General

For general topics related to the site.

1

The sharp knife of perfection

February 17th, 2018by xoxosiamese-catxoxo

Machines judge. They don’t love. They are a computer coded with millions of perfection standars that a human heart couldn’t meet. So machines live by constant dysphoria , cynicism, misogyny and the perfect dream. Of the perfect creation that will redeem them . A fiery model that exhilarates them – most of all because they’re plastic mannequin looking. She would be so sure of herself because her lips are worth the kiss prince gave to Snow White , her hair is chinese silk, her posture is graceful and her caracter resembles a french femme fatale. Does love exist? Or people have just turned their hearts …

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1

It’s been a while

February 17th, 2018by ughlife

So I haven’t posted in a while. My life started getting a little better, but now it’s just going down hill again and it really sucks. I am proud of myself, I don’t think about killing myself or hurting myself much anymore.

Ugh and I need to learn that I don’t need a boy to make me happy. But when a boy does come into my life he is usually what gets me out of my “suicide” phase I guess.

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2

Innocent until death seams good

February 16th, 2018by Ghost111111

Most people who are not depressed or suffering a mental illness simply feel like commiting suicide because of incidents or because life is miserable for a while. Or because life hurt them and they can’t or don’t want to move on in other words.

My story isn’t like that. All that is just icing on the cake for me. that kind of thing has happened to me but it was the last straw that made me stop trying not the overall cause. I’m sitting here on the roof of a four story building thinking of jumping for the record. To begin with I stayed …

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3

So just curious what ideas people might have about my situation

February 16th, 2018by Ghost111111

I started out in life with an addiction to electronics. From well before I New better. And therefore didn’t get a lot of social interaction. I also didn’t interact with family much. So long story short I wound up with a lack of experience couple with people reacting negatively to me. For far too long I stayed innocent clinging to it in the end feeling like letting go of it would be unbearable. Clung to silk imagination fantasy and refusal to accept and deal with reality. I was separated from all I knew due to acting out in frustration by prison. I wasn’t a murderer …

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2

Difficult Process

February 16th, 2018by Jean-bean102

Whew… I made some difficult process recently..

Sigh.. I hate to admit this but I have been sort of stalking my ex-best friend for awhile. I am not proud of it. I recently completely stops. I don’t check on her for about a week now. It is nice…it feel less weight on me. I used to check on her social media few time everyday while I am process to heal myself at same time. Stupid idea. It slow me down. I told myself that I am just worry about her well being. But it is not really 100% true. I was hoping I would see any …

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17

Anyone else relate?

February 16th, 2018by Vertrag

I read a article online about constant suicidal ideation, and had the urge to write about my own struggles. Can anyone relate, or want to share their experience?

Here’s my take on it:

    Tomorrow. It’s something most people don’t really think much about. They just assume it will come. For me, it is something that often feels uncertain. I don’t know if I will have a tomorrow. I don’t know if there is a next day for me. It’s terrifying because I never know which day is the last. Which day my suicidal thoughts will overcome me and I will lose my battle.

Living

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2

Lost

February 16th, 2018by shelby

 this is my first time posting on here, or rather anywhere about my messed up self. I just realized today that I’m a compulsive liar. And I’m like a kleptomaniac or something.

i go to a boarding school, so tons of girls all living together. It’s fun, I have plenty of friends. But, since I’m as messed up as I am, I steal from them. And being the idiot I am, when they ask me, I say ‘what the hell thats messed up we definitely have a thief in the dorm’ because obviously, I have a problem.

Right there is one example of both of my problems.

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4

Other People Are Hell

February 16th, 2018by basefree

Other people and their expectations ruin my day. I want to be surrounded by those with zero expectations of me. I am a flight not fight person. In any conflict or confrontation I immediately want to get away from the individual who is the source of the conflict. Getting away and being alone immediately makes me feel better. I think I am meant to be a loner.

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9

Difference

February 16th, 2018by unknownsoldier

I feel like the line between what’s right and what is wrong has become blurred to me. I don’t know if that’s good or not. It has been bothering me that I don’t really feel anything anymore and now this.

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2

An update

February 16th, 2018by Elysianvinyl

Hello! If you remember any of my last posts (I don’t blame you if you dont), I’m currently in a mental rehabilitation center as necessary due to my recent suicide attempt. They allowed me technology today.

