General

              i found this site out of curiosity and to be honest… i think its really pathetic that everyone has to post  ” their thoughts on suicide” on the web. if you were anything of a civilized human being. ( wich most of you script to be well educated) you would not have found sanction in  an internet site. you seem to forget in the nesxt 30, 40 maybe 50+ years most of us will seize  to exist.WE ARE  NOT MAKING IT OFF THIS PLANET ALIVE. you are so egotistical to beleive that taking your life will gain some form of release that will solve your […]

going out more, usually it’d either be ‘No Ema!’ or ‘Nah, wanna catch up on sleep, see ya’ guys’. But I’ve been mentally pushing myself out that door. (:

It works…while I’m out, I feel great, happy, I have fun. No suicidal thoughts, no cutting, no crying, no lyeing on the floor wishing I was dead. But when I come back in? when I walk back through that door, it, just, hits. like a fucking train. urgh

Well, I got hit by a car for second time in 3 years, why the fuck I just don’t die? Just can’t take it anymore, and the guy who hit me thinks it’s his fault, I don’t want anyone to kno it was on purpose but how stupid are you, when someone just steps out in front of your car out of no where and you blame yourself? I fail at life, and I fail at dying, I only want one thing and I can’t have it, it’s not fair, someone who wants to live but is not able to shoul be able to have […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhD0CQRbliI&feature=fvst

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that’s real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar’s chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right […]

She tells me that this is all for my future, not hers. but what’s the point in doing this when i know that i don’t HAVE a future? Why should i waste my time doing stuff i don’t like, being around people i don’t like, being in a place that i don’t like, for my “future”?

She thinks that I have a future, but in reality my time is almost up.

if i were to die would anyone miss me.

parents are gone grandmother and i keep fighting

and my sisters don’t see that i am hurting.

i know that no one here knows me so you dont have to say i will

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMx2SKIRkw4

i think i like to get my own way but if i dont get my own way

i go crazy

is that okay?

First off, I feel bad. Why? Because I read these stories on here, and I feel selfish and unknowing of how good I have it where I am. But for some reason, it isn’t what I want and isn’t what is making me happy. That’s not necessarily my fault, right?

I’m 17, a month from 18. My main problem is with my parents right now. I disobeyed them and dated someone they did not approve of. So, naturally, they warn me not to again. I say okay, and say I’m going to other people’s place and when I’m not. I get away with that for about […]

The secret to life is
that there really is no secret
the purpose of living
to see how long you can trick your brain
into thinking that there is some purpose
but really none of it matters
even everything that matters
so much right now
in a couple weeks
I’ll finally be gone
in a few years the people
who thought I mattered
will soon forget I ever was
and someday they’ll all be gone too
everyone who ever witnessed my existence
then eventually this world I called home
will cave into itself and be no more
and the sun, barely a twinkle in the […]

I have yet to post something on here and I thought I ‘d give it a shot even though I can’t see half of this screen on this crappy computer.

Well, I just want to say that if anyone wants to talk to someone, you can talk to me…if interested just send me your email and I’ll email you. I am not going to try to give you convert you to a religion, judge you for being depressed or say you don’t have a right to feel the way you feel. I just want to be there to understand you if you really wnt to be […]

Well everyone thinks I’m getting an eating disorder because I don’t eat like I used too.
So what if I am? It’s no one business.  I’m just sick of people acting like they know whats best for me. I mean it’s my life I should know how to live it.
I ate to much today 🙁 I’m probably going to go purge and work out.
So I guess I do have an eating disorder…. it’s not like it’s going to get fatal. I don’t care. maybe I’ll die from starvation. I hope so.

THE PATHWAY

My world roils with emptiness
Great black boiling clouds of nothing
I am a brass shell of emptiness
Legs and arms attached
Without feeling or weight.

I look outside for substance
Something to fill the blackness inside
Nothing looks solid enough to bouy me
It will do no more than briefly fill the void
Before swirling down a black whirlpool.

The reality of food is nothing.
A short cessation of empty feeling,
It withers in the grey mists that mass
Grimly triumphant in their lack of being.
They have no body to defeat.

Swelling with nothing;
My body grows fat from stuffing.
Inside me the emptiness grows.

When I am made World Dictator
Euthanasia will become official.
Register now, die tomorrow
Will be the slogan.

Your signature here, and there too.
Thank you dear Sir or Madam
No need to wait at home,
Disrupt your tedious life.

Tomorrow at some time of day,
Maybe picking up drycleaning,
Or in line to buy a Burger
Or or about to fuck.

A State Assassin will step up
And discretely shoot you
In the back of your head;
Then cart your corpse away.

The charge will be made
To your deceased estate
Or maybe National Insurance.
That’s not decided yet.

There will be a special service too,
For those who […]

Has anyone heard from them, anyone know if they are ok?

How long can I just stand in the shower
before the water finally washes me away
How long until I waste away into nothing
and become as hollow as I truly feel
How long do I wait in the howling wind
until it blows me away
leaving nothing but an eyelash
a spec of dust to prove I once was here

Is anyone there?
Hollow words sent out into
A black void, it’s ok
Since I’m probably a hack, anyway.
Or nothing, those words
Carry the same meaning for me.
I was thinking, and I realized
That I can’t be lost in translation
Since I’ve never had a translator,
So where am I lost at then?
It could be my own mind,
This shadow filled place where I hide.
Or quite possibly, my heart
Where most feelings swirl around
With the insanity and destructive determination
Of a fire based hurricane,
While at the same time
Clawing out my very own inner-grave.
As logical as those answers […]

I’m always alone. Nobody cares. Life is all messed up. We live in this world, why? In the end we all just die. To leave a legacy? For who? In the end they’ll all die too. We go through life, we struggle, we fight, we stress, and we suffer. In the end we are all alone, just the way we were born, we leave the earth. ALONE!