General

Not sure I want to hang myself.  I’m hoping i have to avoid that method as it is rather scary. I am barred from buying a gun. That seems like it would be easiest considering we can’t get barbiturates.  I have a ******** tank setup all ready to go but alarm, panic, and lots of air hunger came about.

So I just got back from scouting two areas that would support a 6 foot hang drop. I found a couple places in a heavily wooded recreational area 15 minutes from my house.  3 swing sets that have a horizontal pole about 11 feet across would be […]

During a drive I wasn’t going anywhere particular just driving and looking at  life pass me by through the windows.  Slowly over the years I find myself more unable to connect with the outside world I slowly become more paranoid and less trustful of the strangers I see.  I even find it hard to leave the house to go to a shop, I was going to get a book I was interested in that’s why I was originally in my car until I turned around and just drove around aimlessly, not the first time that’s happened.  I used to pass the time playing the xbox, […]

On Thursday 4th October, I had a mental health assessment. During which concerns for my well being arisen. I told her about my rope and the plans.. And she admitted me to Hospital. In which I stayed until Monday 8th October.

For the first night, I believed i might have a chance of going home the next day. So I felt okay being there. On the Friday I had a meeting with two Intensive care workers, Who wanted to keep me in until Monday where i would have another assessment. I also had to have a 1to1 nurse at all times. Even when i was sleeping, they had […]

Mood’s crashed. I knew it wasn’t going to last long. I had a pretty good week, things were going alright i even made a new friend 🙂 but no, i’m not allowed to have that level of peace in my life.

Those same fears are creeping back in. One at a time, they’re sort of bypassing the firewall so to speak. I’m sick at the moment as well, so that’s not helping much. Haven’t cried but to be honest i think it’s just a matter of time. I’m trying to keep busy, like i said i made a new friend and he’s lovely, i’ve tried doing […]

Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe, like I’m slowly suffocating. Sometimes my heart clenches up and I just get lost in the pain. Sometimes I cry for no reason, and no one notices. Sometimes I tremble and shake and I lose control of myself. Sometimes I slip up and for a second I feel so vulnerable and exposed. Sometimes I wonder who would care if it ended for me and I stop living this lie. Sometimes I say things to try to reach out, but they don’t seem to be listening or just don’t care. Sometimes I disappear and no one looks for me. […]

Dear you,

I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I care. I want you to drop every thought of suicide for a moment and just breathe.I know what it feels like to be alone- to feel like no one’s there for you, like no one understands you. It might feel that way, but it’s not true so

STOP THINKING THAT WAY.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD UNDERSTANDS YOU

Don’t you ever ever ever lose hope and give up.

LIVE. LIVE UNTIL YOU’RE OLD AND WRINKLY.

Life is too short. Don’t make is shorter. I know it might sound impossible now, but things will get […]

We have an airfield nearby my working place and when a fighter passes low i always wave and shout “Drop it here! Right here!” People think im nuts… maybe i am:)

i hope we can  at least do something before it’s too late..

Amanda Todd..didnt deserve to die. Rest in peace Amanda, you’re in a better place now..where no one can do such an irresponsible things to you.

This is our world nowadays..people judging, bullying..like they are the perfect ones.

Btw, has anyone heard from Nobody915?

i’ve got off with 2 boys. i’m no slut. but for some fucking stupid fucking reason i wanted to be. i let the second boy i kissed finger me and i was told yesterday that it was filmed. and it was light. and people have it on their phones. people have talked about me and laughed about me and bitched about what a fat slag i am. i dont know what to do. every person i see i think they’re looking at me and i dont think i can take it. who has seen it? has everyone? my best friend was killed by a train […]

If you have the time watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej7afkypUsc

This is the facebook page

http://www.facebook.com/pages/RIP-Amanda-Todd/516779355000334

Everyday it’s hard to go on, but just keep swimming. [nemo reference]

She’s like a lot of us on this site. On the facebook page it says to wear pink on Monday for Amanda. I’m going to, and maybe by posting here a few more if you will join me. Just hoping.

Last night I did something I’d promise myself I’d never do again.
That if it ever came to that moment in my life I’d find another alternative.
But for some reason I just couldn’t resist.
I started cutting my arm again.
I was upset and in so much pain
I really couldn’t take it anymore
I wanted to feel better and relieved
And this was what I needed
This was what i missed
From the rush of the cold blood flowing down my arm
To the pain and sadness slowly disappearing
I know I broke a promise to myself and I know I’m going to regret this
But I needed comforting
And my sharp, cold, silver friend was […]

Hi there. For those who care, i’m a 30 yr old guy from eastern europe with a steady job and a cynistic world view.. and who thinks he’s got nothing to lose. I came here not because i’m depressed (that also happens time to time) but to find people who maybe share this feeling of emptyness.. i dont really care if i die tomorrow or a week from now or even in december, as long as i dont hurt anyone as i go out.  I just wanna live as long as i can do what i want. But not more than 50 or 60. People […]

I’m more than 100% certain that I want to die, but the only thing currently stopping me is how much things will change for everyone who knows me.

I don’t want to upset anyone.

How do I get over this?!

hey am 18 and i still cant have a fone nor can i go out with friends am so sufficated i just want to be able to make my own choices in life not have them made for me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByYRJG2zShY this song says it all