General

I’m tired of pretending.
I’m tired of it all.

My bi-polar probably has a lot to do with my depression. First, can I say, that if anyone  is need of someone to talk to, Im a pretty good listener even with all my issues. Today, I want to take up some talking space though , first post here. It’s hard to admit when you feel like a royally screwed up human being. Cliche or not, I don’t feel worthy of love and I know thats not right. I woud tell anyone else that they are worthy of love. Why can’t I convince myself the same. I’ve always had a temper. It’s almost as if […]

The only time I feel happy, enjoy life and don’t even think about suicide is when I’m Stonned as fuck…

UGH! why? life is actually getting better. but guess what? i wanna die right now!? wtf up w/ that? idk nights just seem to hate me. so uh god im pissed and happy and all over the place…mostly annoyed though..no wait idk at all. i dont understand me either..im such a fuck up..

My story begins about four years ago, that was the day I meet one of the closest friends I will have ever had. I was young and stupid, he was older and much more experienced in life, something he has never flaunted in my face. He was patient and fun, a very calming touch to my scatterbrained mind. He has always looked out for me, in a sort of protective sense that he tried to keep my innocence. Because of all of our time together I fell in love with him. How could I not? He cared for me, listened to me, helped me with my trivial […]

I’m a 31 year old childless atheist (all by choice and you won’t convert me). Life is pointless, we are here to occupy ourselves until we die, and when we do die, that’s it. No lasting legacy, no fond memories left in peoples minds. No messiah waiting to welcome me to my reward, it’s a load of shit, nobody gets the reward, we die and rot in the ground, and that’s it. Why on earth would I want to subject myself to 50 more years of living around people who don’t care about me and employers that want to abuse and exploit my body and […]

I’m tired of been told that everything is going to be better, that when you hit bottom the only thing you can do is go up. Over the years I realize those things are just crap, are worthless for me. Nothing is better and I keep on falling. Sometimes I wonder what is to be happy, to not pretend that you are a normal person with a normal life. Why can anyone live according to what they personally believe, think and act? Why they have to label us as if we were a different kind of humans, and many times not even that. I think that […]

The world is so against me.

I feel like I ruin every relationship I have because of my deppression.
How am I ever gonna be with someone I can’t relate to..
I hhave a great job.. I’m very handsome.. I have much to be happy about
But I’m not.. never have been.. I drag down everybody.. I’m negative about
Almost everything unless it involves food, sex, or drugs..
I think I’m ready to give up.. cleanout my bank account.
Have a great time. Live a few days like they will be my last cause they will..
Maybe I want to be around soemone who feels like I do.
To cuddle and […]

I am new here, ways trying to find ways to kill myself on the net and came across this site. Well yes life sucks big time and after going through this site guess I am not the only one trying to find answers and frustated because every door seems to closed down with no key in sight.

Well about me I am in my mid twenties, lost my mother when i was 7, then dad passed away from cancer two years ago. now stuck with a husband (had to marry because it was my dad’s last wish and i could not let him down, i love […]

I am 46. That’s pretty old compared to most of you. The first time I thought about suicide was in high school. I often regret not following through at that age because it would have been so much less complicated–so fewer people to hurt. I am now married with 3 kids. They keep me here because I don’t want to hurt them. But when I get really low, I can even put them aside and go through the motions of hurting myself (that’s what my therapist calls it). I think in reality I know that I just want to escape the mistakes I’ve made, the […]

My years at school were going great, amazing friends and amazing family. Everything was perfect. until, I messed up. I don’t like talking about what I did, bit I will tell you my whole story so here it goes:
my best friend was seeing this lad, but he was sending me pictures and videos, he asked for a picture of me with no clothes on. So I did. I told my best mate he sent pics of himself, which was a stupid thing to do because he then told her what I did. She was obviously mad at me and didn’t want me as a […]

Today was my 1st day at school. It was ok at 1st but turned to hell. I realized something today. School is what depresses me.  All these people but not even one person needs or cares about me. I feel like the only way to get peoples attention is with death. I always get memories of all the horrible things that have happened to me when I was with alot of people. No one has EVER had faith in me. No one cares. My death is the only thing people would care about. I win a trophy? Big deal. Someone can buy one online or […]

I have to take my life, i need advice, the best way to go, I do not, will not live like thid any more, im 26 and ive had a very very good life, now i have nothing to live for, so i just wanna end my life, it helps to know theres others who feel the same.

I just don’t want to be here anymore. Lately I really have just lost the will to care. I can’t really go to my family or friends with how I’ve been feeling. My family would probably put me someplace and I really don’t want my friends to see me in this light. I’ve been in therapy practically all my life and it hasn’t helped. I can’t even go through all the medication I’m on. My appetite has gone to complete hell, I just don’t want to eat anymore. According to my bmi, I’m extremely underweight but in a way it makes me happy because hopefully […]

Everytime I get into a car I hope it’ll crash so I don’t have to go on, everytime I go to sleep I hope I’ll never wake up, everytime I walk around late at night I want to just be murdered. I starve myself and take small overdoses in the hopes that my organs won’t be able to handle it and I’ll just drop dead.
I just want it to end. The fact that I can’t do it myself makes it even harder, it’s a vicious cycle filled with malicious irony.