Hi there,

I spent the past 3 or 4 months feeling suicidal, I attempted 3 times, the last time being a month ago. I had to have my heart restarted and spent days in the hospital and days after that being seen by specialists. The thing is I was so certain I wanted to die and that if I didn’t succeed somehow I would try it again. I even put in my note that I would try it again and again until I succeeded. But something has changed, I can’t explain it, I don’t have suicidal urges anymore. I don’t even think about suicide… at least […]

It’s been awhile. Honestly I try to avoid this site whenever I start feeling better, because while this support group is really amazing and it’s the only place I can be honest and completely open up, it’s also depressing. But here I am again. I guess the thing about depression is that it gets better and it gets worse but it never really goes away.

Like most people here I have depression, but for about 4 years now I’ve been hiding it. I told my mom once and she said – ‘Do you even know what depression is?’ and then she dismissed it and never mentioned it again, now […]

i might be holding a suicide awareness even for my school!!!

I really like clawing at my skin, tearing chunks out of my arms, scratching till i bleed, and it stings. It makes me feel calm, Like im in power, Like i have control over everything.

(sorry if this is triggering to anyone)

(…) So that when the moment comes,
I can say I did it all with love

— Röyksopp & Robyn – Monument

LIFE ISN’T SO BAD. I GET HOW YOU FEEL. LET’S LAUGH AT IT TOGETHER.

THERE IS JOY AND HAPPINESS AND BEAUTY IN LIFE. LET’S FEEL IT TOGETHER.

Hello, I am death. Aren’t I beautiful? I will cure all your problems in one quick move.

All you need to do is look and see. I am dazzling. Nothing compares to me. Have you tried talking to family, friends? Have you tried medication? Therapists? Have you tried getting your life in order? Have you done all you can but all still fails and you are left with grave regrets. Does your past haunt you? Is it impossible to move on? Is there no hope for the future?

When life is endless pain, and it seems there is no […]

I can’t resist the temptation.

When I see the blood come out from where I cut, I seem to become lost in a trance. I become fascinated. It’s inciting. I can’t resist the temptation to draw more blood. It’s as if as the blood represents all my negative emotions, and is it pours out, my negative emotions are slowly cleansed. The temptation is too great. It makes me happy. The emotion that I thought I’d lost. Call me crazy, but I love it.

Also I don’t really want anyone to tell me not to cut, to go distract myself, go talk to someone. I have done all […]

But I’m so messed up I can’t even let people help me. It’s times like these when I’m sat in my room alone crying and wanting to scream and just get out of this horrible mind of mine when I actually start thinking I need help. I need someone to tell me what’s happening, what’s wrong, and how to make this stop. But I can’t. Nearly a year ago I had a counsellor at school for 5 months. For 5 months I didn’t say anything. I felt trapped. When she would ask me questions I’d sit there like an idiot staring at the desk. I […]

The pain is getting worse. The pain is getting longer. The pain is getting more frequent.

Maybe I should keep quiet about it. A silent suicide.

Yeah. I won’t talk about it anymore. If I die, then so be it. It’ll be all natural, won’t it.

Stay calm. Patience. Just be patient. Just wait. Let it be natural. All in all, it’ll be a better memory for those who remember.

Be patient.

I tell you I hate you every time I feel like saying I love you. I never want to seem crazy but I feel crazy crazy that once again I have failed feeling too much over a course of months. My father said love was a myth for the fools. How mythical of me to fall in love with a fool. Poor little fool who can’t seem to love me. If only he had the ability to feel what I feel how I feel it we’d be able to prove daddy wrong.  So instead I say the second strongest word I feel hate because I […]

And the sad thing is…. I actually want to live.

I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing.

Out………

The more I sit here in this dark wrecked place I’ve made for myself I wonder why? Why did things work out like this? Why did everything change? Could I have done more? Should I have done less? Should I have begged and pleaded? Why? Why is this all so crazy? What is all this insanity? I’m going insane? I’m dead I’m dying… Why? Why must I have to keep going on? Why can’t I just be released from all this agony?!?! A thousand tears and nothing left to weep.. Now what? Where do I turn? I have nothing.. No one.. Please… I’m so […]

I want to throw myself off a building but I have a daughter, poor thing shouldn’t be in this wretched world but I was forced to have her (I’m 18 btw), and I know I should leave her with her father but i don’t even know anymore. He doesn’t have a job, his mother takes care of him, his father doesn’t accept the child, my boyfriend is a druggy with manic depression, lazy, and I just don’t know… Help?

I felt so lost one day. I finally confessed to a friend how I felt. My plans to die. Everything. He called me a coward, told me I was worthless scum. I should just kill myself and he wouldn’t care at all. I think it broke me. Now I can barely eat, sleep, or just do anything. This was the first time I tried to talk to someone about it who didn’t figure out for themselves. I’m never going to do that again. Why can’t he see how much he hurt me?

Hi. This is actually my first time to do this kind of thing. Like, asking for help regarding my depression so im having a hard time telling this. Im a 14 yrs old girl. Im really depressed. I cut too due to a lot of reasons. People see me as the jolly, cheerful, happy girl but it’s totally the opposite. Im struggling everyday. Whenever im sad or when i feel like crying, I just keep it inside, i don’t show emotions. For a week now, everyday i’ve thought of comitting suicide, i’ve searched on ways but, I really don’t want to end my life yet. […]

So fucking broken… I quit.. I’m done… Everything I do I fuck up.. I fail.. Everything’s always a lie… Nothing feels right… All hope is gone… I’m a wreck I can not go on…. Help me out of this hell I’m too weak to reach out.. I guess just lay me down.. I’m ready… I’m not afraid to sleep forever …..

Is it better to feel everything at once or nothing at all I’m numb one minute then I feel everything the next the cycle repeast