General

What exactly is wrong with suicide anyway? Back in the olden days, suicide was celebrated and expected. Not saying that’s the way to go either- both sides are too extreme- either NO one is allowed to suicide or ppl are EXPECTED to suicide (see history about civilizations sending their sick and old away into tents on the outskirts of the city- MANY/MOST civilizations did this).

If ppl want to suicide, why is there a need to stop them? Why keep ppl in misery bc YOU think they shouldn’t die? Or bc YOUR god “forbids” suicide?

I think that’s all fucking bullshit.

Isn’t it funny […]

Interviews went okish. Kinda screwed up the first one cause I was nervous and I actually kinda wanted this job. Second one went better but not by much. I immediately got a follow up for the second one though so that’s something. Sucks that it’s a defense company. I am in no position to be on my high horse and say that I’m too good to be working for those companies, but it’d be nice if the stuff I made didn’t end up getting people killed. It’s a technical interview with multiple parts so I’ll probably screw it up […]

I feel far too jaded and hopeless about this stupid world to think I’ll ever be happy.
The avg person has also gotten crappier of the past several decades. Studies show this, not just me surmising.

Also, it takes a good amount of money to NOT be poor/in a crap life.

The rich do not play by the rules- they are the ones who MAKE UP the rules for everyone ELSE to follow.

Something lighter, something fun.

I finally actually watched an episode of the show and I was pretty much right about what it is; kind of a variation on the theme of Scooby Doo. A group of teens with a strange pet that get into strange situations. That’s also kind of the situation with Speed Buggy I think, I’m going to watch that next. Jabberjaw also has some feelings of Sealab 2020(and Sealab 2021) and Johnny Quest. All of these are Hanna Barbara shows with the exception of Sealab 2021 which was produced after the classic era.

I’m getting a serious craving for some Yogi Bear too. I […]

This post is more about people’s responses than about Erika Kirk herself.

1- Erika Kirk is such a fake and a phony- all those fake faces she makes and patting of the tissue near her DRY and perfectly make-up’ed UN-PUFFY eyes

2- I don’t get how ppl believe her act? It’s so beyond obvious how fake she is. You can clearly see how super happy he’s dead bc now she gets $50M donation from rich benefactors, on TOP of getting over $10M+ in GoFundMe from avg ppl. And on TOP of TPUSA getting $150M from pro Israel groups which Charlie Kirk refused 48hrs before he […]

It’s “funny” how in America, we are 100% judged and defined by our job (or lack thereof).
When I quit working, I ceased being seen as a “human being” to all of my former friends and ppl I knew.
Needless to say, I don’t talk to any of them anymore.

Jobless – No One Likes a Jobless One || by Relatone (Official Lyrics Video)

Someone needs to tell BOOMERS that the job market now is NOT what it was like for THEM. THEY had the benefit of a SINGLE job that paid WELL, even with NO college degree. A sole income back in the day, even as an unskilled factory job assembly line worker, made enough to afford a house, a car, and a wife and 2 kids. And college was like $500. Back in their day, back before they made the economy and life shit for us- if you had a degree, you practically could get a job anywhere. And if you only […]

What Things Piss You Off? Could be anything and everything. I get pissed off at everything in this stupid shitty world. I want to know what pisses other ppl off.

Got a couple more interviews this week and next. I feel like nothing comes from them though. I bumble my way through questions I don’t understand, they say I did good and end the meeting, then they either ghost me or tell me no (which ghosting does too, but less direct.). I needed to email a follow up to two interviews from two weeks ago. One just finished doing all their interviews and needs to make a decision and the other said they weren’t interested. Would they have told me if I didn’t follow up with them? Probably not. […]

It’s so ridiculous. I can be honest here because it doesn’t matter. I don’t even masturbate to porn I just look at it and then I cum without touching myself. It’s embarrassing.

When people reject me and judge me and hate me it makes me sexually aroused. When I’m humiliated… when I’m looked down upon. I don’t understand why it happens, but I know that it does.

So that’s that. Now that’s off of my chest. I didn’t even watch porn this time. I just read a text. And that was enough. Silly me. It would have been easy for me not to engage and just go […]

I can sometimes peer into my own head, and see myself laughing like an idiot, like insane Joker laughing.

The other version of myself is holding him back, keeping it together.

If I’m doing something different, it becomes background noise in my own head, but right now? Not so much. 

Am I insane?

The last thing I want to do is act like the stuff I’ve been dealing with is abnormal. It’s not. Part of life is juggling a lot of these things.

I feel like I’m no good, that maybe I’m just not a good person.

I can’t live with anyone, I […]

So I was right all along.
According to research and studies, YES people have.

Over the past 30 years, I’ve noticed that people have become shittier, and harder to make real close friends or relationships with anyone.

This study was done at USC and first published in the Financial Times.

Inside the changing personalities of young adults thanks to smartphones:
(6min)

Looking in my window. I know you’ll never see this, and I don’t care.

How are you going to do it not once, but multiple times, and still come down here and tell me you’re not going to do it again? Tell me you have to fight the temptation to do it, tell me you’re restraining yourself by not doing anything else, and expect me to feel even remotely alright being around you? You can promise all you want but I don’t believe you. At least you finally admitted you were just looking to look instead of making up some bullshit excuse about being traumatized when […]

Trying to get healthy on the side here, and I ended up falling down a rabbit hole learning about this plant Mullein and the health benefits. The guy hocking it wanted to sell his product which was $60, actually he wanted to sell large amounts of it like $270 of it at a shot. I can’t slight the hustle but I don’t have that kind of scratch for health remedies. I went over to Amazon and grabbed a few ounces of the herb for $10.

He’s recommending it as a tea or droplet, which I might go that way. I’m more likely to smoke or vape […]

Poetry/prose

I look around and realize that we’re all lions in our enclosures. Some of us have wolf companions. We have our trophies and our prizes we’ve won from our hunts, but we’re all old lions, our best hunting days are behind us. We’ve retreated to our well appointed dens.

I’m imagining in this scenario lions have evolved into humaniod creatures, but still with lion like traits. I realize now that men have such a need to tinker and to overtake their environment in some way, be it by owning higher quality materials like leather or engineering them with sythetic alternatives. It’s not any different, the desire […]

Still living with my parents. Still don’t have a job yet. Had 5 interviews in the past two weeks. I already told the technician job no. Just got a bad vibe from it. Seemed like a dead end job I’d be stuck at for years. Didn’t go to my interview for McDonald’s. Parents told me not too. Apparently I’m too good for McDonald’s? But not for Costco. I have no idea what they want and honestly I don’t care. I just really didn’t want to be a cashier again. Right now best […]

Don’t worry, I won’t teach any of you this dangerous thing, I just thought it was worth sharing since we’ve been discussing the dangers of AI on here lately. The thing had to do with drug consumption. It taught me a couple new ways to OD and thankfully I’m not in a self harm place right now. I might use one of the non fatal OD methods to get really high later, but that’s not really here or there.

I’ve been playing with AI more just because I have to you can’t avoid it and use Google anymore. That’s the only one I have to talk […]

I have to say September and October are probably the best I do most of the year and it probably is because fall is the season of death. Think about it; Spring is the season of birth and fertility, great for young people, couples and planting things. Summer is the season of life, great for children and families. However come around to fall we have the only death themed holiday the whole year has to offer, days get shorter, and horror movies go on sale and everyone wants to watch more of them. Of course winter could come close, but it needs a death holiday […]

Tired of Myself – Losing Light, Finding Hope || by Relatone

Tired of Myself – Crying Where No One Can See | MiyaViAmore | Original Lyric Song