For your poems.
You know how you have an angel on one shoulder and a demon on another? Well, i mostly listen to the Demon….
Category:
Poetry & Art
Every moment of every day it’s with me. I have tried to hide it with drugs, alcohol, eating disorder, self scarring…You name it.
I have written notes, I have come very close….But, I am too afraid to fail. How sick is that? Too afraid…Afraid I will end up in a coma or paralyzed or deformed or worse….
I am middle aged and have always been depressed…Even as a child…No matter how much I try, how many psych meds I am on, how much therapy, support…Nothing works…
I didn’t choose to live this “life” and nor do I want to be here in the now writing this. Not even […]
This is about my razor… And how I will miss it so….
My parents seem like they don’t care about me anymore…. like there avoiding the situation.
Empty. Cold. Hollow. Alone.
I walk past cracked walls
That bleed crystal tears.
Vines that twist with thorns,
Shaped by the icy winds promise,
A false comfort of numbness.
Dust and dead leaves dance in silence
Ahead as my blood pumps a rhythm hard and fast.
Silent screams echoing, reverberating past,
And a cold sweat pours down my neck.
Rusty metal arms, silhouettes, seek – surround me
I run with fervor from shadowy cages of memories past.
Footfalls echo the frenzied beating of my heart.
Walls release cruel laughter and old screams.
I crash.
The Earth shatters into glass,
Walls crumble into sand,
Spiraling into a vortex of shard and […]
I survived another day,
Empty and alone.
No one noticing anything different
As I walk through my motions.
I laugh and cry
When I’m suppose to;
Wearing my multitude of masks
Day by day smiling that smile again.
A pretty little hollow doll that seems real.
All the world is a stage and
The curtain rises with the spotlight hitting me.
I know just the right words to say
In order to survive another day on this stage.
The words required to stay sane and save face,
In a world I don’t feel like I belong.
Always playing my part well without fail.
However, when the curtain closes for […]
i sit here contemplating about you. I wonder how perfect you are and my young obsession with you, almost 2 years back. I think about any chinks in your perfect complexion, but yet I still don’t see any. I watch your pictures I saved on my iPhone, from your Facebook. And can’t view yours after you blocked me and privates your profile after I mistakenly deleted you out of my misery filled stupor. All of this, stupidity, because you rejected me. I didn’t even know what I would say or how I would do it, especially when I can’t say it to your face. I’m […]
Hiding behind your fake smile
Because apparently, there’s more to gain
Show me hope and I’ll never let go
Hope has only given me more pain to know..
Its kinda sad that its tooken me this long to realize that I really do not have anyone.
Therapist are full if shit.
I used to want to be one, but then I thought about it, and pretty much realized that they are payed to listen to people, and though they chose that as a career.. I don’t know.. It just seems weird to me.
And if you disagree, well than you do.. Don’t fill the comments up woth, well y’know..
This is just my opinion.
I feel squeezed in another wourld. The wall was filled with a fluid anything sticklike is frowned upon. I am getting the moment words make paranoid, everything does now. I move a tiny bit I hear all the beep disappears and reappearsvlater I hate this dream most people were afraid of clowns I was afraid of thevtwisted metal clown and pschycological dreams scared the fuck out of me Omg I think this is step one of brain control. I felt shortness of breath paranoia, and a feeling of claustrophobia I hate this so much. It gets worse and worse. I hate it so much… And […]
I want to gush.
I want my skin to be sliced.
I want it to be over.
But why don’t I go ahead and end it?
I wish I fucking new.
I just want to be dead.
Rogue Shadow, I considered him to be a murderer and assassin. In my false comic thing of whatever that he was just an alter ego of something I wish I could be. Then, last Sunday, we were going home and my perception was at a high and knew everything like the mind of a genius killer was part of my brain. it was a simple thing, but thought to myself, we’re going to pick up my car. Turns out we did, I was creeped out by that but also excited over the potential. Now he’s in my brain, driving me close to insane. I blamed […]
Go get it. (i want to)
Any knife could cut your throat. (i hope so)
Just press hard enough. (i will)
I want to bleed it out.
All the pain.
All the worthlessness.
All the torture.
All the wasted love.
All of the unused attention.
All of the exhausted emotion.
Everything.
I just want to be over.
I cant take this anymore. she said she cant talk to me because she has a boyfriend and he would get mad. she didnt tell me who it was though. great, another boyfriend. well she obviously cares not about me, so theres no reason for me to live! so i grab the rope, i already know how to tie the hangmans noose so this will be easy. i tie the knot, go get the ladder and attatch it to the ceiling. i climb the ladder, place the rope around my neck. as im doing so, i think about what im leaving in this world. i am leaving all the […]
My best friends are the cuts on my left wrist. I’m not sure that anyone likes me anymore, and if they do they shouldn’t. But my scarlet lines are the only things that i can depend on to make me feel a little better. What can i say, im an addict.
I drink bitterness from the cup of life, being used and thrown away like a piece of refuse. Trusted in someone who did not care, un-loved and forgotten.