General

I would just love to have some one hold my hand and come with me..

 Run for a Fall

When I was 13, me and my parents have moved from our native country to another. It’s been now 5 years and I hate it, day by day things get worse.

I should be happy, because life here is so much easier than it is in my native country. Here I can afford things, many people can only dream of at my age. I have all the gadgets I ever wanted, but still, I’m not happy. People who say money give happiness are stupid, money does make life easier, but doesn’t give happiness.

For the last five years all I did was playing games, and surfing web. […]

hey there,

this is just a little text I wrote, thoughts that were in my mind today,

In the last time I started to dislike other people, or at least my antipathy against humans got stronger. I am feeling like there is no one out there who is worthy to know. People around me are so unsteady, today one of my colleagues decided to study something else, because she didn’t passed the math exam. So another human being left my life although I barely had anything to do with her. I can’t see a reason to spend time with others. Of course there are a few guys […]

i can’t take it im slowly dying every day it’s too much how can i wake up in this nightmare everyday? my soul is screaming but my voice is quiet no one fucking cares anyway it’s not like the universe wants me here… it doesn’t matter i’ve lost what kept me going now idk how long i can go… i cried over my ex for the first time in satan knows how long i don’t know how i can still love her. i see no point to keep on going i’m just done i can’t find whatever it is i’m looking for. just want it […]

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the very last breath you take. I suppose after that your heart stops then a few seconds later your brain stops functioning. I dont know why I posted this thought but it keeps running over and over through my mind. I wonder if a lot of fear is associated with that last breath or if at the final split second before you slip into unconsciousness you feel a sense of release and peacefulness? I suppose it may have something to do with they way you go. If you jump off a building that last microsecond must be a […]

Just wondering where they have all got to

I want to disappear. To end it all.

Suicide is always somewhere in my mind. I thought of many ways: Hanging, Stabbing my self and Jumping. And 2 years ago I almost jumped off a bridge. But I couldn’t. I was afraid. Afraid of dying. Afraid of hurting the people that care about me.  But most of all afraid that noone would remember me.

Everything keeps getting worse, Rumours of things i’ve never done. People distancing themselves from me. People calling names, throwing stuff, bullying me. It gets worse everyday. And no one helps me or is it no one cares. My mind has been set now, […]

Well I think its time to tell people why I cut and why I think I’m depressed.
It starts off like all the rest, happy family, with money, love ect..
When I was about four years of age I was working in the farm with my daddy and my sixteen year old cousin, my dad left to get some food for the cattle, I was sitting on a lump of hay. My cousin comes up to me and starts fingering me. It was not a good experience for me and I couldn’t get him to stop. I think he would have gone a lot further […]