I am so sorry. I know I should not have done it, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. It’s nothing anybody did. It’s all my fault. I love you guys, I love everyone in my life, but the pain I’ve been going through is just to much and I can’t picture myself ever getting better or happy again. Thank you for everything you have done. It really did stick and it did mean something. I just can’t continue on living the way I was feeling. I love you all so much and I am so sorry, I really am. I have to do this, It’s […]
Category:
My Suicide Note
I’ve thought about taking enough sleeping pills (OTC) to end it all. My desire to live is decreasing. I’m taking my meds. But I still have the thoughts.
I seriously want to kill myself. More than anything. I said last night that I don’t think I deserved to live and his response was “Who are you to judge who lives and who dies”. Surprisingly that may have just proved how useless I really am. I am much more of a burden than I am worth. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I speak. I hate my unbreakable habits. I wish that at the very least I could cut deep enough to seem legit, but all I am is a superficial, self absorbed, burden on the earth. […]
Hi. I’m Frank. Well, not really Frank. My real name is incredibly far from what my screen name suggests however, it is true of myself. I am honest and I am a writer. Before I go any further, I might as well mention that I have a degree in Psychology. Isn’t that lovely? I do not want anybody’s sympathy, I do not want anybody’s feedback, I merely am here to put the priper thoughts in its proper place.
I guess you can say that I have no right to be depressed or suicidal. Well, you’re right. I should be an advocate of good mental health […]
I can’t cope with this anymore. Everythings falling apart. Nobody cares about me and the only person that does, the girl I love with all my heart doesn’t anymore either. I’m a wreck. I break down, I get so angry, I cry, I can’t sleep and it happens everyday. I want to end my life so bad. Nobody will care that I’m gone. It will end all the pain I’ve put on people and they wont have to stress about me anymore. I have a plan. I’m going to write a suicide not explaining everything, I’m going to sneak out when everyone is asleep then […]
I am too worn out. It is almost impossible to even stand up out of bed in the morning. My family has rejected me, and I lost my parents to alcohol. I myself have tried to get sober but can’t deal with the mental stress. My last year was spend with my girlfriend struggling with alcoholism. After putting her through the third rehab and countless nights worrying she cheated on me with someone she met there and ran off. I literally gave her every last drop of life I had left and lost all my friends in the process. I went into deep depression and […]
Why is it that everyday for the last 17 months I have prayed that I will die in my sleep? Why do I hope that I would get cancer and pass quickly? Die in a single car accident? I would have been long gone by now if I wasn’t such a coward. I am sick of hearing that it will get better. Its been 17 months already and I am too tired to keep up the fight. The pain only gets worse with each passing day. I have spoke with counselors at the VA and that hasn’t helped. Zoloft hasn’t helped. I have spent countless […]
I’ve researched several ways to commit suicide. Most of what I read indicate a limited amount of success. I’d never use a gun, too messy. I’ve always gravitated towards RX and OTC drugs, My first attempt was Seroquil. I didn’t take enough, You need at least 10,000 mg. I’ve considered sixty Unisome. From what I’ve ready it may or may notwork
I’m not actively seeking, but I have a criteria of events that will steer me that way. I dunno, I just can’t cope.
but its just so hard….. I suffer from manic depression and existential anxiety. two days ago, I stood by a main road and contemplated jumping in front of a car. my mind told me that I wanted to die, but it also told me that I might die, and I was afraid. my father ran to me and pulled me away. my mom is mainly the reason… she hits me and tells me im worthless. I don’t tell the authorities because every time I try my mom says that she know how to hit me in ways that wont leave a mark and that they […]
I’m losing my daughter to her father. Her father who told me he molested her. I tried it to the cops, I’ve even called CPS. but since they can’t prove anything and he is more financially secure than I am he his going to get custody. I lost my job because of all the ccourt dates. My family is leaving state, the only support I have is leaving. I’m a shut in, my neighbors don’t even know I exist. I had a friend but they were killed year before last. I’m going to have no one. I have severe social anxiety couldn’t even call for […]
My first diagnosis–clinical depression–was made shortly after I turned 11 in fifth grade. My first antidepressant was Zoloft when I was starting eighth grade. I’m 34 now. My medication history reads like the shelves of a pharmacy: antidepressants, benzodiazopines, sedatives, and antipsychotics galore. When I was 25, a doctor pinned down the correct main diagnosis, and I learned what stigma among the mentally ill is like. No one likes people with Borderline Personality Disorder, no matter how unlike the stereotype that person is.
I had two periods of time when I thought I had healed. One was last summer until […]
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I tried half a teaspoon of Pentobarbital with lemonade today. At first I wondered why it wasn’t working. Then I stood up and I couldn’t walk straight so I got into bed. I woke up 17 hours later (I fell out of bed a couple of times) and I was hungry so I got something to eat. I was still heavily intoxicated and drowsy so I went back to bed.
I dreamed that I lived in a city enclosed by platinum panels forming a dome. Outside was a red, post-apocalyptic wasteland. There was a hole at the top of the dome?the only exit to the city. […]
It’s time.
I’ve spun around in circles, I’ve tried every known cantrip and trick known to man. I’ve talked with specialists and munched on pills for the better part of a year. The result? A big fat naught.
Nearly twenty years ago a snotty kid at the kindergarden screamed that he’d kill himself, when he got angry. He didn’t not at that time no. Years rolled the kid grew and experienced what can only be described as crippling fear all the way to his teenage years. By then everything had been molten into one gray sheet pulled over the window of life. Suicidal thoughts hung heavy in […]
I doubt that anyone I know in real life will ever think to look on this forum to find my posts. But if they do, I want them to know that I forgive them.
Mom and dad, you weren’t always right, but it wasn’t for a lack a of effort. You tried your best for me for almost 42 years. I appreciate it all. Thank you.
Brother, we didn’t always see eye to eye. We had disagreements, but I remember the good times we had. Take good care of your kids and yourself.
Sister, we were best friends growing up. You are still special to me. Thanks for […]
I would not categorize my self as depressed, but as an angry, lost, and weak individual. I’ll start my story in the year 1986. My father and mother have meet, fell in love and decided to get married. My father’s family was against it due to social, culture, and financial difference. But my father went and got married anyway, Romantic you might think? But it’s not. My mother had so much shit from his family and here family [they refused to help and just got money]. And my father did not do anything but stood in the corner and did nothing. He was, he is selfish.
Speeding […]
I have decided to go. My husband left me for the second time. I went all out to save him from domestic violence chargsd. I lied on the stand he never hit me; but the truth is he has never stopped hitting me or verbally abusing me. I have loved him truly n have gone all out. I risked my credibility, and the day charges got dropped he left me.
i pray this never happens to anyone but i also pray my pain ends soon. I have decided to take my life; after so many attempts of dying i am trying this nicotine ingestion.
I want to […]
Goodbye, Goodbye,
Tonight I die.
Today, Today
I’ll go away.
Tomorrow, Tomorrow,
Will be full of sorrow.
Goodbye, Goodbye,
I shall not cry.
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
Ive always felt like shit, always felt hated and ive always craved attention and i hate myself so bad for it.
Ive been bullied for years and havent told anyone. My brother felt the same way and he told me about it, instead of our parents, he then told our parents. They stopped him from going outside for weeks and they hired so many people to keep him from it, it was that way for 7 months then he got out and commited suicide. He was the only person to ever talk with me and he meant more to me than anyone else. I’ve never told […]