For your poems.
My Christmas wish should not be spoken,Ă‚Â let alone be thought.
But those brave ones who made that wish and was received,
We silently smile to them and say Merry Christmas.
Category:
Poetry & Art
Ă‚Â Lies
Ă‚Â
Lies
Beautiful
Perfect
Lies
So meaningful
So happy
Lies
Destroying
Killing
Suffocating
Lies
Lie after lie
They come out in a rush
Straight to my heart
Like a bullet
Expelled from your mouth
Hurting more each time
Why did I put down my shield?
Why did I let myself go?
Why couldn’t I see?
That this would just result in horror
In things no one could possibly understand
Fathom
Learn
Hear
Feel
I slowly crumble
Before your eyes
And its like you don’t care
Ă‚Â You like my pain
You like to see
What I feel
Death
Pain
Terror
My life revolves around it
And you have the audacity
To ask me WHY?
As if you’re not the problem
As if I create my own depression
As if my own happiness
Is of my control
As if you are not the one pulling […]
My “counselor” who seems to never have time for me told me to write a letter to my mom. I will never have the courage to give it to her, but I need someone else than just me to read it.
Dear mom,
If you expect me to be perfect, respectful and gracious, why cant you be the same?
Why do I have to act like im someone else when im around you?
Why have you showed me that a fake smile and fake feelings are ok?
Why couldn’t you read the warning signs?
Why couldn’t you be there for me?
Being a teenager doesn’t mean being constantly sad.
It doesn’t mean that […]
You say you do. You say you understand. You say things like, “oh, I know exactly how you feel,” and, “I’m always here for you, I’ll never leave.” …but then there comes the time when you know you’re truly alone and that’s typically when you need them the most…and then they say, “well why can’t you just get over it?” and, “do you like being this way or something?”
…
Well, what they can’t seem to understand is that in some cases you don’t want to change or get better, and in other cases, you simply just can’t…
…
Sometimes even managing to open your eyes in the moment […]
It’s crazy how the most simplest thing like a few extra pounds can make someone want to die. How a model in a picture can make a difference in someone’s life so dramatically that they want to be like them or die trying. It’s crazy how people will scar themselves because they hate their body so much they want to hurt it because it won’t go away. Becoming so obsessed where you can’t even go more than 5 minutes before you’re wondering about what your stomach looks like in this outfit, wondering if people are laughing at you. Hating yourself because you ate something fattening. […]
so I don’t exactly know what to write, i feel like one of those typical depressed teenagers begging for sympathy. thats basically why this is the first time I’ll be talking about the way I’m feeling. i always feel like I’m bothering someone or sounding stupid if I talk about how I’m sad but I’m doing this not for replies but to just so I can get stuff out .. well I’m sad, obviously .. found this site from patheticly googling “how many sleeping pills will it take to overdose” god I’m a joke. it’s just like everyday I […]
If u could be doctor manhattan would u? to know ur entire past present n future simultaneously, to b invulnerable n never fear, never die or age, have the ability to manipulate even entire planets with ur mind, to be the only one of your kind, having to watch the world and those around u die n age as u remain forever the same, to be alone?
i always feel like its just me against the world. Ive always been the kindof person with a sort of protective bubble or shield around me that no one can penetrate i kno my little bubble isnt ideal n wont help me feel any less lonely but it keeps me safe it makes me feel like i can handle things it gives me the confidence to be able to do things and kno that i will withstand the pressures of others. I also focus almost exclusively on myself making sure that when all is said n done that i achieve what i set out to […]
I was reading an old notebook today and stumbled across a short poem. My friend had written it in there over a year ago. It made me think of her and how she departed the world.
Morphine, you flooded my brain
a temporary relief from mental pain.
I took you doses so stupid high
in the hopes I would never again open my eyes.
Unfortunately hours later I awake
in horror my death was but a fake.
The obvious next step would to seem
to double my dose of Morphine.
Yesterday afternoon I cutted myself, not a special thing, and afterwards I wrote this poem, which really describes my cutting. Hope you like it 🙂
That moment,
when the blood flows down your arm,
and you hear the blood drops drip.
That relaxing sound,
and the beautiful color of blood,
the relief you get.
The warmth of the cut,
and the stinging feeling of the blade,
but no hurt,
no pain.
You feel numb and relieved,
like you’re in a trance.
