i’ve always been someone who needs to be someone to other people, you know? having lots of friends who depend on and trust me has been the thing that keeps me going and makes me appreciate myself and my life. i don’t know when exactly i ran out of energy to spend on other people. why did that happen? at some point i became insanely apathetic. i had no energy to try and take care of everyone anymore. i lost my purpose, my calling in life and people got mad at me for not caring enough. why did i become such a bad friend? now i’m […]
Virtual Reality is an escape from Reality ,
Virtual Reality is the escape from Reality ,
this boring Reality (Reality is boring ) !
this boring real life (real life is boring ) !
this boring real world (real world is boring ) !
boring life ( life is boring) !
Seriously, when Reality is boring & mundane (even real Science is boring & mundane too, science fiction (sci-fi) is better than boring science real ! ) , Virtual Reality is the only TRUE / REAL progress for humanity / mankind / our human species !
with Virtual Reality (VR) technology , we can enter into […]
Today i am feeling happy and its been hard lately, but i want to share my happiness with all of you because every single person deserves and has the right to be HAPPY! You are strong and you are worth it, keep fighting <3
***Spread the happiness***
Fuck.
I’ve rewritten this so many times and still have no idea how to start this off. I guess I’ll start off like this. I moved to my new house almost 4 years ago when I was in 7th grade.
I didn’t handle it to well
I cried my second week of school in front of everyone, then again during lunch. I felt like I had lost everything. All my friends that took me years to make. After crying in front of everyone I stopped going to school. I’d miss like 2 or 3 days every week. I was told […]
Life is cold, I feel alone, even when surrounded by people, I feel like I’m in a different world than them. That I can’t ever have anyone in my life. I’ve been through a lot, went from being a sexually abused boy, to testifying against my father at age 7, lost my family in the process, and now find myself alone. Albeit now I’m a prosecutor now thinking that asking questions in court rather than being asked them would somehow make life ok. I now find myself weary from constantly seeing people at their worst, and dealing with criminals and trying to find justice. However […]
Dear whoever,
Is there even anybody who reads this? Or maybe we’re all just self indulgent in our misery :/
Anyway here I am, this is new. I feel silly. My boyfriend abuses me. Mostly emotionally but sometimes physically. It’s not stopping.
Tbh I must be really unlucky or been a dictator in my past life. I was adopted because my parents were too young and too high on some kind of drug, I don’t know which they never told me. Unfortunately my adopted parents weren’t…great? Well my mum mainly, but I blame my dad more because he knew she was hurting me but ignored it.
So I guess […]
science is boring !
science fiction is better than science fact !
sci-fi is better than science fact !
real science is boring !
Reality is boring ! Reality sucks !
Real life is boring ! Real life sucks !
Real world is boring ! Real world sucks !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
I HATE MONEY […]
I have noticed a relatively common theme among suicidal people is the belief that the people around them – and the world in general – would be “better off” without them. They often express remorse and inner turmoil for the pain they have caused others.
It’s strange – even during my own darkest moments, I never believed anyone would actually be “better off” without me. No better or worse? Absolutely (truthfully, that is where much of my pain derived from – the fact that it didn’t seem to matter whether or not I existed). But not better.
The way I see it, if you recognize the fact […]
Suddenly i realized that it is not my nightmares i am afraid of, or the monster that hides inside me, nor the ghosts that hide in the corners or the darkness inside my mind.. i realize that what I’m actually afraid of is being alone.. “alone” that awful word to hear.
I have a past of self-harming – usually just to bring me pain, not to kill myself. This past year I have pierced myself 16 times. 14 ear piercings and at the moment I am getting Dahlia piercings. I noticed that during the times I’d go into my bathroom and puncture my skin, I would be extremely upset.
Am I self-harming?
It took 18 years to remember
You want five to forget
Forget about it.
I never thought I could survive to college. I never saw myself in a dorm. I never saw friends.
But I did. I didn’t live in a dorm. I rented a two-bedroom house with a fenced yard for my two adopted dogs. I went to class. It’s my fifth year in school, and yeah my past caught up to me, and yeah I had a few slip-ups, but I am going to graduate in May with honors- a GPA above 3.0.
So why?
Why do I want to die now?
Of all times, places, people, memories, why now?
I […]
If I could just do it right now, it would be very little planning, as few “tools” as possible and I would REALLY enjoy feeling physically amazing just before starting.
I would want to do something quick, like a little slit of the wrists, thighs,and then carotid and jugular veins / arteries. Either that our I’d eat a bullet. Quick, precise, and thorough.
The only reason I can’t do it right
this moment is because I have so much shit to wrap up so that I know that I will be absolutely no more burden to anyone. , Plus, if I were to go […]
just need someone to talk to right now… please
Honestly i just feel like theres no cure to being me. Despite all my good points i feel like my personality is hollow and empty. Because it was pain and trauma that developed, that shaped who i am completely, to the point its all there is inside me. I was molested as a child, abused and harassed for being anorexic or self harming, dealt with poverty and a severely mentally ill mother often by myself when my father was basically out of the picture, grew up isolated (no school, no friends), i’ve been homeless and just so much shit (some i dont want to get […]
I don’t know what I’m doing. People always say “there is reason for living, there is reason to stay alive” but I don’t see that. What’s my reason? My 3 best friends of 3.5 years that stopped talking to me two days before my birthday? My dad that left when I was two weeks old?
A friend of mine once said to me (before his girlfriend blocked me on his account) “You can’t say no one else has any reason for living.” but what I was trying to say to him was, why are any of us alive? What is the point of life? We aren’t […]
Lets do it. Lets start a trust fund. We all sell some pf our things then put it in a trust and agree to all meet someplace and use the tust money to pay the fair for who ever wants to come. Then we buy a bomb and just hold hands and sing a prayer or a hymn or something and just wait for it to us all up. Don’t you see that this is your chance!? Stop procastinating! We can do this together don’t you see! we can help each other. We’re all in the same boat so lets just punch a hole in […]
Just a glimpse into my ordinary life…I was at work just like every other day and decided to check my personal email on my phone during lunch. A funny yet perverted friend of mine found a craigslist ad and receive various semi-nude and nude photos from the person and he sent them to me. This is nothing new but in the pictures, the background items seemed familiar. I ask him to forward the email chain to me and I pulled the metadata from the pictures and they were taken at the same time as my wife was at a friend’s house out-of-state and the make […]
I have felt so distant lately even though I know my isolation could ruin the few relationships I have, I can’t stop myself. Do they really care? I hope not. So many times I have heard people say that they only want to be loved but all I ever wanted was to be forgotten COMPLETELY. Not in this stagnant state of conditional love. It would make the transcendence so much easier. I linger in the shadows so that I am overlooked and I won’t have to answer questions or ask them. I inquired for help in a moment of weakness, of fear. I have come […]
I dont understand 🙁
I feel like im useless, all i want is to be successful.. People say that if you work hard enough and invest yourself fully in what you want that you will be successful but what about the hobo on the corner? He wanted to be an artist and spent all his money on his art and droped out of school to proceed his pasion.. He failed.. And he gave it his all.. How do i know that wont be me?
Do you remember when your breaking point was. When you finally couldn’t take all the darkness that you felt around you. The moment you let yourself down.. The moment when you didn’t give a shit if you died or lived. I remember it and I have the evidence for the rest of my existing life. I only cut myself on the left side of my wrist. Why ruin your other wrist. Just put the pain all in one spot at a time. Just look at your artwork of scars. I remember when the breaking point was. I promised my self I would never harm myself, […]