For your poems.
Yes im crazy, have issues but I dont need ni mother fucking doctors in pysco hospitals telling me what to.do, dont need therepist talking likebthey know me and I sure dont need help all I need is somev alcholo and a plan…im pist, stress,lonely and depress that explains it all >:O
Everywhere I turn
I can feel them staring
I know they all know
what I seem to be bearing
Not the cuts,
not the crying,
but the rumours,
and the lying
And I don’t know who to trust
or who to be
all I know is that they’re all staring,
straight at me
Well like the title said, Im about to celebrate one month on my anti depressants.
I feel better, and my friends are noticing a difference. Its a relief. I honestly never thought I could start to feel this much better. I dont remember being able to laugh and smile so much. Its just wonderful.
If I could talk to the boy I hurt so much, I would thank him. I still miss him but im hoping that feeling will fade over time. Hes the only reason I ever got on the meds and im still scared he committed suicide. But I realize as much pain it was to separate myself from him, […]
Life is funny for some of us. As long as we keep toiling and hanging on the moments of joy and peace are fleeting and teasing like a contest at a county fair or a playful friend.
And then one decides on ones own demise. One makes final preparations and gets the methiods ready. One goes through the process of releasing oneself from the cares of the world.
And then life wants to pull out the spinning backfist to the kidneys while you are looking at death. And it hits in one of those places that cannot be ignored. Sometimes if it is something for the self, […]
My race I have run and my time is done. Have traveled this mortal coil for several decades and found nothing worth me living for. Add some abuse and a couple of bouts of non self caused disease to that and you have a nice little going away party.
Then again maybe my programming was faulty out of the factory. Some organisms just cannot be repaired.
Yet life has many different things to offer different people. Some things so precious and special that to leave them behind would more painful for the individual who observes it so. And if you have anything that is perceived as such, […]
One year has passed since I saw you last.
The memories I have amassed are fading fast.
You could neve be at peace with the haunts of your past.
You left my heart broken, it still wants a cast.
I now sit alone in this summer field of grass.
Thinking of the winds that carry your ash.
I now stand alone on this winter hill of snow.
Torn because you couldn’t say, and I can never know.
One more year has passed since I saw you last.
All I can remember is the sound of your laugh.
Its never enough, it will forever only equal […]
I lied.
I told them to be happy when
I’m most certainly not.
I told them things get better when
I doubt that they ever will.
I told them to always have hope when
I’ve lost all of mine.
I told them everyone’s beautiful when
I feel ugly all the time.
I told them to always stay strong when
I’m slowly breaking as days go by.
Credit: watch-me-bleed.tumblr.com
Little angel, don’t you see how beautiful you are?
It’s time to stand up and wipe the blood from your eyes.
You are fighting this hopelessness and the end  seems so far.
For every second that passes, it feels like a part of you dies.
And they make you feel as if your feelings are not up to par.
But it is time to be strong cus I’m right beside you, fighting the lies
When you cry im there
Tears, im here
You scare I fight your fears
Why cant you do it in return.
You say so why am I.still in your life, why am I an asshole, the making fun of name calling when your suppose to be the love of my life. The abuse hits for every word but I stick around cuz you are my world.
Stop
Dont do it
Im here
FOREVER, iloveyou
Words you say when im on the edge but do you mean it or is it cuz you dont wanna be left alone, maybe you just dont wanna witness the dealth […]
Even though the history books are not 100% correct one can still glean from them the idea that many past societies had little or no conveniences. Things we accept as normal like running water, plentiful food, protection of children from slavery/chil labor, decent medical care, decent housing and transport.Â
Some places still lack some of those things above. And some of us in better living situations would lament the loss of such things.Â
Add in the various pain and persecution outside of these things and you have one tough enchilada.
Objectively speaking in many cases life would technically be less preferable than death for some people. This is […]
To the youth and adults who have decided to live, at least for today…
The person who makes your soul shiver.
The song that makes your ears quiver.
The food that makes your tongue dance.
The activity that lulls your mind into a trance.
