For general topics related to the site.
I’m high and I cut myself very deep. I don’t know what to do!
For general topics related to the site.
I’m high and I cut myself very deep. I don’t know what to do!
I’m not telling anyone anything, so it’s ok…
But basically i had never really thought of it before, I see things and hear voices. It’sdeveloped more recently, I see myself. Something has happened to me and i see how people try to help me… And i hear voices. They tell me things. They make scary predicitions.
It usually only happens when i’m alone, rarely when I’m with someone…
What’s wrong with me?
I used to be an alcoholic. but I cleaned up my act and I quit 7 years ago. but just a month back I started drinking again. One thing lead to another and I find that I’m drinking everyday. And the old voices come back. They tell me to end it all. That this life is not worth anything. I cant take it anymore. The only reason I’m still alive is because of my mother. She’s very ill and she needs me still. But I dont know how long i can go on.
Test injected with my thio…. this is so going to work when the time is right.
one guy, me, and love. the battle in life, love controls us. i never wanted to disaprear so badly until he came along… i love him. i want him but i cant have him, maybe thats why its all gone down hill.. i slit.. i cry.. everynight.. i never thought that growing up and falling inlove was so hard.. i was inlove before and told myself not to fall ever again… but then it happend, he made me feel like i could, like he would catch me.. we broke up because i was upset.. i got kicked out of my moms and house and […]
few days back i wanted to quit it with car exhaust- carbon monoxide.
but now, i want to do it the hibachi style..
i even  ordered from ebay one old japanese hibachi, just for this. i like japan, so yea.
and imagining  the whole process, i really adore it. i dont know yet where im gonna do it, but i have few nice choices to pick from.
i dont know when, i’ll see when the hibachi arives.
sorry for my bad english. peace.
I wrote my bucket list today. Can’t wait to put it to action! My favourite ones on there?
‘Flip someone off’
‘Tell a girl who is wearing extra-mini shorts that she forgot her pants’
‘Dance in public’
‘Lip-sync a song with vigour, while in public’
Quite excited. Making a fool of ones self is actually very fun when you have the energy.
I looked outside of my window this afternoon and noticed, as if for the first time, the wooden pillars that hold up a sheet over our patio. My thoughts instantly went to ‘I can buy some rope and hang myself there.’ and I smiled. It’s kind of pretty, it’s right next to a large bush of flowers that grows above our shed.
I think it might be too short for a proper hanging though, so I’ll have to somehow fix it.
It feels nice to have a decision.
It’s not at all that I may be having second thoughts, contemplating whether I have made the right choice or not. It’s just although I don’t want to be here now, I feel sad that the old me can not continue living. I guess I just wish that the events leading up to my decision had not have happened. I could continue to live my innocent and naive life, unaware of its dangers and pain. Should I do it tomorrow, why not in a few days? I don’t want to be here anymore, and I am 100% sure of that.
That’s it, unless something sudden and dramatic happens that changes the way I feel (like my mum and brother die in a car crash – I cam dream) I am going to do it. I can’t actually get myself to say what I am doing because I see it as falling asleep, only you never wake up. It’s peaceful and calming, its freedom and happiness all in one. The ‘S’ word used to describe it sounds malicious and destructive, so I’m going to fall asleep, pass away peacefully. Thank you for all your support and I hope that someone out their can help you.
everyone assumes you are forcing your feelings onto others but its not like that….its not~
why does no one understand the way i am feeling~
or is it that they dont want to try and understand…?
I am trying to hold on, but I have been steadily tidying up my life these last weeks and I am throwing away my career and my life very quickly. I am steadily working towards the end and although I feel really bad right now, I know I will hold on another day or two. I keep trying to find excuses to carry on just one more day (new tattoos, new clothes/shoes to be bought tomorrow), anything at all. But it is all crap and means nothing. It is just a distraction from where I know I am heading. I hate to set deadlines, none […]
Everything seems to be slipping out of my hands right now. My relationship with my boyfriend, who was also my best friend. My relationship with my parents. My mom has just left the house. I am here trying to drown my grief somehow. I dont know what to do. I have younger siblings I should take care of right? But I need to be taken care of. My boyfriend is not understanding. he doesn’t even know what else I am going through. Im so lost and confused.
that when I finally get to meet the other person who helped my mother sire me, it would be the last meeting we would ever have.
It would either be because I killed myself afterwards, or I get into an accident that killed me afterwards.
Is this all I’m waiting for? To go “Hello Dad, it’s nice to meet you again. Goodbye.” And that will be that. It’s funny but every year for the past decade or so, I’ve been making lists of things to do before my birthday because I resolved to kill myself after that. But every year, I kept backing out because I was […]
I’m sat in bed, crying. I feel pathetic even writing this but I have nowhere else to go. My mum just took me out to go to B&Q with her. On the way I said ‘I would like to go home.’ She pulled up and asked me why. I said ‘I don’t know what I want to do because I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to be here.’
She took me home. On the way I asked her if she was currently suicidal, she said no but she had been not too long ago. I said, ‘Next time you feel that way maybe […]
I dont know what to do anymore. I just want it to stop even just for a litte while
What have I done wrong to be like this?
The financial struggle just to exist is exhausting. My wife died over 8 years ago and I raied our two children who are in college. The politics around my job are horrible and getting worse thanks to some very misguided individuals at the state level. I have tried to find another job but the competitition is stiff and most employers want a younger person.
Thanks to the greed on wall street, corporations outsourcing Asmerican jobs, the governments huge deficiets and low interest rates our IRAS and 401K’s have tanked several times over the past 15 years leaving it with being no where close […]
Yesterday was a bad day. I woke up feeling okay, but then suddenly the sadness hit and I descended into the darkness again, thinking dangerous thoughts yet feeling dangerously numb and empty. I ended up lying in my bed for hours, too exhausted to move and too empty to cry, but too sad to sleep. Eventually, I got myself out of bed and tried to shake the sadness. I ended up in my kitchen, heating up a pizza. I couldn’t eat more than a few bites- it wasn’t exactly that I wasn’t hungry and I’m not dieting, it was just that I found the act […]
I guess what I’m trying to say is although I’m miserable, depressed, suicidal, I don’t want to feel different. I’ve felt like this for so long that I can’t see a way out, and if it did miraculously appear I doubt I would take it anyway. I feel safe, just me, alone no one can cause me pain I have been through. Only I can upset myself or make myself feel better. I am all I need, and so why not die? Is it selfish of me even if I did want to stay, to be a burden to my friends and family?
The reason making […]
MY EMAL IS call9176023914@gmail.com.Michael
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