve given with nothing to […]