The blood still flows down your arm,
and your arm is covered in blood.
The blood drops drip a little faster,
drip…drip…drip…
Your body […]
The more I grow up the more I get older
Physically yes, but psychologically more
It’s like we have to be much more colder, to live life without being hurt
We build up walls so that we don’t get burned, that we fight
the urge of genuinely caring for each other.
Sweetheart, I’m only twenty years old and I started building this house of stone guarded by
Thorns to tear apart those
Who try to destroy the only heart
That I have
A lot of people don’t understand that
The joy that I have is not me trying
To be happy
If I were to […]
Some days I’m happy, but then I wake up to this
murky feeling, tugging on the apex of my struggling heart,
telling me that I don’t
deserve it.
The blood rushing out of my carotids
warming my neck all while carrying this
algesic discomfort
congesting my airways.
But what can I do?
Simply swallow this familiar feeling because
I’ll be damned if I let go of my
pride so instead I push this familiar feeling back,
down to the apex of my heart.
Because that is who I grew up to be.
Sadness suddenly appearsĂ‚Â
It knows it is one of my worst fears
The darkness is where it makes its attack
So why do I feel so safe in the haunting pitch black?Ă‚Â
We both know it will win the fightĂ‚Â
We both know I’ll end up sad tonightĂ‚Â
I beg it to leave me alone but it doesn’t want to be kind
It pounces on my vulnerability and destroys my state of mind
Ă‚Â
I fight even harder but I know it’s not going away Ă‚Â
It is extremely hungry tonightĂ‚Â and I’m it’s only prey
Its stronger than me and begins to Ă‚Â obtainĂ‚Â total controlĂ‚Â
Sadness is […]
This is my first time posting here. I’ve been to this site a lot. I’m not even sure if I should post or if it will help. I don’t think this is a plea for help. Maybe just an outlet for stuff I can’t say to anyone I know.
For about a year now I’ve struggled with self-diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder. And I’m pretty much done. Before July I was coping well enough with it. But immediately after July 27th, after a great week with friends at this church campground in Macon GA, Ă‚Â things started going downhill. And at the end of August I kinda fell […]
I
am so tired
of always getting hurt
when all I ever wanted
was to be loved,
someone to be there for me,
a friend.
I’m sorry I will never
be good enough
for a single person
in this god damn world.
All I wanted was someone
who wouldn’t leave me,
get sick of me,
or find someone better.
Was that so hard to ask for?
I’ll kill myself today
If you choose devotion over low life
I’ll kill myself today
If you put direction into a world with no daylight
I reached out to grab you with my short, stubby fingers, but all I grasped was the light that you left in your wake.
You are a balloon, filled to the brim with the heaviest helium and I am so small.
I fall short of the ribbon you extended me; leaving your words for the wind and your warmth for the sun.
The higher you float away, the heavier the atmosphere become and the reality sets in.
You’re flying away, casually, floating to a world I am not a part of and my feeble arms cannot extend to your heights.
They can’t even graze you.
My arms are useless and my […]
As a young girl, I once wrote a song.
It was a song that was written with a friend, so naturally, it was a duet. Our song had no words; it was just casually pounded out on the black and white keys of my 1910 Steinway with our short, clumsy fingers. We laughed and proclaimed parts of the song as pieces of the scenery.
“This is the leaves outside the house,” my friend mused, playing a quick, repetitive melody.
“Then this is the sound of the wind, moving the leaves!” I countered, excited that I had won that insignificant bout that transpired between no one but myself.
And so […]
When I feel like shit I listen to my special playlists about getting better. Please listen to them thet realy help.
*Giving up the gun
*Tomorrow will be kinder
*Concrete Angel
*Elenor Rigby
*Invisble
*How to save a life
*Warrior
*It’s Amazing
*Bluebird
*The day nobody dies
*Same love
*Battle Scars
*Brave
Hush little cutter, don’t say a word
The razor isn’t going to save you from their mean words.
Put down the metal and dry your tears
Only hope can save you from this nightmare,
The words they burn into your skin.
It hurts so bad you just want it to end.
You held your head high but they knocked you down,
ashes, ashes your on the ground.
Sometimes it feels like you can’t go on,
so you sit down and sing your last song.
Look around through your blury tears,
they wanted you to do this but it’s your worst fear.
You say goodbye and cut your wrists.
All […]