General

I left sp for a short while cuz life was getting better. This month fucked over….I’m done complaining about my “terrible” life now seeing how things can get better. I don’t wanna be seen as a complainer (which is what I think some of u r thinking of me as) so I won’t complain. I’m fine haven’t cut in a while not sure how long exactly. I don’t THINK im suicidal anymore I’ve been thru enough this month to tell or maybe I’m just letting things go i dont know. I’m a lot happier I guess if I was to compare myself now and me […]

Hello,

I seriously think about killing myself quite frequently. However, I still haven’t done it. I hope that through this post I can discuss the rationality behind killing oneself. The following are a few facts/axioms which should be read before proceeding to the discussion:

Fact: Humans seek pleasure and avoid pain

Humans are biological organisms. Our genes tell us to obtain that which feels good, and avoid that which feels bad. This is a common trait of all animals and plants. We humans are the best creatures there are at securing pleasure and dodging pain. We can think! We can use our brains fight of predators in incredible ways and […]

Tired. Can’t sleep.  I can’t remember  what it feels like to not be tired. Stumbled upon this site, seemed like a good idea…. I never feel good enough, I can get all the compliments in the world from all the right people and I just feel like they’retelling me lies. I never sleep anymore, my backhurts to the point that I can’t do what I enjoy. Guess I’m just starting to lose sight of the point of it all again. Worst part is that I no longer have any friends..

Tears are words that need to be written

I just want to end it tonight.
I’ve got it all planned out.

I’ve been thinking about it for awhile. 

There’s nothing stopping me.
It will work this time. 

It has to.

It’s been 3 weeks since I was released from hospital. Think I’m relapsing. I’m sitting in front of my computer at work feeling like crying for no particularly good reason.

I wish that I could cry. I feel that if I could let the tears come out, this pain would leave me too, for a time. But I sit here, and nothing happens. No tears; barely a hint of emotion crosses my face, save inexplicable exhaustion.

Today is Monday. It feels like Friday.  I’m dreading what promises to be a week of Fridays, but I stand determined. I will make it through this week. That’s what I’m […]

It really feels like my brain is corroding, I shake my head violently in some sad attempt to “wake up” I feel like i am always trapped in a dream state, spacing out. Been physically sick for around 2 years now, unsure of what the cause is, ive been to many doctors, had many tests done, they cant find anything. what can i do if I still feel sick constanly but doctors cant solve it? what else is there to try? ive gone through my head endlessly making lists of the symptoms and trying to put together some diagnosis but I cant figure it out

i have this feeling that god hates me

SO hey im secily but most people call me sec. If you really knew me you would know that I was a mistake. A baby that was made from a drunken night being knocked up. My mom has never really been there for me she’s a bit crazy if you ask me, and had my two brothers and i with different men. I have lived with my dad since the age of 3 we don’t always get along. and sometimes we get into big fights, he just yells at me. im 14 will be 15 in January. I was always jelly of other kids at […]

i have almost made it three months without relapsing…sometimes i wish if i should continue pushing

Actually had a decent night. No horrible event to speak of. Did what I wanted and nothing more  and nothing that I wish didn’t. Just tired and going to sleep (in hopes that nothing can go wrong if I’m asleep)

I know the pain of wanting to die. I felt it for several months all alone before anyone found out what I’d been doing to myself in order to cope. I had a good few goes at it-mostly overdosing on pills, useless, disgusting, nauseating pills. I began to realise I wasn’t going to die after my third attempt. I downed 190 over the counter painkillers and all that happened was a blissful uninterrupted sleep till the early hours of the morning when I woke up and spewed the lot up. Of course I felt a bit dizzy and weak for the rest of the day […]

I have a thing, I don’t know if it’s just an overactive imagination, of if there’s something really wrong with me, whether mentally or physically. I’ll be perfectly fine at one moment. then all of a sudden, I’m paranoid, depressed, extremely empty and alone and suicidal, even though I have my family and friends all around me.

I have no idea what happens to me, I’ve tried googling the symptoms, like I always do, and I get absolutely nothing. Am I just a nervous wreck? I have no idea.  FUN, FUN, fun..

It’s the same thought, always the same thought that eventually creeps back in to my brain…even when things seem to be getting better, it always goes back downhill and I’m left sitting on my own, tears sliding down my face saying that mantra over and over to myself! Every time I struggle to pick myself up I get shoved back down. Maybe I’m just too selfish, I nenes to stop focusing on myself, but isn’t everyone, doesn’t everyone consider themselves to be the centre of their own little universe? I’m not a bad person, I don’t steal, I don’t lie, I treat others how I […]

I haven’t exactly lived a terrible life. My parents are still married  and materialistically they’ve always given me the things I want. I even continue to ask for more things to try and make myself feel better and relieve the mental torture I put myself through, but nothing helps. Yes they’ve given me the things I’ve wanted but I feel like they’ve never given me the love that I need and want. My parents don’t seem to understand me, especially my dad who isn’t very open minded. I feel like everything I do isn’t good enough to them and that I just make their life […]

Hello It’s nice being on here I knew to do so but Ebionites be my friend 😥😰

Without Chris I can’t live or breathe. He was everythingand im   tierd of the pain. If any guys would care to show me every guy is not the same then do so now. I have a knife ready.