For your poems.
What did I do to deserve this life?
Im so sorry
I just want it to end
I don’t want to feel
I don’t want to think
I just want to be free
Is that honestly to much to ask?
Its sad to think about, but so many of us are alone.
And we can not expect help to fall at our feet.
But from what I’ve learnt, only you, can save yourself.
How are you? Are you okay? Are you safe? Are you questioning yourself? Questioning your sanity? Deciding if you really wanna live on this shitty ass planet?
Well welcome to the party.
A party where lonely souls are never fully understood but voices are always heard.
You’re in pain? Can’t take it anymore? So sick of your life?
I understand. She understands. He understands. We’ve all been there. He’s there now. She fighting […]
So very many times I’ve tried to just lie in bed. To not get up. To not walk to the bathroom. To not grab the razor that hides in the cabinet. So many times I’ve failed. So miserably failed. Relapse is a normal part of recovery, I know. But how many times can you relapse before you’re no longer recovering anymore?
I just want you all to know that you are damn beautiful
Maybe you don’t believe me
Maybe you don’t hear it as much as you should
But I promise…
You are beautiful
Yes, you are
Strange people
In a red land
Trying to talk to me
If they can
Wire tears
At my throat
I’m stumbling
As I cross Their moat
Banging against the door
Bleeding out
How much more?
Slowly I rise
As I realize
Running away
Too far
My feet are raw
I’m gonna keep running
The cobbles break my toes
Their ambulance
It grabs me, breaks my nose
They don’t care
They have ensconced me in darkness
Chained, I metamorphose
Into a creature malignant and dyeing
Breaking free
And searching around
Bloody bones, prisoners abound
Indiscriminately I tear through
Not knowing or caring
Except about you
The […]
I glanced up at my alarm clock, the time was 1:13 am. It was time to go. I put my shoes on and got my jacket. I creeped slowly down the stairs and took an apple from the kitchen and put it into my pocket. Downstairs I pulled out the nail that holds the windows in place and crawled outside. It was a nice night, quite calm and the moon was bright but obscured by clouds. I walked up the side of the house that I lived in and started pissing behind a tree. I looked up the road a bit and admired how the […]
Caught
In a rut, in a strut
In always having rotten luck
In parading around, no end to be found
To always letting myself get cut
And burned
By the same old things
Caught
In a lie, by and by–
In the absence of cut and dry
It’s easier to smile and avoid their eyes
Than to let loose the truth I have no name for,
No cage for
Caught
In a lack if words
Between maybe wanting to be heard
And a need to never be seen again,
A wish to hide away from the world
Caught
With a snap, in a trap,
Falling into the ancient […]
Spitting fire
Pointed towards
The gloomy pyre
The festival is bright
Like your eyes
Remember the days?
I do
I’ll always remember you
Head bowed
I let a tear slip
Quickly it evaporates
But not before I pass on
It is clear
In my mind there is peace
In the sky
I see a man
He’s smiling but his eyes
Oh, to gaze into his eyes
They cry down sallow cheeks
The creases fill with salt
And drop into the ocean
Each night it slowly fills up
When I was small
Looking out onto the grassed terrace
Seeing his tears flow
I cried too
And realised
He was like me
Me and the Moon
We’re never alone
We cry together
AshesGod_sChild.
AshesGod_sChild. I Am Here Now, I Am that I Am, I Am as I Am, I Am Who and What I Am, I Am a young female Alpha wolf. I Am Here Now, in Heaven, Highest Heaven and on Earth, as Christ Jesus’s entirety of body being spirit and soul. The Haunted Girl. His Ghost. Belongs to the One and Only.
Revelation 1:8King James Version (KJV)
8 I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is […]
what do you think of life?…
has it treat you well?…
are you happy the way your life is?…
everyone knows that life is not perfect….
who knows……
is yours?
if it is then I’m happy for you..
if it is not then I do hope you find your way……
see ya…….
in the next life……
I’m such a fucking idiot.
I’m tired of not being able to manage my moods.
I’m sick of the fact that I have zero social skills,
and can’t really “read” people.
I’m tired of pills that don’t really fix anything.
I’m tired of not having the balls to kill myself.
(I’ve come pretty close though)
I’m tired of doctor’s who think they can heal me.
(They can’t)
I’m tired of the voices I hear, which I’m convinced are demons.
I’m tired of people not believing they’re real.
I’m sick of the fact that they’ll never stop until I’m dead.
I still believe in God.
I still think I’m going to heaven (but not certain anymore)
I sometimes don’t think […]
It’s getting awful lonely around the ‘bastard’s gentlemen club’
Shambles absolute shambles
It’s a pretty grim dawn.
So, go ahead pull the trigger, light the fuse.
Open the door, step on through.
It’s weird isn’t it?
That instant effect? That blaring distorting?
Zero apologies, no note, no comparative grievances.
This is a French exit of parallel thoughts.
Let’s go back to those hideous wilds with smiles on our faces.
Let’s get stranger again.
How about one last nasty scare before bed time?
One last gasp, one more really good cry.
Bring me a poison;
I would like to swallow
The choked feeling
In my throat
Bring me a noose;
I am tired of standing up
It will help to keep me upright
Even when I finally stop fighting
Bring me a blade;
I want to bleed out
All the pain and suffering
That resided in my being
Bring me sleeping pills;
To grant my greatest wish,
My greatest desire
To never wake up to another day
Bring me a gun;
Easy and swift,
I will put it against my head
May it blast my painful memories away
Bring me a disease;
May it slowly kill me.
Slowly, like walking in […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
Let me tell you something: if you notice something I’ve done, if it’s not great, if you see a flaw a misstep a mistake
I probably caught it too, and I’m using it as an excuse to escape
Into old habits and unfriendly thoughts, bad methods and frequent haunts, and let me tell you something: it’s a long way down from where I am.
Let me tell you something: if I’m hurting you’ll know, but you’ll brush it off like I do because I will have my glow as camouflage
And I won’t blame you for mistaking the inferno of an implosion for sunshine, because really
All around me the world is going insane, people getting bolder and indane.
Violence throughout with no discrimination, all people lost in oblivious conversation.
Society falls apart before our very eyes, and we fail to see through the silent lies.
Told through the pages of history, that have now become a lost majesty.
Bring us our daily bread, and then choke on the toxic lead.
That you feed us through a broken spoon, but then lead us to a lost tune.
I know this poem makes no sense, but neither does this world so tense.
Our world has reach peak insanity, yet there’s still yet another calamity.
There’s always enough room, for yet […]
The trees are screaming
The baby’s bleeding
And you my love, you are crying
Why do you weep?
So sorrowful
All these secrets you do keep
But if we could only talk
Maybe it would help
I wanna make it okay for you
I don’t know how
When I see your face
I smile and I cry
Coz every time I see you
It’s been longer than the last
And then we leave without ever speaking
Cracks in the walls
Deep within darkened halls
Where is the light?
You left me long ago
Will I leap?
From this deathly height
Or will I go running?
In terrible fright
Can you keep what matters most?
Or do you rip
Hearts from throats?
Can I count you as a friend?
Or will you hound me
To the end?
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI)
S to the S to the R to the I, S to the S to the R to the I,
Blocking my Serotonin reuptake to keep me alive.
Mirtazipine, Citalopram, Ventafalxine too,
My brain must be swimming in Serotonin soup!
I can’t just rely on these antidepressant medications,
Gotta keep exercising, eating good food and practise meditation.
See my friends and family and avoid procrastination,
Crack out the play doh and get some inspiration.
I can’t hide it, I belong to the one in four,
I hope this condition never comes to knock at your door.
If it does call me up and […]