The relative whose love warms your heart the most.
The pets about whom you brag and boast.
The responsibilities you prefer not to leave behind.
Their threads that your hands only can safely unwind.
The boulders you have yet to turn.
The bridges you prefer not to burn.
The safety and rhythm of scheduled routine.
The things you have not yet done or seen.
If you have one reason to stay, it may be […]
funny the way pain works isn’t it?
The way it doesn’t hurt to hurt yourself
But when someone else does it, it more than just smirks.
The rush that we get
from a knife and a slit
Can relieve the pain of the day
But a harsh word just may
Ruin that day
And make that slit much larger
It’s not the physical pain thats hard to deal with
A bruise or a cut will heal soon if
We treat it the way we should
But the words and the thoughts
From our heads do so rot
Inside of our soul forever
A prick there a cut […]
i used to be afraid of the dark
Didn’t we all?
Until I grew up and grew smart
Did I realize how small
My fear really is
Because now darkness is my mistress
And I her faithful servant
I can’t explain why I choose
To live life in shadow
In hate
In the dark
Maybe I’m just so used to it
That I don’t know where else to start
my day then without a ray
Of light
Of hope
Of joy
People say it’s not healthy to live this way
To love nothing but ones one own blood
But today I will stay and let that […]
Im noticing life is a challenge we gotta get passed, that suicide is a thought but doesnt have to be done. Days could get better even if its small, you see things or people you gotta stay alive for. You may have a better future so dont end a life for what happen in the past or the present cuz it gets better, live for the future <3
•My turning point in life – realizing suicide is just a thought dont have to let it take control , xoxo you not alone <3
🙂 you see that? Thats my face. All day. Every day. I put it on in the morning and it only varies a little. I hold everything in. Keep it away from my friends. They dont need to be worried. Because as time comes to show, once people know what face truly lies behind the lies they freak out and send you out to the hospital for a month again. So fuck it. I’ll just push it all back, then let it all out through my wrist at night. So far it’s worked alright. I’m doing just fine. Or so I say. I can even […]
they say knowledge is power
I say it’s a curse
To not know the truth is my desire
For ignorance is heaven on earth
To not know how cruel this world can be
To not know what is going to happen to me
Because my destiny is known by none but fate
They know the event but not the date
On which I’ll die, without a tear in my eye
Because I will have prayed for it all to end
To not know how far gone humanity has become
To not know how much love has stung my heart
And torn apart
My life from my soul
I went on my first date with Jasmine. Although it took nearly forever to get to see her (about 2 hours), I got to see her and whatever deity or unknown force decided to fuck off today.Â
Alex, her brother was there too. He understands the situation now and so does my brother, I love Jasmine and there’s nothing that will change it.Â
Even though I feel sexual thoughts for her, let me tell you that since she’s a girl, and I’m a guy, then that means… I will get sexual feelings for her? Yeah thats right.Â
But I was so nervous it took me till we were […]
people say the word time alot
Life gets better with time
Just give it time
I just need some time to figure things out
Only time will tell
Time heals all wounds
Time is used as a lie and an excuse
People take advantage of the time they use
The only people who truly appreciate time are those who have seen it run out; either for themselves or someone else.
Because time is a lie to those who wish to end their lives
Time just means more suffering.
Still time is a gift to those who survive and wish to cling to life.
My time […]
It calls it does again and again
Begging and pleading saying “Let me come in”
You feel it aproaching quickening its feet
Bringing death and disaster to all it does meet
Awake at midnight you feel it’s power
Have the urge to end your hour
A slip of the blade a drop of red
Breath does fade At last your dead
The sun rises and bids the day
Your parents open the door to wake
You from your slumber and then they see
Your bloodied form has gone to sleep
I tried of everything.
Tried of losing my friends.
Tried of not being notice.
Tried of those who don’t understand.
Tried of trying to fit in.
I so tried, just I want it all to end.
But i going to live, because I tried of people who think I am not going to make it.
I’m NOT tried of proving them wrong.
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