General

For general topics related to the site.

7

Facades

October 11th, 2017by Mordred

  1. Smiling
  2. Nodding
  3. Agreeing with others politely
  4. Disagreeing with others politely
  5. Eating
  6. Talking
  7. Apologizing
  8. Being “positive”
  9. A bunch of other things.

I wonder why I’m still around? I don’t need to be in this kind of environment, I really don’t. I have skills, I have a resume, I can leave.

Yet I’m around. Tied down to all the things I don’t care about, just to be around one thing I care about. Or one person. And one animal I guess.

My manager told me I need to “tone down the snark” today. What kind of responses do these people expect from me? If I don’t agree with something, …

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3

Prisoner

October 11th, 2017by judge_me_i_do

I am in the social services world. I help people find hope, feel good about themselves, provide uncanny empathy, and secretly want to die, every day. It’s so conflicting. I feel like a phony on so many levels.

What really sucks for me is that I’m done, really done, but I have people that I know will be affected forever if I do anything about it. I have 5 kids, 30, 27, 25, 23, and 17.

After years of struggle and sacrifice to get their dad through school (12 out of our 13-year marriage) so he could  and get his dream job, he left for a woman who …

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4

I need to talk to someone, please.

October 11th, 2017by LonelyBird

This is my new account… I haven’t been on here in a couple years.

I’m 18 now and in my first semester of school, studying math and stats. Let me say, I feel like a fucking idiot. My boyfriend is succeeding and I am soooooo proud of him and his accomplishments, but, it makes me feel like a complete dumb ass. I’m wondering how I even got into this program.

I know first year grades are your worse, but I truly thought I could do better.

I recently relapsed with my anorexia and with the add on stress of school and my family falling apart, I really want …

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4

Me

October 11th, 2017by AnonRaigonis

So, this is my first time. Reaching out. To strangers.

I will be honest, I tried talking over this with my teacher. But, it didn’t really came across. And I don’t want to burden her anymore than I already did. So now I turn to strangers, from perhaps the other side of the world.
I find this to be amazing. As if no one care. They can scroll on.

But at the same time, the people who took their time to see me here. I would feel bad for hurting them. Hurting you.

Then again, are you hurt? Or like many, you are hollow right now. Yearning for senses, …

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1

I feel it coming

October 11th, 2017by Baked13

My mind is killing me faster than I can even think of saving myself.

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0

I’m Losing…

October 11th, 2017by Baked13

Feeling like I’ve lost my place in this world, community, institution and family.

I have nothing to live for.

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4

Internet Addict

October 11th, 2017by eternaldarkness

I wonder what percentage of SPers are on the internet all the time? 99%? I for sure am.

Hm, I wonder if there are IA meetings and if not, there ought to be one lol

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3

Time Slows When Dropping

October 11th, 2017by Randall

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14

Kevin Hines: Golden Gate jump survivor, motivational speaker and fraud

October 11th, 2017by OneShot

Kevin Hines is making rounds talking about his jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and promoting his new documentary about it. If you’ve seen the interviews, he seems like a genuine guy promoting optimism, recovery and a strong anti-suicide message. One of the things he says is that “nineteen Golden Gate Bridge jump survivors have also said … the millisecond my hands left the rail, it was instant regret.”

This struck me as unbelievable, so I looked it up. The only credible study of Golden Gate jump survivors I could find was an article by DH Rosen called “Suicide survivors. A follow-up study of persons who …

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7

Bad Habits / Bad Coping Mechanisms

October 11th, 2017by eternaldarkness

These are my bad habits

-Eating (ofc it’s usually junky food)
-Always on the Computer (bad for eyes)
-Playing games on my tablet (bad for eyes)
-Doing Nothing- not getting things done, lethargy, lack of motivation
-Staying in and avoiding humans

I want to be different, but it’s just more comfortable being alone than being around bad people.
I want to be more active, but most of everything is bullshit, so I see no point of doing them.

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1

I

October 11th, 2017by TheMadHatter

I feel ready, but yet unprepared

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18

Nutmeg

October 11th, 2017by lostallhope001

is there anybody who knows someone who killed him/herself with nutmeg? It is said that 1 spoon and a half is enough to die

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18

My Venus flytraps, King Henry and Dracula

October 11th, 2017by brokenandbent30

Besides my boyfriend, my gorgeous carnivore pets keep me alive! They’re a lot of fun and eat lots of flies! The one with the reddish color in the center of the trap is Dracula. Got Dracula as a baby so it’s not as big as King Henry. I bought King Henry as a pre-adult. The first shot is a dumb fly that landed on top of King Henry. I get sick pleasure out of watching them get eaten. In the last pic, you can see a couple of flies in the traps.

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3

Tease

October 11th, 2017by Katki

Sometimes it feels like there’s this cosmic joke and the punchline is my life.
Its like there’s someone handing out weed brownies and every time its my turn to get one, they run out. EVERY DAMN TIME…

 

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10

Dead By Morning

October 10th, 2017by RoughEdges

I am going to kill myself within the next few hours. So this is the last goodbye.

 

 

Goodbye.

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5

What happened? (Rant)

October 10th, 2017by CARLOSPEJUAN

It’s so hard to exist. But I’m working on it. It just sucks that I wanted to die next year and out of nowhere now I don’t. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? So now I’m set back 3 years because of that, I’ve carelessly ruined my reputation and I have serious Brain, intestinal and overall physiological damage because of this. This is kind of inconvenient only because it’s (wanting to live) something that should have ALWAYS been there. FUCK MY LIFE RN. For real. WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!? UUUUGGGHHH.
I’m gonna start from scratch, rebuild myself and I just hope I can make it …

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3

What I managed to do

October 10th, 2017by eternaldarkness

Yesterday:
-spent 2 hours cleaning the bathroom (sink, toilet, tub) and kitchen floor
-spent 3 hours organizing files, mostly pics from my phone, consolidating files as my laptop crashed a few months ago

Today:
-spent 30 min throwing out paperwork
-spent 1 hr getting rid of stuff in fridge + getting rid of items to donate
-spent 1 hr consolidating files
-spent 4 hours doing Laundry (only 3 loads, and yes, it takes me that long) 🙁
-Vacuumed

Drank 1/2 bottle of veg juice
Ate 1/2 of a cucumber
And oddly don’t feel hungry

Bear in mind I am semi-disabled so doing anything is strenuous and hard for me.
I know you youngin’s are like, …

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3

pushing me…

October 10th, 2017by Foundhappiness

As if I didn’t have enough reason.. after today. I am seriously thinking not even waiting any much longer.

Found out today I will lose my car and boat if I don’t get a loan to protect them.,,,two things that keep me going and functioning.

Likely I can’t, but Ill try.

If I lose them, its going to push me over even sooner. Guaranteed.

Pray for me.

Please.

 

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6

Dont want to be remembered

October 10th, 2017by TheMadHatter

I don’t want to be remembered when I die. I want everyone to forget about me, like I never existed

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8

Envy

October 10th, 2017by Emptysince

I hate that i envy someone who had enough balls to take their own life. But every time it happens…its my first thought. What a brave person. I wish i could just have the balls. I know a situation will eventually give me all the balls i need. But its just crazy and pathetic to feel envy and jealous over ones success at suicide.

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