They’ve been shoving psyciatric pills down my throat and it’s so annoying, but I guess whatever helps. I hope to be out by the end of March.

See you the next time Im allowed my phone. Stay strong.

~Alex.

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1

It’s a long and lonely road when you walk alone

February 16th, 2018by falling_soup

PS: IF THIS IS GROSS, TRIGGERING OR UPSETTING I AM SORRY (READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

I read the comments to the last post I wrote. Leaving him would be nice, I get all wrapped up in my head and then I somehow eventually tell myself this is good for me. I am seeing a trauma therapist, working through my sexual assault and such. She noticed that I have put my work on that aside because all I do is talk about the toxic relationship I currently am in, she gave me some ideas on how to separate my self  from him and to make things …

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5

Hi

February 16th, 2018by ninjarhino21

Would anyone like to talk?

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2

strange

February 16th, 2018by negar

I don’t know if it has ever happened for you that you feel bad ,really bad and full of emotions and things to tell about them  to others but you can’t , I mean you know lots of things but you can’t teach them , you feel lots of things but it seems there is […]

1

what to do?

February 16th, 2018by amesstoconfess

lately i’ve had trouble handling my emotions. i don’t know why.
my moods have been changing as fast as the snap of fingers, one minute i’m glad to be alive the next i want to end it all. my dad was the same way when we used to live with him. weeks of productive positive energy and then a month of not even getting out of bed. he has bipolar and my sister does too, so i’m suspecting i have it as well.

i was self harming daily for about three months until i became too lazy to even get out something sharp, and at least four …

2

My Suiside Story

February 16th, 2018by dramaqueen90

I over dosed on pills. I was in my early 20s. My guy best friend had stopped talking to me. We had been friends since we were 12. And I had never told anyone not even him. That by being my friend in the first place he had saved my life. At 12 years old I was planning to slit my wrists. To understand you would have to be in my shoes. When I was 9 a boy younger than me had touched me physically. This was not child play. I wanted to scream but nothing came out no one was around. When I tried …

0

A glass of broken dreams

February 15th, 2018by Taf Taf

 

Sometimes I think there’s never been

A highway so wide and mean

Leading to a room so cold and bare

Faded pictures on the wall

Stories of a past untold

Sunny beaches turn to ruthless tide

There’s a new motel in town

It’s called the end of broken dreams

There’s a new place in town

It’s called the end of broken dreams

Out of the blue my name is fear

And I’ll haunt you if I care

Out of this world my game is clear

And I’ll catch you if I dare

But there is no time for me to stay

Maybe it’s time to ride the ray

Maybe tomorrow never comes

Crawling lizards in the sun

Do we part like fallen leaves

Like …

1

Today’s word: aimless

February 15th, 2018by mindlessgamer619

I gave up on sleep. Woke up at 12:50 am, haven’t gotten back to sleep since.

These last two days I’ve been feeling aimless. Like just unable to really plot out where I’m gonna go and how I’ll get things done. There are people I want to visit, places I want to go, but nowhere near enough money to do those things…

I’m quite annoyed tbh.

0

I’m Dying

February 15th, 2018by liz_zie_gla

“What are you doing?” they ask. I’m dying. Why is that so hard to understand?

I don’t want to be dying. It’s not like this is fun. Feeling like dying isn’t normal. It’s not enjoyable. It’s not something I want to do. It just feels like I’m out of options.

In some ways, I’m actually very happy the people around me don’t understand my feelings. I mean, maybe they would if I told them how I felt, but I don’t really want to find out.

The beauty of anonymity, in terms of depression, is that you don’t know who it is that feels this way. You know how …

0

WHY?

February 15th, 2018by nobodycares

why should i explain myself to them if they dont believe me at the end? why should i follow what they want? what about my wants and needs? why should i sacrifice my happiness for them? im not happy anymore… why i cant quit my job? why i cant go anywhere without them? why???

2

I finally quit

February 15th, 2018by ratlovinggirl

So I posted about dance being stressful and today I finally did something about it. I dropped my solo! I feel super relieved about it.

 

seperate from that I think I need to take my rabbit somewhere for cull… anyone here that might be a small animal breeder knows what that means. Apparently his aggression is a sign he just isn’t happy and thats the best idea, he’s caused me to break down sobbing because he hates me so much and I just want to love him…. so that sucks…