This past mont my anxiety and paranoia have gotten so fucking bad that at some points in my day I can barely breathe. I shake and my head goes crazy. I get so dizzy and my fiancé helps me he does but when he’s not here my anxiety gets worse.

I am feeling low. I called my crisis line THREE times before I got it out what was really bothering me. I finally admitted how I don’t want to be, that I was looking for the pills I knew would work. :((( but I could not find them. I stopped looking, good or bad…

The thing is, isn’t it crazy to be mad at the world and people around you but then, you take it out on yourself?? I mean, really, the reaction of wanting to hurt yourself because the world seems off kilter, that is crazy!

And yet, here I am, once again… 🙁   (Still, something […]

Hi! My name is Sandra, i’m struggling with depression, anxiety and self harm, and i kind of pushed everybody away when i started feeling bad, so now i don’t really have anyone i can talk to about how i’m feeling, i wouldn’t like anyone to feel alone so i just wanted to say that if any of you want to talk you have me here and maybe we can help each other through this hard time. You can kik me if you want to: worthlessgirl12

I’m starting on my letters. There are a lot, but I have a lot of goodbyes I’ll never get to set face to face.

Even with my eyes shut tight, I still see it coming now.

I need someone to talk to. I’m apprehensive of calling a suicide hotline, as I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital when I did that half a year ago or so… I sent a message to the staff of one of these suicide hotlines yesterday (you can do that on their website), but it will probably take them a few days to reply.

No, this isn’t the first time I’ve felt my depression tightening its grip at the beginning of a new year… but it is the first time my “post NYE depression” has been […]

I’m so tired of being jealous of others happiness. Life is no longer fun. It’s a struggle I have to force myself to go through everyday. I don’t know what to do.

So for the past 2 months, I’ve been extremely depressed. I’ve hardly been able to get anything done. I had to take an incomplete for my class, and everything’s due tomorrow, yet I haven’t even done anything. I’m so screwed. I feel so helpless. It was a few weeks ago where I felt so depressed I thought that if I helped others, if I left little notes for strangers, I might feel better. Which I have been doing, I even started a blog about it called strangerafess.tumblr.com. My friend helped me with writing notes too, except these were supposed to be more funny ones, than […]

I’m still debating. If  I want to go through with it or not. I’ve been thinking about it all morning, all night, these past few days and the different ways to go about it. What are the easiest ways, the painful, the painless, the long, etc. Actually if I go through with it, I don’t mind if I survive. I’m the kind of person who while (at least until now) I haven’t tried to commit suicide deliberately, I don’t care if it happens when trying to injure myself (aka I’m trying to hurt myself really badly not die, but if I die in the process […]

I feel like the only reason I haven’t killed myself is because how sad it would make everyone around me.

Is that selfish?

I don’t want to live. It pains me to get out of bed every morning, I don’t see the point.

I’m such an asshole. I hate being around people, especially at work. They’re always in the way. And I haven’t worked out a way to ask them to move without feeling angry. I try to be polite, but my face seems to betray me – ‘I hate you for not having the self-consciousness to realise you’re in my way, I hate that I have to ask you to move just so I can do my job, and I hate myself that this is how I’m spending my life.’

Or people try to make small talk. There’s reasons I don’t want to talk about myself. I feel […]

I’m the reason why my parents may get a divorce soon.. the only thing that’s holding this family together is my soon to be seven year old brother. Listen, I’m not overreacting or anything when I say this, my family hates me. Because I’m pretty sure that most families don’t call their daughters/sons: tramps, sl*ts, wh**es, and other things like that…

When I was in the eighth grade I was put into an actual public school; I thought everything would turn out alright. I thought everything would go the way I wanted it to. I was wrong. Not even a month of school had passed before […]

All I am is a fucking grade point average, and believe me, that number isn’t too great. I can’t be stupid, I’ve been a success for much of my life, and I’m certified as gifted, but now I can’t even pass my god damn classes. What college would want a lazy, idiotic piece of shit such as I?

I don’t know why I’m depressed. If someone asked me why or if I was writing a suicide note and trying to explain it, I wouldn’t know what to say. My parents are constantly at each others throats, have been for as long as I can remember. I’ve seen violence in my family, even been on the receiving end of it a few times. My old school was horrible, my classmates hated me and always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. But those three reasons are all I can think of and they’re not even that bad. My parents love me […]

How does one figure out who they are without their sadness? Is it the mask I put on even when I am sad? Because I’ve been wearing that mask so often that I feel it is who I’ve become now…like the mask is somehow etched into my life permanently that it becomes a knee-jerk reaction to how I act around people…

How do I know who I am without my sadness, when I haven’t had a time I can remember that wasn’t without sadness?

Please help…I’ve been trying to figure this one out for weeks…

Found out yesterday my father is leaving my mother (with three children). He fell in love with a co-worker half his age, a few years older than me. He just took his clothes and left without telling his children. He want going to tell mom either. My mom finally confronted him….And asked him if what she silently hoping want true was real. He admitted top being in love with someone else and just left. This just happened. Happy 2015. My dad isn’t an abusive alcoholic junkie asshole. He had his problems sure like we all do but […]

Anyone………

I’ve been lurking on this site for about a week now and finally decided to register today.I decided to reach out because I’ve been having a really hard time coping with things recently. My therapist was a waste of a degree, my friends don’t understand, and my girlfriend just recently left me.

It’s not like I haven’t had a hard time before. I’ve been in, what I call, a bad head space before. I’ve been hospitalized three times, have been cutting for some time now, and have attempted to kill myself twice. It just feels so much different this time.

I was and am still in love. […]

Please could someone listen and talk to me, I beg for some understanding and logical explanation which always guided me through life.

I’m physically healthy, 36 years old woman, fairly fit and apparently ‘pretty’ – I always looked after myself with great care. I have two loving friends and a great well paid job. I have two pets which I love more than anything in the world

I come from a messed up background, but managed to live with it and cope to certain extend.

i have been depressed for over 10 years and treated with various meds. Yesterday my husband of almost 10 years decide des to […]

Now I’m gonna have that song in my head. I don’t want to die. I just … don’t want to live, either. Can you commit suicide by apathy? What if I just stop taking my meds, stop eating, stop drinking, stop doing anything other than lay in my bed and stare at the wall and remind myself that I’m a cold-hearted monster that breaks everything, that can’t really love, and that no one will ever love back? I hope my cats wait until I’m dead to start nibbling at my body for survival, but, well, c’est la vie. It’s […]

It got to the point where not even a bottle of vodka can get me to talk to my friends about my problems.I feel so damn alone,shut and distant from everyone .There are days i feel bad,angry with myself for still being alive and yet most of the time i feel nothing at all,the numb feeling took over my whole self.

Im sorry for writing this,i just had to .I know many of you have bigger problems than me and im here whining.Sorry.I hope it gets better for you.