Poetry & Art

i am a mediocre at best meal served cold in a run down diner that smells of mildew and grease.

i am the imperfection in your work of art which you erase until i cease to exist and so does the idea that i could ever be a part of something so beautiful.

i am the blood on the mattress and the mud stain on the floor. i am the roach skittering into the dark to hide where it is more comfortable. to where i belong.

i am the dirt below the casket. i do not see the light of day anymore.

Hii, I’m still alive! Hope people are okay?(ish)I had an encounter with someone, who became significant to me in a matter of days. I’m too ill though and they backed away because of it, leaving me alone in this country so here’s a poem:

Pain is a teacher; an illusion,

To our confusion it will change the entirety of a life.

If you let it reside in your mind, it will grow like a tree,

warping, wrapping its roots through your psyche.

Let it flow instead like water, for a while all you’ll see

is blurred imagery. And a taste of tears in your mouth.

But atleast you’ll be free. You’ll heal, […]

The love lost

The love living

The love torn from both sides

Seeping into eternity

What will life hold

But a fray of exisistence

I exposed my soul

Let you know my feelings
But what was the goal?
You can’t help my healing

Maybe you can’t understand
What I’m going through
I just want you to hold my hand
You don’t have to tell me what to do

I just really need a friend
Someone I know I can lean on
To let me know this isn’t the end
To help me find the strength to carry on

Just lend me your shoulder to cry on
Lend me a listening ear
Tell me it will be ok and
Let me cry my tears

Isn’t anybody listening
To my silent cry for help
Isn’t anybody caring
If I ever get well

I’m trying to hold on
Though I feel so broken […]

What do you when nobody cares?

You reach out in pain

But there’s nobody there?
You’re slowly going insane

What do you do when you feel so empty
When there’s nothing left inside
You look in your heart, there’s nothing to see
But so many times you have tried

You keep reaching, but you’re just falling
Into the darkness even more
I’m just so tired of pretending
And I can’t do it anymore

I wish somebody would be there
When I need somebody to talk to
But I don’t think anybody cares
I don’t have a clue what to do

I just sit all alone in the darkness
Hour after hour, I can’t sleep
Why am I such a mess?
How have I fallen […]

i have been graced with a voice so sweet and this voice rings like a bell. a church bell, to be precise.

i know others hear this comforting sound. the words she speaks and sings so pleasantly stick in our minds like the golden honey she does not allow.

she commands us to ritualistically douse ourselves in water as if it were holy. as if it will cleanse our wrongdoings.

every day is accompanied by her singsong voice in the background, whispering in our ears.

and even though this voice is angelic the words it professes are not so polite.

this voice is a ringing in my ears that will […]

Time is here

Time is gone

Love is near and love is high

Love is deep

Love is uncertain

Love is lingering

Love is nigh

Love is without

Love is sin

If taking to a deeper self

Love will reign high

we do not speak the same language and we do not look the same way.

we are not flesh and blood. you are still family.

you bring me joy. you make me laugh. i love to be with you.

even though we do not speak, we communicate. you know me better than most people do.

you comfort me when i cry. you are always excited to see me. you are the sweetest thing i have ever known.

i do not know what i would do if anything ever happened to you before it is your time to go.

i heard all dogs go to heaven. i hope that’s true, because heaven […]

it is said that the man upstairs forgives all and loves all. he is a protector and a giver.

i often wonder if i am included.

i have spent my whole life pushing faith away. at the same time it has been forced down my throat.

i assume i am not included.

i cut my hair off because i no longer wished to be beautiful.

i do not want you to look at me and tell me about the way i look.

i do not care if i am beautiful in your eyes.

i am beautiful in my head.

i am beautiful in the way i used my broken second language to help a stranger from herself.

i am beautiful in the way that i will put you above myself. i am beautiful in the way that i will give until i have nothing.

i am beautiful in the way that i love.

i am beautiful in my ability to mold these letters into words that […]

you will never love your daughter the way you love your son.

you say he has his head on right and he is someone you can be proud of.

i do not think you have ever said those words about me.

i am sorry that i am not what you wanted.

you told me i would have been an abortion if it was not for my mother’s faith.

i think you gave up on me before i ever breathed my first breath.