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Why do i make my moms life harder? Â Everyone looks down on me and wishes i wasnt around. Maye i shoudnt be around. Maybe their lives would be better
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Im a disgrace, and embarassment. My sistes embarrassed to call me her sister. My bother is ashamed of me. My mother is tired of me. Im tired of myself. I dont even know what to do anymore. No one listens to me. No one wants me.
I Feel Numb. My aunt Sue is in the hospital, she’s getting a surgery that should hopefully remove her breast cancer. When MaSue told me all I could do was sit there speechless thinking “this can’t be happening to another aunt.†But somehow I’m more at peace with the fact that she has breast cancer than I am at peace with how I’m handling it. Shouldn’t I be crying? Shouldn’t I be worried? Shouldn’t I be freaking out like the rest of us? I feel empty inside; heartless. Maybe it’s because death is more comforting to me than the living, either way I feel horrible for being emotionless and I hate […]
Hey I’m mike, I’m 24 now, I’ve been on this site for a while. I’ve come and gone. Had my up’s and down’s. Right now i find myself somewhere inbetween. I find strength in all of you and nothing makes me happier than reaching out to you and listening to each of your stories. If you’re like me then you know doctors suck and family just makes matters worse. You don’t want to talk to them, you want to talk to people with the same scars as you. Many of your stories can definitely top mine. I’ve read them and I feel for each and […]
After coming home from school, my ride dropped me off at my sisters smoothie shop. There my sister barely talked to me, and barely made any eye contact with me. I tried acting normal and trying to talk to her,but she wouldnt say anything.  I sat at one of the tables ani took out my books to do my homework. My sister said someing and i didnt hear her so i asked her to  repeat it. Then she started to say all this shit about me. She started saying things such as, youre a disgrace, im embarrassed to call you mysister, youre inresponsible,  and you […]
I couldn’t do it. I got home from sneaking out, couldn’t get back in, had to call my parents then got yelled at. Heaps of guilt! YAY! They’re at wits end with me, said they wished I’d just get it over with. Well you know what? I wish that too. I don’t know why it hurts so goddamn much, and I have no reason for this pain. My life is perfect, and with these pills I can’t feel anything. I fucking hate it. I can’t cry, I’m empty, broken, alone within myself. I hate me, the girl who looks like an attention whore but only […]
You told me you were a cutter too. You told me you’ve felt the darkness. You told me a lot of things.
But you lied. I saw your body yesterday. There were no gags in your flesh, no signs that you’ve been there and back. And I stood before you and exposed myself, every gaping wound that streaked my arms and legs. I bet you aren’t really depressed. You’re the definition of attention whore.
I thought I found someone who knew who I was. But now you’re an entirely different person. And now you’re dead to me.
Just like I am.
But jokes on you. […]
My boyfriend told me to kill myself. I cant leave him. I don’t know what to do.
Should I just do it.
I’ve never been a person who believes in the supernatural but there’s one curse I truly believe in which is my own life, or should I say, my family and I. This is my first post on here so I’ll make this relatively brief but from my outlook my family is cursed and I’m the one worst off. Mother and father divorced at age 3/4, sister in foster care by age 8/9 after serious drug problems causing mental health issues. My mother and uncle dont talk to one another any more after my uncle decided to believe a bunch of lies his wife said about […]
whats so hard about doing what someone asks when your asked to do it. its pretty fucking simple right. you get up off your fat ass, move a little and complete a task. so what the fuck why dont you do it??? GET UP OFF YOUR WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT ASS AND DO IT. FUCKING GOD DAMN IT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SAY IT SO MANY TIME THAT THEY JUST DO IT THEMSELVES???? At some point they’re going to realize its pointless to have your around.
I can’t share this song I wrote with anyone else because my life is going well at the moment, and I don’t want everyone to go batshit. I have a horrible MP3 of this recorded using my phone if anyone’s interested.
How do you hope when someone else is hurt,
How will you dress their wounds while you’re lying in the dirt?
Your hope is nothing but foolish pride,
You think you’re in love but you’re empty inside.
Keep your toes on the edge of the platform,
The train will come, and heal your wounds.
Walk up to that ledge and close your eyes,
Take a breath […]
I DON’T WANT TO LET YOU WIN! I REALLY DON’T! .. but its the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face and it hurts so so bad. I want to fight but only for so long. I want to be better, I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Why can’t it just stop. If there are miracles then why can’t I be blessed with one. I fucking deserve it. Why can’t I just go to the store and end up with my soul mate. Why am I so alone? I don’t know if I’m strong enough anymore. There is still something there though, this little tiny […]
Being happy.. Is possible. No matter how far away from ending your life you are. Don’t believe me? Days ago I was in my room.. No one was home.. And it was raining. I sat on my bed, with my brain spinning with ideas of suicide. One came up that I could do.. Painless.. Simple.. Perfect. I got my supplies. As I sat on my bed minutes away from death so many thoughts were running through my head. My sister.. Prom.. College.. Teaching.. Having a wedding.. Children.. Friends.. Graduating.. And growing old. So many things I wanted to achieve before I left this life behind. […]
I’ve been reading through a lot of posts over the last few days and I have too say get a grip Some of you. I’m 34 years old and reading some of the comments on here you really don’t have a clue. I’ve been there as a 14 year old and the girl that I love so much has split up with me so I slit my wrists. At 15 I got started on by 7 people my own age and all I could do was run away as fast as I could or literally get kicked to death. I was so ashamed to run […]
I don’t know what to do
all i feel is pain
IÂ don’t know what to do
IÂ think I’m going insane
This is killing the last of me
I don’t know what happened but I’ve lost my way
No one seems to care
but I think they just don’t know what to say
I’m trying to hold in
but whats to lose when you lost it all
you won’t believe anything I say
Not unless you see what I’ve saw
I’ve been through pain like you wouldn’t believe
But you don’t […]
As the title states, this is my first post. I don’t even know what  to say except that life feels meaningless.
If I wasn’t such a chicken shit I’d probably have offed myself back in college, but I’ve always been too scared to do it.
My depression started like a spiderweb crack– at first, it was isolated, but now it has spread and I feel like I bring misery to everyone who loves me. I lose everyone who gets close to me because they meet me and I seem so great and bubbly and fun to be with, and then they slowly have to watch me sink […]
All is lost. I am alone. Just one thing left, the round. Now, when? Soon,,,
I really don’t see the point of waking up every morning. Why should I even bother on it? When I’m not depressed I become angry as fuck. I don’t understand this world, and I don’t really want to.
Every single day of my life is a torture for me.
This is not a story of hope, even though it starts of like one.
It’s been five years since I first tried to kill myself via exit bag, after six years of depression. After that failed attempt, I decided that if I wasn’t going to die, then I was going to try to live. I decided to do everything I could to leave my old life behind – family, friends… everything.
Things started getting better career/work-wise. I went to college and graduated top in my major. I was able to move across the globe (literally, with a 12 hour time-zone difference), because I am doing my PhD […]
What a great site this is, it has given hope to me even though its been fleeting at times.
I think I’m finally at the end of the road, not by choice, yet I’m certain I have been backed into a corner for the last time.
I could packup and leave right know, yet where would I go ? I can only travel so far, to so many different places on the map, state to state far reachs of the US mainland, yet I have to use an ATM card to access my money every month which leaves a picture and a data trail as to […]