I did this, you can too.
Ughh. Well Where To Begin.. Like My Title Says Im Back TO Square One. The constant crying, being sad. Are things ever gunna get back to normal ? Because it really doesnt feel like it… I need help. But, not from a stupid therapist or conselour.. I just dont know.. HELP! Im sick of stupid cutting and emotions or even stupid hospitals ! ugh. Stupid sucide.
It kind of irks me to know that despite trying so hard im still alive i had written my suicide note posted a goodbye online and tried to kill myself softly….which obviously didnt happen n im alive….typing another post….but feeling the same crap….i wish id be here for no longer
I feel so lonely….i have no one to talk to……suicide helplines doesnt work for me….God what should i do….what should i do?
A large majority of my life I’ve thought about dying. Specifically, my intense, hungry desire to take my own life. I’ve been cutting since age 11, I’m now 22. I hate trying to make my life seem dramatic or depressing, so I always lie and say I’m fine, opting instead to help others. I barely sleep or eat, and I feel like once again, I’m on a downward spiral.
Drugs. That’s what caused all this. There is lump in my throat telling me i dont think anyone will truly understand the absolute s**t it does to you, but who knows. So here is my story..
*Note* I am deeply ashamed of this, and i try to forget about it as much as i can. (i have not re-read this because it was hard enough writing it, im sorry about any spelling mistakes)
Grade nine was my first year of school ever (i was home schooled) so walking in the doors of that high school healed a lot more then desks and teachers, it healed experiences. I didnt know where […]
Huh? Funny. Not.
As of today I had a taste of that one step of ‘that-edge-of-the-cliff-stairwell’.
Just a taste, I’m still not sure if I’m ready to accept the To be/feel Disregarded step.
I’m not making sense. Because my mind is quite jumble as to what’s happening. I can feel the despair eating my insecurities.
My fingers are part of my emotion not my mind. I keep on typing, typing.
My God, I think I’m getting mad. As in the ‘nutcase’ kind.
This is to fast. Everything’s happening too fast. I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready.
That bottle is just there, a few steps away. 14 paces to be exact.
It […]
This is my story about how i had my heart broken a couple of times. it soon spawned a fear of abandonment in me and made me think i was never good enough. if you wish to hear how i survived my hardship then please read this.
I was born different from other kids. i chose not to give in to the social flow and i  lived how i felt. i had friends, a pretty good amount. i fell in love many times and had a few relationships. I grew up being who i felt was me. Sometime around the summer of 2012 about early June, […]
How do you tell someone that they’re the reason? How do you explain to them that they need to stop, and think about the things they say to you before it’s too late?
I wouldn’t say I’m completely past the point of suicidal thoughts, I wish I were. But I’m definitely not past the point of looking for jobs in foreign countries and fantasizing about packing up everything and just vanishing.
Do loved ones even realize the effect they truly have on us? Do they understand anything about how our minds work?
I feel like I’ve told them a thousand times about how sad I […]
I’m 17 years old(will turn 18 this June),5″3,39 kg,underconfident,anxious,afraid,failure,looser,quitter……Ive been heavily suicidal for like five years now!!!
Mostly due to my academic stress….till highschool i scored great and was a bright minded geeky kid but for some odd reason i started to grow more and more fears and day by day the roots of those fears anchored deeply into my conscience and i ended up being a fiasco….i fail at everything….i cant reach out for even the simple mundane goals…apparently i am still bright and healthy but inside there is a neverending armageddon and mental anguish…I am dead…I’m just a breathing corpse without any genuine […]
Somebody wrote to me “your great” today. I literally cried.
early in the morning
as the sun rises
you’re wide awake
no surprises
honestly, she never sleeps
she’s up til dawn
fussing about her weight
she’s pinching her tummy
she’s making herself sick
it’s honestly cruel
what children permit
-e.m.
i met a girl
and she told me
that she thought
she did not deserve a name
so
what i did
was rename her beautiful
now that’s what she cuts
into her own skin
-e.m.
i don’t know what to think
when you said
‘don’t blink,
i’ll just be gone a minute’
you didn’t come back
you killed your own self
so you didn’t have to
wake up in the morning
-e.m.
she had big doe eyes
the colour of emeralds
her lips like blood
quivering and shaking
darling as she may
she never wanted to see the day
where she woke up
after she tried to end it all
-e.m.
How do I even begin to explain the way that I am feeling?
It’s a sense of emptiness;
A sense that you would care not to have.
I have no drive or motivation to do anything.
I’m sick of living the life that I have.
Sick of living in this body of mine.
I can’t seem to get out of this rut.
I can only wish that I were someone else.
Wish that I was happy, but doing that gets me nowhere.
I have no destination.
My future is unknown.
I just want to disappear.
I want to eliminate my life, but I’m scared of the unknown.
I just wish I had the desire to live and the […]
….I’m afraid to live. But I guess I am going to try. I tried to kill myself by overdose but it didn’t work and I had to spend some time in a mental place. To say the least, it didn’t do a thing. I am still depressed, and occasionally I still want to just stop living. The only reason I don’t kill myself is because I have people I love. I can’t hurt them. I am on different pills now, but I have issues staying asleep and have started having panic attacks. I want therepy but we can’t seem to set up a meeting. […]
I just wanna say Wow. And I wanna hold my breathe and I wanna pinch myself cause I must be dreaming. Today my mom tried to choke me, and my sister broke it up. We called the cops and my mom was charged with Agrivated Assault and Domestic Violence and will be attending court Monday or Tuesday morning. After and during this thing is over she will never be eve to see me again. And also there was enough picture take , my neck was bruised. So minus my neck Im proud to say things are looking up   higurashi no naku koro ni dear […]
I know that this isnt very important but lately I’ve been over thrown by life and all that comes with it. The money problems? It’s too hard, I’m only in high school.. My parents? They hate each other so much.. It’s not fair they couldn’t be perfect.. My friends? They don’t exist. I lost them. My boyfriend? He dumped me because of my issues.. He’s happy with another girl. And lucky me I get to see them every day. I wish I could care less. I’ve tried, oh have I tried. I care too much. Every little thing eats away at me. When will I […]
People tell me who to be all the time, but I’m not them. I don’t act like them, I’m so different, and I love that.
I don’t want to be society’s cookie cutter girl. I’m not a fucking stereptype who can be labeled. I’m me.
And my foster mother hates that. She wants me to be a pink princess. She wants me to marry prince charming. She doesn’t want me to even think about me having a princess charming. I’m bisexual, a tomboy, and messed up. I’m not her. She doesn’t want me to be unique. If I told her that my dream is to be a […]
Hello everyone ! I’m doing this project i call ‘Tell me your story’. I did a facebook page & a blogspot. But I need YOUR help to make this work.I want to provide a way for everyone to interact with each other. This is how it works. You tell me your story, I tell everyone else. You could be known or stay on anon. It’s all up to you. What matters is that your story will be heard. People will know that you exist. You will leave a trace that you once existed. You will help other not do the same mistakes you did or […]
So one of my favorite sports is boxing. It’s pretty unusual for a girl apparently, but I’m a pretty unusual girl. I’ve fallen in love with it. I’ve been boxing since I was small. Almost everyone in my tiny little town did. I guess things are much different in America than I thought.
All the guys at my gym are perverts and sexists. (It doesn’t help that we wear sports bras and gym shorts.) I walk into the ring and I’m greeted with whistles and comments.
Does anyone do anything about it? Does anyone tell them to knock it off or to grow up?
No. I have to […]
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